The ex-partner of baby killer John Tighe has described the agony of losing Joshua at the hands of the murderer and said the birth of her second-born daughter two years later saved her life.
In her first interview since her son Joshua was murdered in 2013, brave Natascha Suessbier said she is thankful to ‘caring’ social workers from the child and family agency Tusla for making a crucial intervention.
The Tusla staff warned her while heavily pregnant in October 2015 that Tighe, who was then a prime suspect in the death of baby Joshua, was a potential danger to their unborn child and insisted they could not raise the baby together.
READ MORE: Mum of murdered baby Joshua Sussbier tells of how killer dad John Tighe was a 'control freak'
“If it wasn’t for Tusla I would have never found out the truth or woken up and that could have cost me my second child who could have been hurt or taken into care,” Natascha told The Western People.
“I think if I didn’t have my daughter, I would be dead as I did have those thoughts. I think it would have been too much but when she was born, I had a reason to get up every morning.”
Following Joshua’s death, Natascha (28) did not want to believe her partner was responsible, and although there was never the same trust, she agreed to go back to him.
She became pregnant for a second time in early-2015 and just hours before she was due to give birth at Mayo University Hospital Tusla social workers informed her she would have to place her new-born baby in foster care if she did not separate from Tighe.
Tighe of Lavallyroe, Cloonfad, Ballyhaunis was given a life sentence at the Central Criminal Court in 2018 after being convicted of murdering six-and-a-half-month-old infant Joshua at his home.
He had insisted his son’s death on June 1, 2013, was an accident and he told gardaí he carelessly left a wad of tissues within baby Joshua’s reach while he went to the toilet.
Expert medical witnesses all agreed in court it would have been impossible for Joshua to form or swallow the ‘egg-shaped wad’ independently, which was removed during a post-mortem from his throat.
Natascha said the evidence was deeply traumatic particularly the 999-call made by evil Tighe which was played and where she could hear Joshua take his last few breaths.
The German-born woman acknowledges the trial was very painful, but stated it also brought home the reality of what happened, and it stopped some of the denial and disbelief she had over the murder.
She is also very grateful to the jury who returned a unanimous guilty verdict.
“I was relieved because I knew somehow, I was free, and he was going away. I didn’t have to worry about him annoying me anymore, trying to get me back and I knew that my daughter was safe which was a huge relief,” she added.
Natascha met her ex-partner in October 2011 while she was living in Cork’. She was just 17 when a mutual friend set up an introduction over the phone and they began texting for several weeks before the then 34-year-old met her in person and pretended he was 26.
Natascha spent several days with Tighe and initially thought he was a nice person.
She decided to travel back to Cloonfad with him and said she was so innocent she even ‘brought her school bag to study’.
After announcing she was pregnant in 2012, Natascha noticed that Tighe became very jealous and possessive, raising issues about innocent friendships and social outings.
“In March 2013, things changed and there was an incident when he physically abused me with Joshua in my arms and before that he would take control of my phone, the internet and landline, “ Natascha said.
The couple temporarily split up in March 2013 and Natascha begun a new relationship. She moved to Claremorris and on May 31, 2013, put up a post on social media that she had a new boyfriend.
Tighe collected Joshua from Natascha that evening and by the following afternoon the infant had choked to death.
During a call to emergency services, Tighe, who was in his home in Cloonfad alone, was advised to hit, slap and tap the baby’s back and front to push the obstructive item out.
Tighe claimed he could see the blockage and was told to grab it and pull it out. A doctor arrived 23 minutes after the emergency call but by that stage Joshua was dead.
Natascha said she sent Tighe a text on the morning of June 1, 2013, to ask how Joshua was and she received a call that would change her life forever.
“My phone rang, and he was crying and he said, ‘Oh Joshua died’. I said ‘F**k off, are you kidding me’. I didn’t believe him, I genuinely thought he was pulling a dirty prank on me,” she added.
Natascha said a mutual friend in the area confirmed her worst fears and she went to the house in Cloonfad and collapsed at the door crying in utter despair and asked, ‘What have you done?
Natascha describes Joshua as a very happy, wonderful, content child who ‘always had a smile on his face’. His death left her utterly devastated and crestfallen.
“I didn’t just lose a child. I lost a lifetime of memories, I lost his first steps, his first words, his first school day, school graduations, his birth days , I lost everything, “Natascha said.
“He didn’t just take my child; he took everything by taking Joshua and I have to live with that every single day.” Tighe has never shown any remorse and refused to recognise the jury’s verdict.
Earlier this year, he failed in an attempt to overturn his conviction and he must now serve the life sentence imposed on him in 2018.
Natascha is now the adoring mother of two daughters, aged seven and 11-months, but the horror of her first-born child’s death is with her every hour of every day.
“There are nights I cry myself and where I scream into my pillow because I can’t let my kids see how broken I really am, but I hide it,” she said. “I have to keep myself busy.”
Natascha said possessive Tighe made her feel worthless and like she would be unable to survive without him and she is convinced he believed he ‘owned her’.
She recalled how Tighe would undo arrangements she made on Joshua’s grave after they separated and even ‘drilled his things onto the flowerpots of Joshua’s grave’.
Natascha has advised any person being abused by a controlling partner to reach out to a neighbour, friend or anybody.
“I only woke up to what happened after it happened. The best advice I could give is listen to your gut not your heart,” she stated. “If there’s anything that doesn’t feel right or feels off leave the situation before it gets too bad, because especially if there’s children involved, it could save a child’s life.”
Natascha is thankful for the huge support from her current partner of six years, his family and her friends, many of whom are from Cloonfad, who stood alongside her throughout the trial.
She said a wooden cross currently adorns Joshua’s grave in Cloonfad, but she is planning to launch a GoFundMe page to finally raise enough money to erect a headstone for him.
“I talk to my daughter about him, and I tell her God needed an angel in heaven. A headstone is the least Joshua deserves,” she concluded.
To donate to Natascha’s GoFundMe log on to: https://gofund.me/3fd7940d
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