PHILADELPHIA — You know P.J. Tucker. If you’ve played any basketball in your life, you’ve played against P.J. Tucker, and you likely hated it. Or you’ve played with P.J. Tucker, and you loved it. P.J. Tucker is 37, which makes him an old man by NBA standards, and more to the point, P.J. Tucker has an old man’s game, in the best and the most infuriating ways possible. And, when he decided to sign with the 76ers this offseason, the most lucrative way possible.
P.J. Tucker is 6-foot-5 and stumpy and balding. P.J. Tucker doesn’t jump all that high, which means that P.J. Tucker rarely dunks, if he dunks at all. P.J. Tucker sticks his elbow in your side and his butt in your crotch just for the sake of better rebounding position — subtle and sneaky, so you don’t know he’s doing it until you wince from the surprise and the quick stab of pain. P.J. Tucker grabs the loose ball from the faster player and the contested rebound from the taller player and takes and frequently makes open shots that leave you wondering how he got that open in the first place.
P.J. Tucker is Woody Harrelson rolling up to the playground in "White Men Can’t Jump" and the guy who has played lunch-break pickup at the Palestra for 40 years. P.J. Tucker is every meme of a chubby, middle-aged guy throwing no-look, backdoor passes and burrowing into the lane for layups against younger, flashier, gobsmacked opponents. P.J. Tucker is the guy you didn’t know you wanted or needed on your team until he beats your team.
