A mum who lost her baby aims to keep her son's memory alive as she says people "still don't understand" and grieving parents "need more".
Millie Wylie, 23, found out she was pregnant with her third son last year and could not wait. But in September, at 14 weeks, on the way to her scan she said she had an overwhelming gut feeling that something was wrong.
Upon arriving at the Liverpool Women's Hospital, she said it was "silent the whole time" before she was told the devastating news that there was no heartbeat and she'd had a missed miscarriage [when a baby dies in the womb but the mother has not had any symptoms]. Now, she has set up a project in Lenny's memory, to help other grieving parents.
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She told the ECHO : "I had the strongest feeling on the way that he was already gone, I can't put my finger on it but I ignored it. At the time it was when people were going into scans alone because of covid which wasn't fair because partners were waiting outside not knowing what they were going through.
"Baby loss happens every day. People need to understand, some say it isn't losing a baby but he had toes etc, it was still really early. Baby loss is still stigmatised, people push past it. Before Lenny, I thought it was rare, but it happens every day and not just in the Women's, but every hospital."
To help with her grief, Millie has set up a project, Lenny's Love, in which she will create bereavement bags which will contain pyjamas, underwear, sanitary items, tissues, chocolate and memorial items.
It will also contain a certificate of birth recognition, unofficially, for those suffering loss before 24-weeks of pregnancy, as "every loss is a loss of life" and support contacts.
Millie added: "There's still a stigma around baby loss and I don't get it. I want to reduce that stigma. The past few months I've wondered what I can do, there's not enough awareness and I wanted to keep Lenny's name alive.
"He was still a baby and there's no way to move past that. I began raising money for charities and now these bags to offer support. We need to keep that conversation going because people still don't understand.
"People say nature is taking its course or you can have another baby soon, they don't know how to approach the situation. My partner was late to the scan but when he got there we were taken to a room and told our options. You can't blame the hospital or anyone, no-one is to blame, even though you want to blame someone.
"I got some things like a bear and poppy seeds and although a nice gesture at the time, it wasn't enough. That's where Lenny's Love bags come in, you just need more. I don't want to do just 20 bags for the Women's, I want this to be big."
The Liverpool mum said she suffered a miscarriage after experiencing no telling symptoms, but added all losses of life are "still a loss" whether through a miscarriage, stillbirth or termination. She told the ECHO: "So many people don't get their results of cause, and most get inconclusive but it's a long wait for that closure, a long wait of twiddling your fingers waiting, not knowing what is going on.
"Don't blame yourself, you are not alone, reach out if you need help."
Earlier this year, Millie climbed Coniston in aid of Baby loss Alliance, Zoe’s Place & 4Louis and raised £755 to split between them. Now, she has set up a fundraising page with a £500 target to help with the Lenny's Love support bags as she said knowing someone cares is a "little bit of comfort" in a devastating time.
The fundraiser can be found here. More information can be found on Twitter or Instagram with the handles @LennysLove_
