A Sydney woman allegedly murdered by her on-off boyfriend wrote in her diary that she "can't take it anymore", with a jury told it cannot rule suicide out.
Defence barrister Daniel McMahon finished his closing address in the NSW Supreme Court on Wednesday reading personal notes from Samah Baker, who disappeared.
James Hachem, 36, has pleaded not guilty to murdering the 30 year old on January 4, 2019. Her body has never been found.
Mr McMahon said some of the diary entries could be guessed at being penned sometime between 2017 and 2018.
"I feel suffocated not sure why," Ms Baker wrote in one.
"So much pain and suffering on the inside."
"I can't take it anymore ... I need to take a breath."
Mr McMahon submitted that an uncle who abused her re-entering her life, frustration at treading water financially, and not liking her job may have "all got too much".
An unknown male's DNA found on her mattress remains unidentified.
A number of people claimed to have seen her after the date she was last allegedly seen on January 4, but the police did not properly investigate these, Mr McMahon said.
The jury has heard evidence of the accused and the deceased speaking to each other in an over-familiar and unfiltered fashion, bickering and abusing each other at times.
Mr McMahon argued his client and Ms Baker had a long and intermittent relationship and the case that his client became overcome with jealousy at her infidelity did not fit.
Many facets of the case including an answered Snapchat message after the alleged date of murder, and her mobile continuing to hit cell towers after this date, are left unexplained, he said.
Relatives reported the young woman missing after a friend said she dropped her off at her Parramatta home in the early hours of January 4.
Hachem told police in a February 2019 interview that he had gone to the unit and left to go to K-Mart to buy her towels and sheets.
On his return, they were intimate again and parted when it was daylight as they were both tired.
He said he put some garbage in empty bins at his brother's units, some in his bin and a broken bed frame out for a council pick-up.
The detective referred him to CCTV stills of his car which appeared to have something "flesh tone" coloured in the back seat.
"Is it possible a person is in the back?" the detective asked.
Hachem denied this, saying the insinuations were very upsetting.
Asked about buying facial and other wipes, garbage bags and a pair of heavy-duty gloves at Coles, Hachem said he used the wipes to clean himself after masturbating and the rest for kitchen appliances.
The trial continues.
Lifeline 13 11 14
