A mum has told how she believes her daughter died from a little known mental health disorder when she stepped out in front of a car.
Tiegan Spencer, 19, died from her injuries after being hit by a Land Rover in Hayle, Cornwall, last year - having walked into the path of the vehicle.
Her mum Debra Southern thinks she died as a result of an autism -adjacent condition which plagued the teenager all her life.
An inquest into Tiegan’s death concluded last Monday that she died as a result of an accident, having stepped into the front-side of the 4x4, which was being driven carefully.
Ms Southern suspects Tiegan might have impulsively done it on purpose but she will never know for sure, reported CornwallLive.
She said Tiegan suffered from Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA), which according to the National Autistic Society (NAS), is characterised by an avoidance of "everyday demands and expectations to an extreme extent.”
“It’s a developmental disorder, distinct from autism even though it’s on the spectrum. Autistic kids are quite rigid, can’t have things changed - and PDA kids are similar," said Debra.
“But their brain, it’s a lot of things rolled into one, it’s the need to resist normal demands because their brain almost makes them think it’s a threat. You could ask them to put their shoes on, and they’ll process that as an anxiety and react really badly to it.
“And it makes things so hard. Tiegan and I had a very complicated relationship and she was in and out of my life for the last year of her life. PDA kids push every single button you have - it’s hard work, it’s brain frying, what’s good one day isn’t good for the next. These kids end up in jail. You can’t control them.”
As the NAS outlines, unlike most people with autism, those labelled as PDA frequently have developed social skills and can use them for better or worse: “People with this profile can appear excessively controlling and dominating, especially when they feel anxious.
"However, they can also be confident and engaging when they feel secure and in control. It’s important to acknowledge that these people have a hidden disability. People with a PDA profile are likely to need a lot of support. The earlier the recognition of PDA, the sooner appropriate support can be put in place.”
Debra added: “They lie, with their anxiety. They'll tell half truths. She’s gone to school and told everyone that she had no parents and that they were dead. I was at home and knew nothing about it.
“Another time, before we moved to Cornwall in 2014, I picked Tiegan up from school and she told me these massive lies, that a teacher had grabbed her. I went to the school kicking off, screaming. When I found out it didn’t happen, she admitted it and seemed completely unbothered. She just said she didn’t want to go to the school anymore so did it.
“The lies they come out with are incredibly. She’d claim she’s blind and couldn't go to school because she couldn’t see anymore.”
Debra went on that a diagnosis of autism at the age of 15, with a profile of PDA, came far too late and that she thinks the condition needs to be taken more seriously. She said: “When they’re not listened to and not helped, people just see this person, they don’t see the anxiety from people putting demands on her. PDA does rule their lives, it rules it.
“But everyone blames them, and they blame the parents. I never want to see another child go through what my Tigs went through."
The day Tiegan was fatally hit by a car on November 17, 2021, she had just fallen out of a relationship and, Debra says, was in a particularly bad mental state. In the 18 months prior, too, since Tiegan turned 18, the mother-daughter pair were frequently falling in and out of each other’s lives in a cycle.
While a suggestion of suicide was dismissed by the coroner at her inquest, Tiegan’s mother still thinks there’s a chance she took her own life. “When the coroner said there was no suicide note - there won’t be a note,” Debra said. “The way my Tigs was, she’d do what she want and not give a toss about the consequences. She’d do it no matter what. She could have done it impulsively, the state she was in.”
Debra finished by paying a beautiful tribute to her daughter, in spite of a tricky relationship, saying: "She was beautiful, absolutely beautiful. She had an amazing nature, she was loving and caring. But no self respect and she didn’t love herself in the slightest.
“My Tigs - she was my Tigs. My baby, I miss her every single day. There's not a minute I don't think about her. She was everything.”
