A mum-of-two has recalled the moment her "kind and loving" sister died holding her hand.
Catrin Rhiannon Rees died of organ failure at Prince Charles Hospital in Merthyr Tydfil, Wales, in February following a drug overdose. Her sister Bethan, who was just three years older, was in Liverpool when she received a phone call from her mum telling her Catrin had not turned up for work before she was rushed to hospital.
Bethan is hoping to raise awareness of Asperger's syndrome and suicide following her sister's death in a bid to help others. Catrin was 24 years old when she was diagnosed with Asperger's syndrome, Wales Online reports.
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Studies have shown that depression and suicide ideation is more common in people with autism than in the general population.
Bethan, a former teacher and a mother of two daughters, said she and her sister had a very close relationship growing up. She added: "We were friends and sisters, we only had each other for most of the time.
"Even though Catrin was a tomboy and I was a girly-girl, we were very close. We would spend most of our time up in the woods making dens.
Bethan said: "Growing up, Catrin was the ideal child - she was so happy and pleasant, lovely and kind. But when she hit puberty, her hormones kicked in and she struggled with her mental health.
"Our aunt died when Catrin was 14 and I was 17 in 2003. I think that really kickstarted Catrin’s depression and paranoia. She was convinced that people hated her and she would play over things in her head, which is so sad".
Catrin would later seek help through counselling and at the age of 24 was diagnosed with Asperger's. Although Catrin spent years struggling with her mental health, Bethan said her sister found joy through the things and people she loved the most: "Gwen and Effie, my children, were the apples of her eye."
Mental health helplines and support groups
The following are helplines and support networks for people to talk to, mostly listed on the NHS Choices website
- Samaritans (116 123) operates a 24-hour service available every day of the year. If you prefer to write down how you're feeling, or if you're worried about being overheard on the phone, you can email Samaritans at jo@samaritans.org.
- CALM Campaign Against Living Miserably (0800 58 58 58) is a leading movement against suicide. It runs a UK helpline and webchat from 5pm to midnight 365 days a year for anyone who has hit a wall for any reason, who need to talk or find information and support.
- PANDAS (0808 1961 776) runs a free helpline and offers a support service for people who may be suffering with perinatal mental illness, including prenatal (antenatal) and postnatal depression plus support for their family or network.
- PAPYRUS (0800 068 41 41) is an organisation supporting teenagers and young adults who are feeling suicidal.
- Mind (0300 123 3393) is a charity providing advice and support to empower anyone experiencing a mental health problem. They campaign to improve services, raise awareness and promote understanding.
Bethan added that animal lover Catrin was also a huge Star Wars, Marvel and Harry Potter fan, and adored rock music. However, during the pandemic in 2020, Catrin's mental health took a turn for the worse. Bethan added: "Like a lot of people, she hadn’t been 100% since lockdown.
"She didn’t have a partner, no children, she was on her own. Although she rented a house I owned, which was in Merthyr and wasn't too far away from us, she moved in with my parents at the start of lockdown because she didn’t want to live on her own.
"She was self-employed as a dog groomer, she could claim furlough but she lost a lot of money, she couldn’t book in anyone for four months. Then last year she had an operation because she had a large hip and spinal integration because of the effects of the dog grooming."
Bethan said she was in Liverpool when she got a call from her mum. Catrin ran her dog grooming business from her parents' garage, but on Monday, February 20, she didn't turn up for work.
Bethan said: "My father was in work and my husband was in work. It was half term, so my mam was looking after my kids at her house. It was around 9.30am, Catrin hadn't turned up to work and she had a dog booked in that morning.
"My mam phoned her and asked where she was as she had a customer coming. Catrin was distraught and asked my mam if she could come down.
"My mam told her she couldn’t as she had Gwen and Effie with her, and encouraged her to come up instead. But Catrin said 'I can’t come up, I’ve done something'. And my mother said that she knew then - her stomach turned, she knew what she had done."
Catrin had taken a drug overdose and was rushed to Prince Charles Hospital in Merthyr Tydfil.
Despite the medical staff's best efforts, Catrin suffered from liver failure. She also suffered with a kidney failure, cardiac arrest and the swelling of the brain before her tragic death.
Bethan added: "The doctors couldn't work out why her liver wasn't responding to treatment. By the Tuesday evening, they were going to send her to Birmingham’s Queen Elizabeth Hospital to be on a list for a liver transplant, but she was too ill to even go.
"By 7pm she was in ITU and she had a really bad night. Then, we were told at 5.30am the next morning that there was nothing that could be done.
"As my aunt had done the same 20 years ago, we knew the process of what was going to happen. The doctor, who was lovely, came to speak to us and told us that she was dying. Even now, I can't get the noise of those words out of my head. I remember my mam telling the doctor: 'Let her go peacefully, don't let her suffer'."
Bethan would spend the last remaining minutes of Catrin's life by her side. Recalling her last conversation with her younger sister, she said: "We were at the ITU one evening, it was just me and my dad while my mam had gone home as she hadn't been back for two days.
"I was trying to get her to go to sleep as she was very restless. I was like Florence Nightingale, packing pillows under her legs, raising her arms up because she had drips, making sure that she was comfortable.
"I joked 'come on, we can’t usually get you out of bed normally, you love your sleep. You’ve got to sleep now'. I was joking with her right until the end.
"She was saying 'I’m sorry' and I told her ‘don’t be sorry, just get better. Nobody’s upset with you for doing this, we just want you to get better'. That was one of the last times I spoke to her."
She added: "When we knew she was going to die, I said that I wasn’t going to leave her, I didn’t want my sister to pass away on her own. So I stood by her bed, held her hand and hugged her.
"She had a teddy bear dog that she called Walkers because it was the colour of Walkers crisps, she got it when she was around the age of three. And she had him with her in hospital, my parents had taken it up for her while she was unwell. She cuddled him right until the end."
Catrin passed away on Wednesday morning, February 22, at the age of 34. Bethan says that she is "absolutely devastated" that her sister has gone. Catrin's funeral took place on Wednesday, with her bespoke coffin adorned with a purple nebula cover, which was her favourite colour.
Bethan said that the support the family has received in recent weeks has been heartwarming. She added: "We are quite a small family but our extended friends are in the hundreds. We’ve been comforted by everyone that’s supported us, the messages and flowers sent to us.
"The Facebook messages have been fantastic. I’ve been really busy, trying to stay strong for my girls - I don’t want to be crying in front of them. But I'm absolutely devastated that she's gone. We're all distraught.
"Around 200 people attended the funeral, I don't think she realised how many people would come or how many people cared and loved her. She has taught me to be a more selfless person, she was such a kind and loving person."
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