I like nothing better than a good obituary and last week the Times carried an absolute belter devoted to Francis Salemme, a mafioso boss, who had the wonderful nickname “Cadillac Frank”. Among his associates and family were Stephen “the Rifleman” Flemmi, Frank “Frankie Boy” Salemme and Robert “the Cigar” DeLuca.
It reminded me of one of the best lines ever written. It was in a biography of Al Capone and the time he was banged up. The governor, clearly a tolerant type, allowed Capone to form a band. And the line? “Sitting in on drums was Machine Gun Kelly.” Perfect. The mob does have the best nicknames.
I’m pleased to see that Mark Serwotka, general secretary of the Public and Commercial Services union, is a belt and braces sort of bloke. Last week, he spoke thus: “I think it is only a matter of time before all the unions recognise that the government is the cause of these disputes so we will work closer together and I think we will see action that is coordinated and synchronised and escalating.” Talk about a united front.
I have a colleague who sent me a delighted email recently. And the source of his delight? He’d just heard a BBC announcer use the word “drive” rather than “driveway”. “Bloody Americanism,” he chuntered in a good-hearted way. My pet hates at the moment are “bathtub”, “meet with” and “talk with”.
Reader Peter Gould sent me the following: “I have just read this in an article headed ‘Accelerating digital agility sensing as a response to INFINITE CUSTOMER EXPERIENCES’. A partner and ‘digital anthropologist’ in Deloitte Digital Practice casts these pearls of wisdom before us: ‘We believe the fastest way to respond to customer experience is to have product stewards own market sentiment of audience groups that is embedded in a digital product.’ I am losing the will to live.” I know that feeling.
Email jonathan.bouquet@theobserver.co.uk
Jonathan Bouquet is an Observer columnist
