Whatever you do, do not allow Guy Ritchie, the director of “Snatch,” “Sherlock Holmes,” "Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels” and now the mysteriously titled “Operation Fortune: Ruse de guerre,” to direct a Bond movie.
This mostly uninspired audition tape begins in London in murky-looking scenes featuring an operator named Nathan Jasmine (Cary Elwes in too much makeup) walking noisily to a meeting with some muckety muck named Norman (Eddie Marsan). Nathan is a kind of cross between M of the Bond films and Q. He’s putting together a team to retrieve some high-tech item worth billions that has been stolen by heavily armed thieves. The item is called “the Handle,” and it is the film’s MacGuffin, the thing that seems terribly important, but is mostly a distraction. Nathan actually tells Norman that he needs someone with “a unique set of skills.” No, it’s not Liam Neeson’s Bryan Mills. It’s Jason Statham’s Orson Fortune. Heard of him? Me neither.
Aiding Fortune are the beautiful, high-tech whiz Sarah Fidel (Aubrey Plaza) and super-warrior J.J. Davies (Bugzy Malone). They will first go to Madrid's airport to retrieve a hard-drive in a choreographed sequence involving tasers, punches and a download. Nathan then arranges a sting involving a billionaire arms dealer named Greg Simmonds (Hugh Grant, probably doing an imitation of someone), who takes a strong liking to pseudo-Bond girl Sarah. Nathan knows that Simmonds, who is throwing a party aboard his super-yacht in Cannes, is a huge fan of action movie star Danny Francesco (Josh Hartnett). In fact, Simmonds’ people once offered Danny $10 million to jump out of a cake at Simmonds’ birthday party (Danny declined). Orson blackmails Danny into helping him, using proof found by Sarah that Danny is having an affair with his sister-in-law. Simmonds has a collection of props used in Danny’s films, including a vintage Mustang that probably belongs to Ritchie himself.
There is a running joke about how much the obviously working-class Orson costs the government because he is partial to ultra-expensive wines, meals and lodging when he is working (a Bond habit as well). In a tedious development, a talented and dangerous rival named Mike (Peter Ferdinando) keeps interfering with Orson’s operations. Mike also wants “the Handle.” Sarah says, “I’m in,” so often when she’s performing her tech magic that I was tempting to respond, “Get out.” J.J. plugs people from afar with rifles equipped with telescopic sights. I wasn’t sure who half of them were.
The characters’ uniformly drab names are also some sort of joke. But I couldn’t figure out what it was. Maybe, it’s a British thing. The dialogue is almost clever, including lines about, “Flying fowl,” meaning flying to Turkey. If that’s a joke, it’s foul. Ritchie circles the globe, using geographic captions like a crazed post-imperialist on a nostalgic best-of tour. Statham does his usual butt-kicking routine. But I enjoy that much more in his leaner, meaner “Transporter” films. Although Plaza is amusing, Grant is predictably the most entertaining actor in the film. His Simmonds is both evil and absolutely filthy, and his use of colorful and at times cryptic British slang can be hilarious. The score by Academy Award-winner Christopher Benstead (“Gravity”) is notably John Barry-like. But since when do one-percenters buy villas in Turkey? A final joke in the film about how tainted money inevitably ends up in the movie business is all too believable (and historical). The “Operation Fortune: Ruse de guerre” screenplay was co-written by Ritchie, Ivan Atkinson and Marn Davies, who also wrote Ritchie’s similarly complicated and pointless 2019 caper movie “The Gentlemen.” I fear the ruse may be on us.
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'OPERATION FORTUNE: RUSE DE GUERRE'
Grade: B-
Rated: R (for language and violence)
Running time: 1:54
How to watch: Now in theaters
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