More than half of millennials - people aged 27 to 42 - say they have continued to sleep with their ex after a break-up as they believe they are sexually compatible.
People aged 18 to 24 say they would rather keep sleeping with an ex after a break-up because they 'don’t feel comfortable sharing kinks with a new partner'.
Sexual wellness brand www.lovehoney.com has taken a deep dive by surveying over 2,000 adults over the age of 18 to find out if being friends with an ex can actually work
Rachel Wright, a psychotherapist who specialises in modern relationships, said: “There are tons of benefits to being friends with an ex-partner, it's called de-escalating the relationship. In non-monogamy and even more specifically polyamory, it's super common for relationships to escalate and de-escalate, but in monogamous relationships – often, when the romantic and/or sexual piece 'ends,' so does the entire relationship. It does not have to be this way."
Lovehoney’s survey found that the majority of adults are actually choosing to try and maintain an amicable relationship with their ex-partners, with 69% saying they previously have. Men in particular, were found to be more likely to keep things friendly with an ex, with 71% saying they have, compared to only 57% of those identifying as non-binary and 68% of women.
The survey also revealed that those aged 45-54 were the most likely to be friends with an ex, with three in four (74%) admitting they’ve tried, whereas those aged 18-24 are the most likely to simply cut off their ex, with 42% saying they’ve remained hostile.
Over half of Lovehoney’s respondents (52%) said that the most common reason for them wanting to remain friends with their ex is due to them simply having had a friendship before anything became romantic. However, for almost three in 10 men (29%) the idea of cutting their ex off wasn’t appealing due to them wanting to transition into a friends-with-benefits type of relationship.
The survey revealed that not everyone can have a successful friendship with their ex, with 16% of respondents saying that the friendship didn’t work out. Lovehoney discovered that women were slightly more likely than other genders to consider the friendship a failure, with the most common reason being that the problems from their romance carried over into the friendship (7%).
Rachel Wright said: “If you are feeling the desire not to have this person in your life anymore, or you're feeling more hurt/pain/grief about having this person in your life versus not, it may be time to re-think any sort of relationship with them.
“Try to think about all relationships as relationships – friendships are relationships, partners are relationships, our family members we have relationships with – a relationship isn't synonymous with romance and sex. So, you get to decide what type of relationship you have with this person and IF you want them in your life, to begin with.
“If you've tried and aren't sure, take the 60 days I recommend post-break-up again and re-assess. And, if you are sure, let the person know. Don't keep them around just to ghost them or ignore them.”
