Berian Powell has always been passionate about motorcycling, a hobby he inherited from his dad Neil. But, tragically, in July, 2019, it was a motorcycle crash that suddenly killed 60-year-old Neil.
Berian has now opened up about life over the last four years without his "best friend" and has shared a heartwarming gesture in his memory, which he hopes will help others struggling with grief. The 29-year-old, who lives in Merthyr Tydfil, said: "My father was a wonderful man and I don't think there was anyone he didn't get on with.
"He was a gentle little fella, but he was a highly respected person in and out of work (in Caerphilly Council). He was a Pontlottyn man born and bred and I got to know quite a lot of his friends . Many said we look alike and are the spitting image in personality and looks." You can get more story updates straight to your inbox by subscribing to our newsletters here.
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He said that, although several years had passed since his father's death "it doesn't get easier at all" especially because his mum relied on him for care and support. "I have taken over a lot of the role now that my father had in taking care of my mother," he said. "He was a real family man. I'm my father's only biological child but he raised my older [siblings] as his own. I have a 10-month old little girl now who unfortunately never met her grandad, which is upsetting because he would have loved her.
"My dad would always be doing something with us, whether that was kayaking, cycling or anything. We couldn't afford to go abroad but would holiday in Porthcawl. My siblings and I would make friends with kids in the holiday park and before you knew it he'd be playing football with all of us and he would be one of the kids."
Berian said Neil rode motorcycles his entire life, which was where his own love for them began. He said his dad took a break from riding for several years until Berian bought his first bike at the age of 23. This excited Neil and spurred him on to save up some money to buy his own bike again, so the pair could go riding together.
On July 28, 2019, Berian said Neil went out for a ride on his motorbike with his wife's brother and a friend from work. But, sadly, on a B-road between Pontypool and Abergavenny, Neil died in a crash with a car. Berian said that, although it breaks his heart, it gives him some comfort to know that his dad was killed instantly and wasn't in pain for long. One of the most difficult things for Berian is that he was also supposed to ride with his dad that day.
Berian said: "I'm a believer in everything happens for a reason. On that day he asked me to go out with him, but the only reason I couldn't go was because a couple of weeks prior, I came off my bike at a roundabout and it wasn't roadworthy. So, unfortunately, I wasn't there. It made me question if I was there, what would have happened? Would he have gone a different way? It was a case of being at the wrong place at the wrong time. I can't remember the last conversation I had with my dad and that upsets me."
Losing his dad was Berian's first experience of loss and came as a huge "wake-up call", he said. "For me, it's the first close person I ever lost so it was a wake-up call. It broke me because it came out of the blue. It taught me one hell of a hard lesson that you have to make every day count because one day you can be here and one day you may not. I refuse to leave my partner or my little girl now without saying I love them."
In time for Father's Day on June 18, Berian - who had recently been made redundant - decided to put all his time and energy into creating something in Neil's memory. With a limited musical background, but interest in creating music, Berian wrote a song called "Goodbye". It came as an emotional surprise to many of his family and friends, who he didn't tell about his venture until he shared it on social media for Father's Day.
He said: "I haven't really got a music history. I learned to play the guitar from the age of 12 and my father played the piano, which I am learning now. Having a go at music has always been something I've wanted to do but I had always been too scared. Back in January I was out of work having been made redundant which was getting me down, then it all clicked. I said I was going to try it and that's what I did."
After doing some research, Berian said he sent an email to music producer Stuart Epps about his idea, who has worked with some of the biggest names in the music industry including Elton John, Led Zeppelin, Oasis and Robbie Williams. Berian said he was delighted when Stuart replied to him straight away and was willing to help his vision come to life.
Berian said: "He asked me what I'm capable of doing and I said I am capable of writing lyrics and I play the guitar. I told him my downside is that I struggle terribly with coordination which means I can't play and sing at the same time so I needed help arranging music. We made an appointment with him and went down to Maidenhead where he is based and we spoke about the song and why I want to write it."
The song's emotional lyrics discuss the loss Berian now feels in his life without his dad. He explained: "It's based on the fact my father is gone, how I don't remember the last conversation I had with him before he was killed, how we were best friends and how it took my father dying to realise this horrible truth that we were so close. He was the best man in the world to me. Even though it is mine and Stuart's song, I like to think it's a song for anybody, it may also have meaning for others if they have also lost their father or similar."
Following praise for the song, which is available on YouTube, Amazon and iTunes, Berian said he was looking to work with Stuart again in the future to create more songs. He said that if his dad could see him now, he would be very proud. "My dad has always been proud of me and everything I've done, so I imagine he's very happy with it," he said.
