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The Guardian - UK
The Guardian - UK
Entertainment
Stuart Heritage

‘Matthew Perry took me to AA’ – why saving people mattered more to the star than Friends

‘So caring and giving and wise’ … Matthew Perry.
‘So caring and giving and wise’ … Matthew Perry. Photograph: Georgie Gillard/ANL/Shutterstock

It makes perfect sense that all of Matthew Perry’s obituaries primarily focused on Friends. After all, not only was Friends one of the biggest, and best-enduring, sitcoms of all time, but Perry was its most distinctive star. You can quite easily draw a line separating the cadences of mainstream comic performances before and after Chandler Bing.

However, despite this and his other standout screen work – if there was ever time for a cultural reappraisal of his wonderful short-lived 2011 sitcom Mr Sunshine, this has to be it – the last 24 hours have seen a groundswell of recognition for Perry’s other accomplishments. A tract of text has been shared and reshared across the internet countless times, in which he details how he would like to be remembered after his death.

“The best thing about me is that if an alcoholic or drug addict comes up to me and says ‘Will you help me?’ I will always say ‘Yes, I know how to do that. I will do that for you, even if I can’t always do it for myself.’ So I do that, wherever I can. In groups, or one on one,” he wrote. “And I created the Perry House in Malibu, a sober-living facility for men … When I die, as far as my so-called accomplishments go, it would be nice if Friends were listed far behind the things I did to try and help other people.”

The Perry House was a 5,500 sq ft beachfront compound in Malibu where Perry formerly lived. When he decided to relocate in 2013, he teamed up with addiction specialist Earl Hightower and turned the house into a residential sober-living centre, where men with addiction issues could attend meditation programmes and a 12-step workshop. Perry sold the house two years later, stating, “It was too expensive to run and the business didn’t really work.” At the time, he said he wanted to refocus the business on smaller, less showy premises closer to the centre of Los Angeles, although it’s unclear whether he achieved this aim. Nevertheless, the idea of the Perry House was so noble that, in 2013, he received a Champion of Recovery award from the White House Office of National Drug Control Policy.

In addition to the house, Perry was also a vocal supporter of the National Association of Drug Court Professionals (now All Rise), an advocacy organisation for courts that take a public health approach to criminal offenders with substance abuse issues. And now, since his death, others have come forward to reveal how Perry personally reached out to help them in times of crisis.

Perry’s former Friends co-star Hank Azaria is one of them. In a video published on his Instagram page, Azaria, now better known for his work on The Simpsons, explained how Perry had helped him to get sober. “I’m a sober guy for 17 years,” he said. “I want to say that the night I went into AA Matthew brought me in. The whole first year I was sober, we went to meetings together. As a sober person he was so caring and giving and wise and he totally helped me get sober. I really wish he could have found it in himself to stay with the sober life more consistently.”

The acts of kindness stretch beyond recovery, too. In 2021, the much-touted Friends reunion took place against the backdrop of Covid. Perry was the only one of the cast who managed to combine the two, rushing out a range of Friends-themed merchandise to raise money for the World Health Organization’s Covid relief efforts. One of them read: “Could this BE any more of a T-shirt?” Another read: “Could I BE any more vaccinated?” The move inspired a wave of condemnation from anti-vaxxers (some of whom have spent the past 24 hours trying to claim that Perry was killed by his Covid vaccine). But he did it anyway.

Such was the sheer comic force of Chandler Bing that it overshadowed everything else in Perry’s life. His childhood friendship with Justin Trudeau. His obsessive Batman fixation. The anecdote he once told on television about getting his Bluetooth connections mixed up and accidentally blasting his entire neighbourhood with loud pornography audio. But as the next few days and weeks progress, expect to hear more stories about his kindness, support and activism, because it feels like Hank Azaria is just the tip of the iceberg. Maybe he will be remembered for the things he did to help other people after all.

• In the UK, Action on Addiction is available on 0300 330 0659. In the US, call or text SAMHSA’s National Helpline on 988. In Australia, the Opioid Treatment Line is at 1800 642 428 or call the National Alcohol and Other Drug Hotline on 1800 250 015.

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