I won’t beat around the bush (although I will suggest some devices that can do that for you very efficiently): Valentine’s Day is coming up, so you may well be looking for some saucy gift suggestions for your other half.
As an award-winning expert who’s worked in the sexual wellbeing and pleasure sector for more than two decades, I’ve trialled thousands of vibrators and stimulators, lotions and potions, and a whole A-Z of BDSM bits and bobs. In fact, I have an entire loft room in my house dedicated to storing all my X-rated testers, samples and prototypes. I’m a trustworthy source when it comes to sauciness, so here are my top Valentine’s gift suggestions, whether mild or wild – all tried and tested. From a turmeric latte massage bar to a crotchless teddy, let’s get stuck in.
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The best sex toys and gifts for Valentine’s Day
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Sex toys
Lelo Sona 3 Cruise sonic clitoral massager
£134.99 at LoveHoney £139 at LeloLelo is known for making ultra-chic, top-quality products that pack in a lorry load of features. Like previous versions, this latest edition of their Sona Cruise model is waterproof, rechargeable and uses pulsing sonic waves – rather than vibrations – to stimulate the clitoris. It retains the “Cruise Control” function, too, which holds back 20% of the device’s power during normal use, unleashing it only when you press hard against your body for an extra shot of oomph.
So, what’s changed? Lelo has introduced SmoothRise technology, which sees the Sona 3 Cruise glide fluidly between its 12 intensity settings rather than abruptly change gear in a way that jolts you out of your reverie. And you can now pilot the toy via an app as well, with two new app-only patterns: “Finish Me Off” gradually builds to an almost agonisingly intense climax, while “Out Of Control” provides unpredictable speed shifts to prevent playtime becoming overfamiliar.
Vacation Vibes the Aspen G-spot vibrator
£70 at AnthropologieFemale-founded Aussie brand Vacation Vibes makes toys intended to channel the blissful escapism of a holiday, without the hassle of lost luggage or sunburn. They’re named after popular destinations – the Amalfi, the Miami, the Saint-Tropez – and come packaged in very giftable picture-postcard boxes.
Like the ski resort from which it takes its inspiration, the Aspen features a crisp, white peak, shaped to stimulate the G-area, which is 1-3 inches up on the front vaginal wall. A lot of G-spot probes are rigid and hard, to facilitate the firm pressure that this part of the body tends to respond well to, but that also means they can poke and prod uncomfortably. The Aspen has lots of flex, meaning you can “stir” it inside yourself, creating an orgasmic feeling to (al)pine for.
Je Joue ILY Pebble vibrator
£31.99 at Je Joue £45.28 at AmazonJe Joue’s ILY range is aimed at beginner sex-toy users, so if you and your partner are only just starting to dip your toe into the world of vibrators, this is a good one. It’s delightfully soft and squishy – like a mochi – with a versatile shape that can be laid flat against the skin, held like a pen for pinpoint stimulation, or used lengthways on its side (which feels great nestled between the labia with the legs closed – again, a nice, gentle, introductory position for beginners). It’s rechargeable; has three speeds and seven patterns; and emits much more rumbly, low-frequency vibrations than a lot of other toys of this style and size. These types of vibes travel deeper into the body, awakening more nerve endings, and giving a more enveloping sense of arousal.
Top tip: I found that after a while of holding it, the Pebble started to make my fingers feel a bit overly buzzy and fuzzy. Experiment with sitting or laying on it if your hand starts getting the judders.
Lovense Lover Set
£199 at LovenseWith £499’s worth of goodies for £199, this set offers brilliant bang for your buck, although you will have to invest a little time to set up and learn how the most techie toys in the box work. The kit contains a stretchy, textured masturbation sleeve, a feather tickler, a satin blindfold and a pair of wrist cuffs. However, the big-ticket items here are the Lush 4 and Gush 2: respectively, a wearable egg-shaped G-spot vibrator for her, and a hands-free vibrating penis massager for him. Both can be remotely controlled from anywhere via the Lovense app, making them a boon for couples who live apart or frequently travel separately.
The list of things these toys can do is so lengthy that Tolstoy would raise his eyebrows at it. The Gush 2 has a stamina training option to help you edge your way to sustaining longer erections. You can even programme it to react along as you play video games. The Lush 4 can be set to react to music or voice commands; with a 36dB buzz, it’s quiet; and just five minutes of charge gives you an hour of play, which is frankly outstanding. With so much to explore, the Lovense set will keep you contentedly busy for ages.
Ann Summers heart glitter dildo
£25 at Ann Summers £25 at SuperdrugThe adult toy industry’s movement away from products that resemble genitalia towards more sculptural, less screamingly explicit gadgets has largely been heralded as a positive evolution. However, it means that the people who actively like realistic, anatomical toys can feel ostracised. There’s nothing regressive or gross about enjoying toys that look like actual penises, vulvas or bums rather than amorphous orbs.
For special FX-level convincing penis toys in a host of skin tones, some of which feature sliding skin for a true-to-life flesh feel, check out Realdick. Alternatively, if you’re after a dildo with a realistic shape but a fun finish, this firm yet flexible transparent Ann Summers offering contains a sprinkling of heart-shaped glittery confetti. The suction cup at the base allows it to be attached to surfaces such as tiled bathroom walls, mirrors or wooden chairs.
Chakrubs rose quartz dildo
£118 at Free People £130 at SheSpotCrafted from crystals and mineraloids, Chakrubs tools are truly stunning, and would make an impeccably classy present. They look like precious ancient temple artefacts that you might see in the British Museum.
Despite their gorgeousness, I harboured stone-cold cynicism towards crystalline toys for a long time. I worried certain types might be porous, thus able to harbour bacteria that may render them unsafe for intimate use. Additionally, some crystal probes were marketed alongside claims that their “spiritual vibrations” could “heal sexual trauma”, which I feared could lead to the manipulation or endangerment of survivors of sexual assault or anguish.
Chakrubs met my concerns with reasonable answers. “Our researchers from the Gemological Institute of America inform us that rose quartz, clear quartz and amethyst are non-porous, while other crystals may be porous or have ‘closed porosity’, meaning that pores lie on the surface of the stone where any bacteria within them can be hygienically washed away, rather than seeping deeper towards the centre,” it says. In addition, it states that the company “has never claimed that crystals themselves heal trauma or act as a cure”. Chakrubs do posit that personally meaningful sexual rituals and meditative experiences with beautiful objects can prove beneficial to some individuals. Fair enough. Rock on.
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Scents, lubes and lustful liquids
Twinkle Tongue saliva enhancer gel
$35.88 (about £26.20) at Twinkle TongueTasting like an intensely sour cherry smoothie, Twinkle Tongue claims to boost saliva flow by up to eight times. Its key ingredients include tangy citrus extracts and tingle-inducing Spilanthes flower (also used in Flintts Mints oral dryness treatments – as I featured in my guide to spicing up your sex life). Within seconds of swishing a sip of the gel around my mouth, I was dribbling as though Pavlov was playing a bell symphony right there in my bedroom. I’m not sure how I can put this politely, but this stuff is awesome.
Borntostandout Cuvée Skin eau de toilette, 100ml
£163.40 at 50 mlSeoul-based gender-neutral perfume house Borntostandout makes heady sex-inspired fragrances, with names such as Fig Porn, Drunk Lovers and Filthy Musk. Its recently released Eau Intimé collection comprises a suite of practically pornographic scents that might be the brand’s sauciest yet. Cuvée Skin was blended to smell like champagne spilled on nude flesh. Warm Air draws from the scent of a couple’s body heat as they move in sync. Finally, Musc X – a moniker that suggests an unfortunately sour whiff of Elon for me, even though the perfume itself smells amazing – represents the aftermath: the lingering tones of a lover on clothes and sheets after their departure. These are perfumes that enter through the nose but travel straight to the groin. Wear if you dare.
Lush Sex Bomb and Turmeric Latte massage bars
£10 at LushMassage without mess. Warm one of Lush’s bars between your palms, then slide it over your beloved’s bod to slick them with Fair Trade cocoa and shea butters. If you can’t stand the oily rings massage oil bottles inevitably leave on your bedside cabinet or the oiliness of your sheets post-rub down, these solid slabs of slipperiness are for you. The Sex Bomb scent is a classic, woozy with jasmine and ylang-ylang, but my current favourite is Turmeric Latte, redolent of tonka bean, vanilla and spice. Grab a £3 tin to sling your bar in for storage and travel.
Eris Parfums Delta of Venus eau de parfum, 50ml
£145 at BootsThis perfume borrows its name from a book of erotic short stories authored by Anaïs Nin in the 1940s, for a private client she referred to only as “Collector”. It’s certainly a scent worth adding to your own collection, or that of your sweetheart, particularly if you’re seeking something tropical and fruity yet strictly for grownups. The key note is guava, surrounded by lush greenery, and it’s apparently inspired by Eve sinking her teeth into forbidden fruit amid the leaves and vines of the Garden of Eden. Imagine being French-kissed with a mouth full of exotic juice, in a naked sauna held within a greenhouse – a spritz of this will take you there.
Slyde Body Intimacy Elixir and luxury oil set, 30ml each
£49.95 at SheSpotSlyde’s water-based, condom-friendly Intimacy Elixir – AKA lube – is noteworthy for how natural it appears. Odourless and scent-free, it starts with the consistency of egg whites, forming fine strings and strands if you pinch it between your fingers: a good sign that it has sufficient viscosity to stay wherever you want to put it, yet it’s not sticky at all. It comes in a stylish, dainty glass bottle that you could confidently display on your nightstand, without fearing that it will announce itself as sex goo.
It’s intended to be used in small amounts, so if you require lashings of lubrication, this probably isn’t for you. Similarly, the massage oil won’t last long if you’re ladling it on to your lover’s back. Infused with peppermint, lavender and lime, it works best stroked on to pulse points, or for “micro massage”: focus on caressing your partner’s inner wrists, hands, or reflex points on the ears, and see how honing attention on one tiny area can help you tune in to sensations.
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Jewellery that speaks your love language
Crave Vesper 2 rose gold vibrator necklace
£185 at Coco de MerA chain that truly knows how to provoke a reaction. This 26in-long pendant looks like a modern, minimalist design, but its ostensible simplicity hides a secret: it’s actually an ultra-slimline steel vibrator, with three intensity options and a wave mode. It’s USB rechargeable and can safely be submerged in the bath or shower. A real pleasure treasure.
Studiocult heart-shaped carabiner clip earring
£27 at StudiocultOver the decades, wearing a carabiner clip has become a subtle signifier of your identity as a lesbian or WLW (Woman who Loves Women).
Some folks feel that “lesbians = practical and masc” is an outdated stereotype. Others view carabiners as a fun, harmless and handy sign of sapphism, and a form of self-expression. This heart-shaped earring fuses a girly aesthetic with a nod to LGBTQ+ history, and is also lightweight and comfy to wear while boasting a quality build.
Lily & Roo Special Date Necklace
From £79 at Not on the High Street £99 at Lily & RooSet a birthstone of your choice within this dinky calendar necklace. Lily & Roo’s social media feed is packed with wholesome photos of customers who have had pendants made to commemorate their children’s birthdays or the day of their wedding. However, there’s nothing stopping you from commissioning a piece to celebrate a dirty weekend away, the date you consummated your union, or the night you went to fetish club Torture Garden for the first time.
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Build your own bunch of ‘roses’
Bondara Kiss From A Rose ball gag
£26.99 at BondaraSay it with flowers. Or rather, prevent them from saying it with flowers. This gag is sized to be comfortable inside the mouth, and the smooth silicone means it won’t knock against teeth. It’s vented, with a hole running through the centre to make breathing easier, but you should also ensure you and your playmate agree a non-verbal “safe sign” together – three quick taps on a nearby surface; ringing a bell; or squeezing a squeaky toy, say – before you experiment with any type of gag, as the person wearing it won’t be able to clearly pronounce a safe word.
The first few times you try out this gag, the wearer might feel reassured if the vegan leather strap is fastened loosely enough (or left unbuckled) so that they can spit the toy out should they wish. There’s no need to rush, and BDSM is all about respect – to submissives as well as dominants.
Satisfyer 2 Pro Modern Blossom clitoral stimulator
£33.95 at Satisfyer £17.99 at AmazonThe original Rose Toy – an air-pulse clitoral stimulator shaped like a flower bud – was a massive viral hit on TikTok. The pioneering model wasn’t manufactured by a recognised brand, but it proved immensely popular for its sweet, unobtrusive look, and its ability to cause climaxes with similar speed and reliability as a toaster popping out hot crumpets. The Rose spawned whole fields of floral imitations, and now, companies have also started adding their own innovations to differentiate themselves.
Satisfyer’s waterproof take comes with two interchangeable caps that fit on the top: one for the standard air-pulse suction feeling you might well already know and love, while the second gives a sensation they call “Liquid Air”, which mimics the feeling of surging pulses of water. With an impressive 15-year guarantee and 11 speeds and patterns, everything will be coming up roses.
Marvis Kissing Rose toothpaste
£8.95 at the Grooming Clinic £6.68 at AmazonCuraprox Love Edition toothbrushes
£11.50 at Notino £12.29 at AmazonThis charming tube of Bulgarian rose and fresh mint flavoured paste looks like it’s come straight out of Phileas Fogg’s washbag. It makes snogging taste like a smooch with the belle of the Bridgerton ball. If you’d like to formally invite a lover to spend the evening at your place, pair with a Curaprox brush set; the toothbrush heads form a heart when placed side by side.
The Natural Love Company Litsea glass flower butt plug
£35 at Plastic FreedomThis plug is an ideal size for beginners to anal activities, yet still offers a pleasing snugness for more seasoned posterior players. It can be immersed in warm or cold water to change its temperature, and it’s a cinch to clean as thoroughly as one would wish for.
Bloom & Wild the Cathy Bouquet
£39 at Bloom & WildB Corp Bloom & Wild has avoided incorporating red roses in its Valentine’s bouquets since 2021. It says that too many unsold stems end up being trashed, so in its effort to reduce waste – and promote more considered, original blooms – this year B&W has produced a less Valentine’s-centric arrangement called the Cathy, named after the protagonist in Wuthering Heights and created to celebrate Emerald Fennell’s adaptation. It sports antique pink and burning orange roses, along with the type of wild flora and foliage you might find out on the wily, windy moors.
Piper-Heidsieck rosé sauvage champagne, 75cl
£55.25 at The Whisky Exchange £52.95 at Hard to Find WhiskyFour Roses small batch bourbon with rose-shaped ice moulds
£41.99 at Selfridges £36.99 at AmazonCygnet Infinity alcohol-free botanical spirit
£31.99 at Drink Supermarket £32 at Master of MaltChampagne is to Valentine’s Day what mulled wine is to Christmas, and Piper-Heidsieck’s rosé blend undercuts its blood orangey sweetness with teasing hints of smoke and liquorice. If bubbly isn’t your thing, this Four Roses bourbon set comes with rose-shaped ice moulds to add an extra romantic touch.
Not drinking? Try the brand-new rose-tinged, 0% adaptogenic botanical Infinity spirit from luxury gin distiller Cygnet. It’s made with copious infusions, including manuka honey, bee pollen, lion’s mane mushrooms and reputed aphrodisiac Siberian ginseng. Sipped neat or with soda or tonic, it has an understated, peppery tangerine vibe.
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Lingerie and hosiery
Thistle and Spire Chanterelle bodysuit
£120 at RevolveAbout a decade ago so many sex specialists were wearing Thistle and Spire’s snake-patterned Medusa bodysuit – myself included – that when we got together, we resembled Indiana Jones’s worst nightmare. But there were solid reasons why those in the know bought into this Brooklyn indie brand early. For starters, the embroidery is both sumptuous and unusual, with motifs such as tentacles, dragons, and cathedral architecture. Where nude mesh is involved, it’s available in a range of skin tones, from milky to melanated. The size range is expansive; models are diverse; and the brand has recently diversified into making sexy “Panties for Packages” for guys and people with penises.
The Chanterelle body features the glittering gills of bronze and navy mushrooms, and – if you look closely – pairs of legs. It’s magic.
Clipher clip-off thongs
£10 at ClipherThese thongs have a pair of heart-shaped clips on the waistband to make them easier to remove. If you’re new to striptease, put on some mood music and have your partner sit on the duvet, while you stand outside the room. Take off your garments in your own time – struggling, straining and wobbling however much you need to, and only opening the door a tiny bit to teasingly drop your shed clothing piece by piece. Only once you’re naked, composed, and have struck a pose, open the door fully. You’ve stripped. You’ve teased. You haven’t tripped over your own gusset and face-planted in front of your amoré.
Bluebella Gia Heart lingerie range
From £18 at BluebellaBluebella has more certified bangers in its lingerie category right now than a steel drum ensemble. I have my eye on its polka dot longline bra (£55), to don as outerwear beneath a sharp suit, and its Marabel collection (from £20) – with wavy, oceanic plant-esque lace – looks significantly more expensive than it is. Bluebella’s Gia range is perfect for Valentine’s Day, available in black and deep pink, with bold heart shapes that are graphic according to at least two definitions of the word.
Ann Summers Queen Of Hearts crotchless teddy
£30 at Next £30 at Ann SummersCrotchless underwear gives some people the ick, but I’m here to fight for its corner. If you feel sexier and happier in yourself wearing a piece of frilly lingerie that accentuates the parts of your body you love while skimming over the rest, then it being crotchless will mean you can keep it on on those not-so-self-assured nights.
In addition, if you have in-growing pubic hairs, shaving rash or stubble trouble, well-chosen crotchless knickers can hide all that in a flash. See? More practical than you thought.
Betty Statement tights
£24 at BettyKnitted from recycled yarn, Betty tights all come with a 30-day anti-run guarantee: if they ladder within a month of purchase, the brand will replace them free of charge.
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Miscellaneous marvellousness
Personalised heart-shaped vintage-style cake
From £30.99 at Cake BoxPretty, retro iced cakes are all the rage right now. Cake Box’s egg-free victoria or chocolate sponge is light on the palate and the wallet compared with a lot of others out there. It’s finished with glossy glace cherries, and can be iced with a message of your choice – make it as nice or as naughty as you please. There’s space on a 6in cake to fit 10 characters, and enough dessert to feed four – ideal for the polyamorous, or for a couple to enjoy the night before and the morning after.
Sponsor a gay sheep
From £31.20 at Rainbow WoolAccording to some sources, about one in 12 sheep tends towards trying to mate with the same sex – and, sadly, rams that aren’t useful for breeding are often sent to slaughter by the agricultural industry. Rainbow Wool rescues gay sheep in Germany, and uses their sheared wool to create clothing that’s then sold to raise funds for queer rights charities. In November, Rainbow Wool paired with gay hook up and social app Grindr to produce a fabulous 37-piece “I Wool Survive” fashion collection – but the pieces are one-offs that will be auctioned to the highest bidders. More accessible, and a witty gift, is a “sponsorsheep” of a member of the flock. For the baaaaa-dass in your life.
National Art Pass
From £39.75 at Art FundWandering through art galleries is arguably the most socially acceptable way to look at pictures of naked people. National Art Passes get you free and reduced-price entry to hundreds of museums, exhibitions and historic spots all over the UK, including the Museum of Liverpool, the Turner Contemporary in Margate, and the Fitzwilliam Museum in Cambridge. Go and gaze hand in hand at Hokusai’s octopussy-themed masterpiece The Dream of the Fisherman’s Wife in the British Museum, Robert Mapplethorpe’s photographic documentations of the 1970s gay sado-masochism scene at the Tate Modern, or Sophie Ryder’s Sitting at Yorkshire Sculpture Park: a half woman, half-hare hybrid, awaiting her Minotaur lover. Then head home to create your own artistic interpretations.
For more, read the best vibrators, tested and 26 easy ways to spice up your love life
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Alix Fox is an award-winning writer and broadcaster specialising in sexual wellbeing and culture, with 20 years of experience in receiving dick pics sent not to titillate, but because the worried texter wants an informed opinion on a weird lump/rash/wart. She’s writing her first book, Gripped – a deep dive into the most curious and compelling realms of sex and love that one early reader described as a “horny Jon Ronson”. She legitimately has to rent a storage unit to house her collection of erotic apparatus. What’s NSFW for you is probably just W for Alix
