Molly-Mae Hague has stunned fans with her bravery and vulnerability as she broke down in tears in a candid video on Sunday.
The influencer, 23, admitted she’s struggling and overwhelmed by becoming a new mother and all the trials that come with it.
The Love Island star welcomed her baby girl with her boyfriend Tommy Fury at the end of January and has been sharing honest moments of her journey as a first-time mum ever since.
But on Sunday, Molly-Mae got more frank than ever before as she broke down on camera, admitting how hard the fourth trimester has been for her.
“I’m trying to be transparent and real about the last two months of my life but I’m also really scared to do that,” she said, sitting down in a quiet room to address fans.
Molly-Mae said she’d been trying to film a 30-40 minute video to answer all their questions and catch up and tell them how her first weeks of being a mum had been, but when she tried to talk, nothing was coming out.
“I feel like what I’m saying isn’t making sense and I just feel like my brain is jumble and just not my brain anymore. I just don’t feel myself,” she heartbreakingly admitted through streams of tears.
She told fans that she’s wants more than anything to get back to filming her YouTube videos but feels like she’s left it too long and now has too much to say and is “overwhelmed” by trying to offload so much information about how her life has been for the last two months.
Speaking between snivels, she said: “I’m so bunged up because I’m so run down and I can’t get myself better because, obviously, mum life.
“This is not the video I had in mind today, but I felt as though I have to post something.”
Molly-Mae told fans how when she thinks back to the first few weeks after having her daughter, she feels traumatised.
Confessing she felt dramatic and ridiculous saying it, she admitted: “I do have a bit of trauma. Traumatised is a really strong word but I am traumatised when I look back at the first few weeks when she came home. Because that first week was the maddest week of my entire life.
“I will never ever be able to explain what I went through in that first week.”
Molly-Mae, who appeared on camera in a simple white t-shirt and blue trousers, explained how she didn’t sleep for five days and nights after giving birth and was running entirely on adrenaline.
She inserted a picture of herself looking washout and exhausted for fans to see.
“I physically couldn’t eat. Every time I had the opportunity to go to sleep when my family were watching Bambi, I felt physically sick. Every time I tried to sleep, my body couldn’t understand that I was letting it rest.”
In the two weeks after giving birth, Molly-Mae experienced severe constipation, which she described as being harder than her labour.
“The constipation I experienced made me so, so, so unwell.”
The severe constipation left her in crippling pain. She recalled a particularly dark moment when she was doubled over in the shower, screaming for her sister to call an ambulance because she was in such agony.
“It had been about nine days and I hadn’t been for a poo. The feeling was taking over my whole body, I was literally going green. I physically couldn’t go. I was so messed up down there [from the vaginal birth] that I’d lost all ability to push.”
She added a comment on screen that she thinks this was one of the aftereffects of the epidural she had.
“That was something I was not prepared for. I was in a really bad way.”
She also told how she had suffered a severe urinary tract infection at the same time and was “an absolute mess”.
Tommy was forced to leave Molly and Bambi for Dubai in February, just days after they welcomed Bambi to the world, to fight Jake Paul in a much anticipated boxing match, with the brother of sporting legend Tyson Fury returning victorious.
Molly-Mae explained how she felt so grateful, happy and lucky that Tommy is now back and they’re parenting “as a team” after such a tough time.
“I feel like the day he got home from Saudi Arabia from the fight, it was almost, it sounds crazy, it was almost better than the day that Bambi was born,” she confessed.
“The day Bambi was born, it was the best day of my entire life, but I knew that our journey as a family hadn’t started yet because Tommy had to go away again.
“Tommy was gone and we weren’t going to be a family and we weren’t going to be a family until the fight was done and he got back. We had four weeks until he was going to be home. So, the first four weeks of Bambi’s life I really did to a lot of it by myself. I was home alone with her and I pushed a lot of people away, I don’t know why.
“All my friends and family wanted to be around and I just wanted Tommy or I didn’t want anyone. I pushed everyone away and looking back now, I think that was completely the wrong thing to do and I wish I hadn’t done that.”
The reality star told how she had been planning on filming a video answering fans’ questions and catching them up on the last two months.
One of the fan questions she had been trying to answer was “Has parenting come easily to you?”.
Molly lit up as she explained how she feels entering motherhood has been the most natural and easiest part of her postpartum journey.
“I don’t want to sound big-headed, but I think I’m a really good mum. It has come so naturally to me to be Bambi’s mum and I am good at it,” she smiled.
“I’m proud of the mum that I am to her and being her mum is not a challenge, I love being her mum and putting her before me in every single thing I do, her being my number one priority, my world revolving around her.
“That is all a dream and it comes to naturally to me. I will say that being a mum is the best thing that’s ever happened to me but it’s also the hardest thing that’s ever happened to me.”
She continued, explaining how nothing could have prepared her for how difficult motherhood was going to be.
“Wholeheartedly, I have found it really, really hard.
“The one word to describe the whole last two months would be overwhelming. I have been so overwhelmed every single day. You almost can’t believe the 360 that your life has taken.
“It’s a very, very hard thing to wrap your head around sometimes and it’s the biggest, biggest life change that nobody, no matter what they say, can prepare you for.
“People did say to me ‘your life’s never going to be your own again’ and ‘your selfish years are over,’ ‘it’s the hardest job in the world, prepare yourself’.
“I just didn’t listen. I just didn’t realise what they were talking about and I didn’t understand.”
Molly-Mae went on to thank fans for their support, giving a special shoutout to her fellow mums who she hoped would appreciate where she was coming from.
“I’m sure my other mums watching this video right now will hopefully be able to relate and understand why I am such a state, and why it’s the most overwhelming subject to talk about because you genuinely do have that many feelings and emotions and things to talk about.
“It’s almost like ‘where do I even begin?’”
She signed off saying she felt her brain going foggy again after a good patch of 10 minutes where she managed to get some words out and told fans how she was heading downstairs to take over looking after Bambi from Tommy who was going to London that night for filming the following day.
If you feel you need help with your mental health during and after pregnancy, talk to your midwife, health visitor or GP.
They'll be able to refer you to a specialist community perinatal mental health team, or a mother and baby mental health unit (MBU) if you need it. Perinatal means the time you are pregnant and up to 12 months after giving birth.
