Brendan O'Carroll has opened up about the grief he experienced following the death of his eldest child.
The Mrs Brown's Boys creator and his first wife Doreen O'Carroll welcomed their first son Brendan Jnr into the world together two years after tying the knot in 1977, but the new parents suffered unimageable tragedy when their baby passed away just one week after being born.
Recalling his son's birth and death in his new memoir, Brendan explains to readers how a nurse called him from hospital to tell him Doreen - whom he divorced in 1999 - had 'a tough fight ahead of her', before he rushed to be by his then-wife's side as she prepared to give birth to their child.
He goes on to share how shortly after his son Brendan Jnr was born, before he could even meet his first child, doctors told him how the newborn baby had a condition called hydrocephalus and spina bifida and had been admitted to intensive care as Doreen recovered in a private room.
In his new memoir, Brendan opens up about the heartbreaking death of his firstborn child, alongside chronicling how his hit show Mrs Brown's Boys was almost cancelled due to one 'petty' word radio bosses once had an issue and explains why he almost stopped his wedding to second wife Jennifer Gibney at the altar in 2005.
Writing about the arrival of his first child, Brendan explains to readers how he called his 'mammy' to ask if she knew anything about his newborn son's condition as his wife slept shortly after the birth - remembering how his mother told him 'what the battle my son faced was'.
Spina bifida is when a baby's spine and spinal cord does not develop properly in the womb, causing a gap in the spine. Many babies born with spina bifida get hydrocephalus, which means that there is extra fluid in and around the brain.
Lots of babies born with hydrocephalus (congenital hydrocephalus) have permanent brain damage and if they survive, can experience several long-term complications throughout their life including speech and vision problems.
"Although I was very young, I could not wait to be a father, probably because for most of my life I didn't have one," Brendan writes when recalling the conversation with his mother.
He explains how before his son was even born he had a picture in his head of a perfect family life at home with the 'baby out back on a swing that I had made', before poignantly adding: "Suddenly I had found myself in what I thought was a nightmare."
Brendan continues to recall returning to the hospital after visiting his mother to find Doreen recovering from the traumatic birth. As his then-wife slept, nurses took him to meet his son.
"He was beautiful. Big blue eyes. God love him, he looked like me. I know it sounds stupid, but I counted his fingers and I counted his toes. Ten of each. I couldn't see anything wrong with him," the star writes - adding how his son "looked like any other baby I had ever seen, except more beautiful."
Sadly, Brendan was then told by a doctor how he and Doreen would probably never be able to take their newborn son home from the hospital - something that led to the comedian going to his car to cry.
"I wished I could do something to change all that was happening. But I couldn't. All I could do was be an onlooker and cheerleader, and, for a week, a father," Brendan poignantly recalls when writing about the death of his son.
Before divorcing in 1999, Brendan and Doreen welcomed three more children into the world together, including daughter Fiona who appears on Mrs Brown's Boys alongside her father.
Call Me Mrs Brown by Brendan O'Carroll is out now in hardback and Kindle form.
*If you have been affected by this story, advice and support can be found at childbereavementuk.org or you can call them on 0800 02 888 40.
