My boss wants me to set a good moral example to her daughters and nieces both inside and outside of the workplace.
She obviously realises they need good role models in their lives, but she doesn’t know the full extent of their behaviour which involves regular drinking binges and sleeping with a lot of guys.
They also take part in drinking contests with other girls and play strip poker.
They are always on at me to join in with their games and get fully naked to see who has the sexiest body, but I decline.
And when I refuse, they call me things like “chicken” and “Sista Straight Lace”.
They think I’m too prudish about myself and even said I had a really low IQ!
I’m 22 and drink only a little and have no other vices, but I’m fine with that.
The other women at work have advised me not to have anything to do with these girls outside of the office because they’re bad company and no good for me.
It’s a really awkward situation, though, because my boss is their mother and their auntie.
Can you help?
Coleen says:
This is going way beyond your job description, but I understand it’s a bit intimidating to say no to your boss.
However, she has no right to expect you to parent or babysit her daughters and nieces, either inside or outside of work.
So, I think you have to be brave and explain that while you’ll always set a good example in the office in terms of how you approach your work and your relationships with colleagues, you’re not their mother and it’s not your place to tell them what to do.
Plus, they won’t listen to you anyway!
These girls sound immature and don’t let them bully you into doing anything you don’t want to do.
If they call you names for refusing to join in their games, then say, “I’m not a prude or a wimp actually, and you have a lot of growing up to do. If you think you’re impressing anyone, you’re wrong.”
I’ve had to resist peer pressure most of my life because I don’t drink (I’ll have a rum and Coke on a very special occasion), but if it comes up in a social situation and someone says to me, “Don’t be boring”, I just think, “No, you’re boring!”
It’s that pack mentality – if you’re not joining in they turn on you.
So, the other women at work are right – don’t hang out with these girls and if they want to know why, just say it’s not your cup of tea.
