Out on the football field, our AFL stars are physical, dominant and aggressive.
That's what the sport demands and that's what the fans see, but players want viewers, especially men, to know there is much more than what they see from the stands and on television.
"The way I perform on the field each and every week is very different to the way that I'm off the field," Brisbane Lions co-captain Harris Andrews says.
"The thing I try to prove to a lot of people that watch me on the weekends is during the week I'm not like that ... I'm caring. I'm vulnerable."
The premiership captain is part of a panel, which includes Carlton ruck Marc Pittonet, Man Cave chief executive Ben Vasiliou and Movember research director Zac Seidler, promoting change at a family violence prevention forum convened by Chief Justice William Alstergren in Melbourne on Friday.
Facilitated by Victorian Multicultural Commissioner Tarang Chawla, the event and panel aim to spotlight how men can take accountability and play their part in motivating positive change.
For Mr Chawla, the problem stems from girls being blamed for the pain of men and boys, boys treating relationships as a game, and being told women ruin everything.
That's the content boys were seeing when they scrolled on their phones in their bedrooms and during their lunch breaks, and he said the incoming under-16s social media ban would not change that.
As a boy, Carlton star Pittonet grew up wanting to be a footballer, emulating the actions of his sporting heroes.
"It's really understanding that what people try to emulate when they're at school age isn't just what you do on field, but off the field as well," he said.
Showing emotion and vulnerability off the field and setting the standard on what healthy relationships with women looked like was important to changing the culture, he said.
While big influencers played an important role, men's mental health advocate Mr Vasiliou said micro-sphere role models - dads, brothers, uncles, coaches, teachers and GPs - played an equally important role in showing boys what it looked like to be a modern-day man.
"These men at the front line ... can have the most impact on a boy's trajectory towards how they treat women," Mr Vasiliou said.
Global research has shown men's views of gender stereotypes, equality and being a protector and provider were consistently more equitable compared to what they thought society wanted them to be, clinical psychologist Dr Seidler said.
"We know what it means to be a good man," he said.
But the policing and pressure and constant feeling of being watched pushed boys and men to enact behaviour at odds with what they knew was right.
At least 74 women have been killed in domestic violence attacks in Australia so far in 2025.
1800 RESPECT (1800 737 732)
Lifeline 13 11 14
Men's Referral Service 1300 766 491
National Sexual Abuse and Redress Support Service 1800 211 028
