When Donna Bissell watched her daughter walk across the stage at the Miss Black Country 2022 pageant, she felt like the proudest mum in the world. However she sat in the audience alone as Shannon McNally, 22, is an only child, despite Donna carrying three other babies.
The 49-year-old suffered two stillbirths and was forced to terminate another pregnancy. Despite losing Kirsty, Kelly and Jack, Donna was desperate to be a mum and never gave up on her dream. Now, to mark Baby Loss Awareness Weekend, Shannon tells the Mirror she's lucky to be alive, owing her life to her mum's determination.
After the trauma of losing three babies, Donna sought out specialist help and with the advice of a consultant she was able to find a solution and bear a child. Shannon, who is now competing in Miss Great Britain and could go on to be Miss World, now wants to raise awareness of the help on offer, and while understanding that it can't help everyone believes many could benefit from it.
Hairdresser Donna's painful motherhood began in 1993, when she was 20 years old, when she fell pregnant with her first child - Kirsty.
Although there were complications throughout the pregnancy, Donna had no idea that Kirsty wouldn't make it.
She explained: "I gave birth to a stillborn baby girl, it was hard. That was my first child. I didn't know the baby would be stillborn, I was in and out of the hospital, and then I went into an early labour at six months.
"It was told to have bed rest, it was just a case of wait and see. They told me that stillbirth was the worst case scenario, the only way I can describe it is like I was in a tunnel and things were going on around me, I was in shock really."
Donna had suffered from placenta previa, a condition where the opening of the uterus is covered which can have a devastating impact on both mother and baby.
Despite this, Donna recovered and was determined to try again for another baby and a few years later, in 1996, she was told that her next child, Kelly, was on the way.
Donna continued: "When I was 23 I got pregnant again, with Kelly. I was bleeding and I was told to rest, I thought I knew what would happen as I was going down the same road I had been down before.
"Basically, one day I had quite a lot of pain and after about four or five days, I went to the emergency department and they admitted me to hospital.
"From then I was given an internal examination and I was told the baby was fine, and the next day they sent me for a scan and then I was told that the baby had been dead for over a week.
"That was crushing to hear. For me, the second pregnancy was the most horrific one I've been through."
Donna's second pregnancy, and the ordeal that followed, left her an emotional wreck after suffering what she described as "trauma" at one of the most vulnerable times of her life.
She continued: "They took me into a ward where I was placed with patients that were dying of cancer. While I was there, I was told I'd have to give birth to the baby, another stillborn.
"I was disgusted - having a woman dying next to me and I'm giving birth to a dead baby, it was horrible for me and horrible for her.
"When the baby was born, one of the members of staff came along and said, 'your baby is dead, do you want to take a look?'
"They just put it in a sick bowl, then they took the baby away. You can't treat people like that, my thoughts were with the woman dying of cancer - those were her last few hours, she didn't need to experience that."
Certain something was wrong internally, Donna asked doctors for help but she was told the hospital wouldn't investigate until she had lost three children.
But again, she refused to give up and got a referral to Birmingham Women's Hospital where she spoke to a consultant in gynaecology.
Donna added: "I wanted to make sure I was well enough and healthy enough to have a child before progressing further, plus I was still grieving.
"I saw a consultant and she said she knew what was happening, she said my blood was clotting when I was pregnant. She said when I get pregnant at 14 weeks I'd have to inject a blood thinner."
Armed with advice on what to do, Donna was thrilled in 1999 when she discovered she was pregnant with her third child, Shannon, but she was still nervous about what could happen.
She continued: "I felt healthy until seven months and then I had a show of blood and I had to go straight to the hospital and went into labour.
"They gave me a steroid injection to try and delay labour, it worked for a time and then they gave me another injection because the contractions were coming.
"My belly was extended quite a bit and I didn't want Shannon to be distressed. The shot they gave me, because I was on blood thinners, it caused my heart to stop for about 30 seconds.
"They then had to reverse the injection, they gave me something else that got my heart going again.
"I was in labour for about 27 hours, and then Shannon was born premature - weighing 3lb12oz.
"When she was born, I was going into the tunnel again, thinking, 'what am I going to experience?' All I was waiting for was the cry, I just wanted to hear her cry when she was delivered so I knew she was healthy- but then I heard it, and I knew I had to be strong.
"She had to be rushed into an incubator. She was in there for four weeks, then she was allowed to come home."
Shannon was eventually allowed to come home and a year later she was fit and well, and soon after Donna discovered that she was pregnant again - with her fourth child, Jack.
As Shannon was born healthy, Donna thought the worst was behind her and she was more optimistic about her fourth pregnancy, but then she received a shocking blow.
Just a few months into the term, she was told by doctors that they would have to terminate the pregnancy as there was a problem with Jack.
Donna said: "We weren't trying, but I found out I was pregnant again in 2000. They had to surgically remove the child. I felt like I was being punished, I can't explain why. When you lose that many children you start to question, 'what have I done to deserve this?'
"I just think being a woman, often because it's a great responsibility having to carry that child, you just feel like physically your body has failed you.
"It's hard to overcome, it's something that you never forget. It gets a little bit easier but then you have the anniversary of their birthday or death day, and it's really hard.
"Having Shannon is a great accomplishment, she's the thing I'm most proud of. Because of what I've been through, I've taken things naturally and gone along with what Shannon's needs are.
"I may have still been grieving for those babies, but all of that went into Shannon's care - I put all my effort into what Shannon needed to have a normal stable life. It made me more supportive, I'd do anything for her."
Shannon was born fit and healthy on November 3, 1999, but as she grew Donna noticed that her daughter was struggling to walk, and when she was five years old she was diagnosed with cerebral palsy, which can develop due to birth complications.
Together, Shannon and Donna battled the condition and now the 22-year-old beauty therapist has been crowned Miss Black Country, and has used her condition to her advantage.
She continued: "I've spoken openly about my disability, that's how I won Miss Black Country, and because of winning that I'm in Miss GB.
"It's more about your platform and what you do for the people in your community these days. I've started my own charity called Invisibility, which is aimed at children and adults with invisible disabilities.
"There's also a catwalk and an evening-wear dress category. As I have cerebral palsy and it affects my walking and my balance, I've had my shoes adapted to cope with my disability."
Shannon said that she's inherited her mother's determination and it's helped her succeed in life, but she can't imagine the struggle that her mum must have gone through.
She continued: "It's very hard, I haven't got that initial bond with my brother and sisters like my mum would have done, but there's a lot of stigma about being an only child - people say you are spoiled.
"I know that people don't understand everyone's situation, but I'd love to have my brothers and sisters here. I try to keep them in my daily life still, me and my mum do a lot of memorial things and we try to keep them in our daily lives now.
"I don't have any children, I like to think that one day I'll have children, but with my experiences with disability and what happened to mum, I think, 'gosh, I hope that doesn't happen to me'.
"But at the same time, having such an inspirational mum - she's taught me that there is hope and you can get through the hard times.
"My mum is an inspiration, has been throughout my whole life. Without my mum I wouldn't know what to do with my life, she's been there through everything. Without her, I wouldn't be where I am today.
"The love I have for her is unconditional
"With cerebral palsy and being unable to walk, it brought us closer together. We're like mother and daughter, but best friends too.
"She's not being overprotective, but she's always been there if I need help with appointments, hospitals, or whatever. It's like we're best friends as well."
Shannon said that without her mother's determination and desire to succeed, she wouldn't be here today.
She added: "I would say, just through growing up with a mum like mine, you're going to have those moments where you think you don't want to try again, but mum's attitude was always so positive - with what happened to her she tried to get answers and achieve a situation that will benefit other women.
"Charities such as Sands, they offer a lot of support, so there is more out there now.
"Mum proves that there is hope, and you should never give up because a good thing could come out of it. It shows that she is an inspiration to other women as you can carry on.
"I owe my life to my mum's determination, we understand that won't be the case for every lady out there - some can't have children and that's how it is - but for me, if it wasn't for mum being very determined I wouldn't be here today.
"If women feel like something is wrong, go to your doctor and don't stop until you get the answers that you need - it could be something very simple that can be looked into."
Jen Coates, director of bereavement support at Sands, said: "The death of a baby has an immense impact on parents but the ripples of grief that touch other family members can sometimes be overlooked when parents are coping with their own emotions.
"It can be so hard to explain to their other child or children that their baby brother or sister will not be coming home.
"Young children may not understand the finality of death yet, but how their parents and relatives safely share their grief as they adjust to a baby’s death is so important in making it safe for children emotionally.
"When parents are coping with their own grief, it can be difficult to know how much to share with younger siblings.
"It can help to talk to young children when you are having 'a good day' and feel able to answer a child's questions on their level, this will change over time as their understanding changes.
"Sands is here to help and support anyone affected by pregnancy or baby loss to find the words to start conversations with their other children about their siblings, and to continue talking about them and remembering them with love together."
If you are dealing with sibling loss, stillbirth, or neonatal death, support is available from Sands here
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