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The Guardian - AU
The Guardian - AU
Comment
Van Badham

Middle-aged men are among society’s loneliest people – what does that say about the patriarchy?

Man sitting up in bed in the early morning.
‘Creating better infrastructure for heterosexual male socialisation is a public health necessity,’ writes Van Badham Photograph: Suspended Image/Getty Images

I’m unsure how this particular column got the job of public advocacy for male problems, but – relax, guys – I’m up for it. Think of it as the Mirror Universe version of when Tony Abbott appointed himself Minister for Women, except this time a feminist champions men’s social health and, you know, actually likes you.

This week, the male friendship recession is our subject of shared concern. The Guardian reported a month ago concerning data from (where else?) America, which spoke to an observable decline in the prevalence of male friendship, with some notable demographic implications.

Data from the Survey Center on American Life revealed 15% of men said they didn’t have “close friends” in 2021, compared with only 3% in 1990 while those reporting 10 or more close friends had decreased from 33% to 13% during the same period.

Acknowledging that these figures were skewed by more male loneliness among heterosexual men than their gay brothers, the Guardian interviewed men working to facilitate male friendship outside the “third spaces” of congregation, activity and entertainment outside the home and work that queer male communities built for themselves.

Creating better infrastructure for heterosexual male socialisation is a public health necessity, given that the isolation and loneliness reported in the wake of shrinking friendship networks has dire health implications. You can trust studies that repeatedly demonstrate that “those who experience social deficits, including isolation, loneliness, and poor-quality relationships, are more likely to die earlier, regardless of the cause of death”, or you can remember how mad we all went during Covid lockdowns and just imagine that being the rest of your life.

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