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Louise Thomas
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A mother sparked debate online after sharing a video of her date night with her 12-year-old son, teaching him how to treat women with respect.
In an Instagram video, the 31-year-old mother named Melissa Ann Marie said she was taking her boy on monthly “dates” to instill respect towards women, with this month’s date consisting of dinner, movie, and dessert. She captioned the video, “GRWM [Get ready with me] for a date with my boy.”
She explained to viewers what the mother-son date entailed.
“Basically you give them an allowance ($50) and they take you out on a date,” she said in the video. “The idea is you are prepping them for how to take a girl out on a date in the future so they aren’t completely lost when the time comes. So you help them along the way with how to plan and execute a date and you teach them basic etiquette and manners.”
Some people took to the comment section with various opinions, with some praising the mother-son practice date for finding a great way to spend “intentional time” with her son.
“Someone’s daughter is going to be very appreciative that you did this,” one person wrote.
“I love this!” another gushed. “He’s learning how to properly court while budgeting! So many grown men don’t know how to do this.”
“This is the sweetest thing I’ve ever seen,” someone else noted. “Your son will be such a good person because of this.”
Others thought it was “weird” of her to go on a date with her son.
“That’s really weird,” one user commented.
“Why do we call it a date,” another added. “It’s so nasty. Dating is for the purpose of marriage. It isn’t but sounds like grooming. Just say ‘I give him $50 and he gets to take me to do something fun that he chooses.’ Dating your kid. Yikes.”
“Gonna end up with a weird Freudian co-dependency doing this,” someone else noted. “A boy’s father should be teaching him how to treat women, with maybe some help from mom, but definitely not by repeatedly having him take his mommy out on dates.”
Some users were quick to point out that a lot of people taking issue with them having a sweet mother-son date were guilty of sexualizing the situation.
“People that are sexualizing this innocent interaction are showing their true colors,” one person wrote.
“People get upset when parents don’t teach their sons how to treat women but then also get upset when a mom teaches her son how to treat women,” another commented. “She’s obviously not sexualizing her kid. She’s teaching him how to be a thoughtful gentleman so he knows how to treat people later on. And if you’re tripping over her using the word ‘date,’ just remember kids have playdates all the time and y’all don’t consider that sexualized.”
In an interview with Today, the San Diego native noted that a lot of misunderstanding was sparked over her use of the word “date” in the video, but she stands by using the word.
“We are practicing for a date ... I want to raise him to be respectful,” she said, noting her desire to help him become the best version of himself. “We set up our kids for ... school and take them to sports — but what about social skills?”.
She was motivated to start these mother-son practice dates after he confided in her about all of the “dating” starting to happen at his middle school. She noted, “Kids their age don’t know what to do with their relationships.”
She told the outlet that so far they’ve gone on five practice dates, with past dates touching upo etiquette like not walking ahead and asking which seat she prefers when at the movies.
“We should be raising our boys to be strong men who respect women and treat them well,” says Melissa, noting that she does this on her own as a single mother. “If not me, then who is going to do it?”
