Whatever you do, do not allow Guy Ritchie, the director of “Snatch,” “Sherlock Holmes,” "Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels” and now the mysteriously titled “Operation Fortune: Ruse de guerre,” to direct a Bond movie.
This mostly uninspired audition tape begins in London in murky-looking scenes featuring an operator named Nathan Jasmine (Cary Elwes in too much makeup) walking noisily to a meeting with some muckety muck named Norman (Eddie Marsan). Nathan is a kind of cross between M of the Bond films and Q. He’s putting together a team to retrieve some high-tech item worth billions that has been stolen by heavily armed thieves. The item is called “the Handle,” and it is the film’s MacGuffin, the thing that seems terribly important, but is mostly a distraction. Nathan actually tells Norman that he needs someone with “a unique set of skills.” No, it’s not Liam Neeson’s Bryan Mills. It’s Jason Statham’s Orson Fortune. Heard of him? Me neither.
Aiding Fortune are the beautiful, high-tech whiz Sarah Fidel (Aubrey Plaza) and super-warrior J.J. Davies (Bugzy Malone). They will first go to Madrid's airport to retrieve a hard-drive in a choreographed sequence involving tasers, punches and a download. Nathan then arranges a sting involving a billionaire arms dealer named Greg Simmonds (Hugh Grant, probably doing an imitation of someone), who takes a strong liking to pseudo-Bond girl Sarah. Nathan knows that Simmonds, who is throwing a party aboard his super-yacht in Cannes, is a huge fan of action movie star Danny Francesco (Josh Hartnett). In fact, Simmonds’ people once offered Danny $10 million to jump out of a cake at Simmonds’ birthday party (Danny declined). Orson blackmails Danny into helping him, using proof found by Sarah that Danny is having an affair with his sister-in-law. Simmonds has a collection of props used in Danny’s films, including a vintage Mustang that probably belongs to Ritchie himself.
