A Grenfell Tower survivor who had a “miracle baby” after the disaster has described her boy - now almost five - as the shining light to have kept her strong amid half a decade of struggles since the fire.
Back in January 2018, the Mirror reported on Maryam Adam and her husband Abdulwahab‘s newborn son Mohammed.
Maryam was three months’ pregnant at the time of the fire, exactly five years ago today, and they feared the trauma could affect an already difficult pregnancy.
But in November 2017, to their joy, Mohammed came into the world a healthy boy just a month after the couple had been moved from a Premier Inn hotel where they had lived for four months after the disaster.
Maryam, 46, still struggles daily with what she witnessed and the friends she lost, and feels unsafe in their flat because it lies on the third floor. Evacuation is constantly on her mind.
She lives a life with Grenfell almost always present, wondering how she would escape if another fire broke out at their block in west Kensington, west London.
The one thing that takes her and 49-year-old Abdulwahab away from Grenfell, its memories and their lost friends, is Mohammed.
He is a bundle of energy and joy and does not yet understand the role he has played in keeping his parents going, and the significance of his birth.
He bounds across their living room, playing with his toys and telling us about his day at nursery.
Mohammed is perceptive. When he sees his mum’s eyes begin to fill up as she describes what haunts her about that fateful night, he is quickly by her side, asking if she is ok and reassuring her all will be fine.
He cuddles her and brings a tissue to wipe her eyes.
A cheeky Mohammed grin later and Maryam is smiling again - encapsulating the emotions of the past five years and the way in which her boy always pulls her back.
“When Mohammed is at school during the day, I think a lot. I think a lot about Grenfell, about the friends I lost, about whether I could have done more, about how we will escape from this third floor flat if there is a fire,” she tells us.
“Before Grenfell I liked my own company but now when I’m on my own I just think about Grenfell.
“But then when he is back from school it is all about him, Mohammed. It changes. He makes me smile again.
“I never thought he was going to survive.”
Somalia-born Maryam, who arrived in London 25 years ago, had suffered two miscarriages before having Mohammed.
Her 12-week scan was one day before the west London fire and she was told Mohammed might encounter problems when he was born.
“They said he was not ‘normal’ and that I might want to consider an abortion,” she told us.
“But there was no way I was going to, no matter whether he was born with problems or not.
“I was advised on how to bring up a child who would have difficulties. I told them I was having him, no matter what.”
But, against all the odds and as Maryam dealt with the trauma of the disaster, Mohammed was born a healthy child.
Maryam told us two months after his birth she thought he was the youngest survivor of the fire, how he was a “miracle” and how she will tell her son when he is older to “thank God” for his arrival.
“These five years have not gone quickly. They have gone slowly and have been very painful,” she said.
“Without Mohammed it would have been so much harder.”
Abdulwahab agrees, saying: “I am able to forget a lot of what I saw because of Mohammed. Obviously you can never forget everything, but having him has helped us cope with what happened.
“I don’t know where we would be without him.
“I find it very hard to think about that day, June 14 2017, but it’s burned into my insides.
“They say to forgive yourself. But I couldn’t do anything for the people I knew inside.”
“All of my friends died with their families,” Maryam added, struggling through tears.
Maryam said they have been on a waiting list for a more appropriate property for two years.
In the event of a fire at the current flat, where windows do not open fully, Maryam, who has severe mobility issues, has accepted her fate.
The parents have agreed that in the event of a fire, Abdulwahab grabs Mohammed and they flee.
They do not dare wait for Maryam and risk the fate of their boy.
During a flood in the basement of the block last year, it took Maryam 15 minutes to make her way out the building during the evacuation.
They know that might not be quick enough in the event of a fire.
“This is what we’ve had to agree to with each other. I take him and go,” said Abdulwahab, originally from Sudan.
“What way is that to live?”
“This is a lovely place but I cannot rest here,” said Maryam. “If the lift is not working then I cannot risk putting my family in danger.
“We just need somewhere with a ground floor, that’s it. There are many survivors still waiting for a home they feel safe in.
“At the start, the council said they would do everything for Grenfell survivors.
“But this is not somewhere we can call home. I don’t think they really care about our feelings and what we are going through still.”
Since the fire, Maryam said she now carries her mobile phone everywhere with her.
“If I had it with me at the time, when I was screaming for friends to get out, I could have sent them images of how bad it was from outside so they got out,” she says.
“I made a mistake. I cannot bear the pain.
“But people at the council and others involved did not do their jobs properly. Everyone at the inquiry is pointing the finger at each other.
“I just want them to say sorry, and that they promise this will never happen again. I want them to learn.
“Because if you escaped Grenfell, you’re not going to live normally, ever again.”
Maryam said she wants to thank all the volunteers from various groups who have helped, and continue to help, the bereaved and survivors.
“These people deserve credit, we would be nowhere without them.
“They have been with us all the way and they are not paid for this. Now that I feel a bit stronger, I want to thank every single person who has ever helped us. They are amazing,” she said.
A Royal Borough of Kensington and Chelsea council spokesperson said: “While many former residents of Grenfell Tower and Grenfell Walk are comfortable in their new homes, others have been unable to settle.
“We recognise the challenges that bereaved and survivors face as they look to the future and we recently agreed a new settled homes policy to provide additional support and we are committed to helping people find a home that feels like a home for life.
“The availability of accessible properties is a challenge across central London, but we work with families to ensure that their homes are adapted to meet their specific needs. We are in regular contact and when a property which meets a resident’s requirements is available, we will offer it to them immediately.”
