The naughty step became an iconic form of punishment for kids, thanks to Supernanny Jo Frost's television show from the early 2000s.
But one mum has never sent any of her kids for a time out like that - and she doesn't ever plan to either. Single parent Hannah Canavan has decided to take a gentle approach with her little ones after working in a pupil referral unit for troubled children. Her role saw her use natural consequences rather than punishments with the kids and the 33-year-old claims she saw how it helped their behaviour.
Hannah, from South London, has since adopted this same technique with her own three children, Esmae, Eira and Elfie - and as well as avoiding punishment, she also doesn't reward them when they do something good.
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Rather than giving them a treat or shouting at her daughters when they've done something wrong, Hannah simply calmly explains what has happened.
Hannah, who home educates her girls, said: "I have never punished or rewarded my children, and it really works for me.
"If you look at the prison system you can see punishment doesn’t work as there wouldn’t be second or third-time offenders there if that was the case.
"People think that my kids must misbehave because I don’t punish them but that’s not the case at all.
"Because I don’t shout or take something away from them, they’re not scared of me.
"They respect me and listen to me because I’ll calmly explain why they shouldn’t do something, and they learn from it."
Hannah claims she's never raised her voice to her daughters, who are all under 11 - even when they were young.
"If they ran out into the road or something like that my immediate reaction might be to shout 'no'," she admits
"But I would then just get them to safety and have a discussion with them about how that is extremely dangerous and show them a video about car crashes so they can see the severity of it.
"Nine times out of 10 they then won’t do it again.
"If you shout at them and say they’re not going to get an ice cream because they did something wrong then they’ll focus on the fact that mum or dad is cross and not on what they actually did."
But while she doesn't punish them, the mum still makes sure she has solid boundaries in place with her children, and won’t tolerate any swearing, shouting or hitting.
Would you give gentle parenting a go? Let us know in the comments below.
"If they swear or hit then I’ll look at the situation as to why it happened but explain that it’s not the way to react," she explains.
"Kids are kids, and they don’t always behave as you would like them to.
"They might misbehave in a restaurant by banging a spoon on the table and rather than shouting at them, I’ll take it off them and take them outside and calmly explain that we won’t go back until they know they shouldn’t do that.
"I’m biased, I think my kids are really lovely and polite - but people think they will be awful because of the fact I don’t punish them.
"But they listen to me and even come to me if they’ve done something wrong as they’re not scared to.
"Just the other day Eira came to me as she thought she had broken a table and she was honest about it.
"They know that I am reasonable, and they’ll always ask for permission from me."
The mum went on to explain that while she doesn't give random treats to reward her daughters she does still praise them and celebrate their accomplishments.
"If one has done a lovely piece of art or something I’ll praise them and give a genuine reaction," she said.
"But I won’t get them a treat because of it.
"When they’re older and they start to do exams, we’ll go out as a family to celebrate the effort that went into them rather than the results.
"I don’t want to take away their instinctive motivation to do something. If they think they’ll get a reward then they’ll just be doing it for that."
She adds that this method of parenting has helped to keep her family close and she'll be continuing on with it in the future.
"I feel very lucky.
"Of course, it’s not perfect and we all have off days but we’re a close family and the girls respect me but are also not scared of me. I’ll never punish them."
Hannah's top five tips for gentle parenting:
- Remember that it is a process, not an outcome- so be patient with yourself!
- If you feel grumpy and that you're likely to shout, try and lower your voice and whisper- this can often stop kids shouting too as they have to be quiet to hear you!
- Instead of asking questions when your child has done something you don't like, state facts instead such as "This needs to be cleaned up please" or "Books aren't for throwing."
- Offer alternatives - "we don't put those in our mouths, but you can have some ice cubes to suck on" or "we don't throw books but let's throw some beanbags in the garden!"
- Once you have decided on a boundary, accept that there might be a tantrum. Instead of moving the boundary to stop your child reacting, focus on validating their feelings and then helping them to move forward. "I know you're upset we can't watch more TV; I feel the same when I can't watch as much as I'd like. Would you like a hug while you're feeling sad?"
Do you have an unusual parenting style? Email yourmirror@mirror.co.uk
