My close non-football-loving friends consistently reference the iconic Mitchell and Webb sketch from 2008 that parodied the overwhelming nature of the sport taking over TV.
"Football, football, football" cried Mitchell, "look at it, IT MOVES!" as extreme close-ups of the ball heighten the comedy. Nearly 15 years later, the sketch still resonates with its sharp use of satire. I thought of this as the even more facial Gianni Infantino took the stage for his second press conference of the FIFA World Cup in Qatar.
Nothing was ever going to beat the first on the eve of the tournament which would not look out of place on Saturday Night Live. But this one heralded a more chilling and impactful effect for the growing physical demands on elite players.
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Infantino confirmed the expansion of the FIFA Club World Cup in 2025 which will see the tournament include 32 teams. "The 32-team tournament will go ahead, making it like a World Cup," Infantino cheered.
Chelsea, the current holders, are likely to be included in this tournament due to their record in Europe across the past five years, winning both the Europa and Champions League.
It feels highly ironic that quotes have emerged from one Chelsea player whose World Cup journey has recently ended in Mateo Kovacic. The midfielder played a huge role in Croatia's run to the semi-final in Qatar before losing to Argentina.
"We are exhausted," Kovacic explained. "Many of us will be exhausted when we come back to our clubs but this is what we love and we will come back, rest and then focus on the next six months for our clubs."
The nature of football in the context of this season means that in England, the Premier League restarts on Boxing Day with Chelsea back a day later against Bournemouth, just over a week since the World Cup final. There are few extended breaks to be found with a flurry of players quickly returning to Cobham after international disappointment and intense fixtures.
Kovacic as a senior figure in Chelsea's current squad will likely play a large part in Graham Potter's plans for the second half of the season. One that could see the Blues add runs in the FA Cup and Champions League to a demanding Premier League calendar already congested by a winter World Cup and postponements in September following the death of Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II.
That will also include international breaks in March, June, September, October and November before 2023 wraps up where Kovacic, as will many others, be key members of the next qualification campaign.
These demands are frankly ridiculous. It is of little shock we have seen increased injuries, struggles in form and dips in quality since the resumption of football in the summer of 2020 after the hiatus due to the COVID-19 pandemic.
Players, for all they may be rewarded with exorbitant wealth, are being asked to perform at higher levels with shorter rest periods. The ramifications on players' fitness and development could be more serious than many anticipate. And despite the smugness of paid FIFA employees like Arsene Wenger, not everyone craves more football.
When he was head coach of Chelsea, Thomas Tuchel summarised the issue with the introduction of more games into an even tighter schedule in 2021.
"The game is for the players and for the spectators - and spectators want to have the top players on the pitch," Tuchel said. "They want them healthy, fit, in shape and hungry. You cannot always provide it if you play so many games in so many different competitions.”
Thibaut Courtois caught headlines in November 2021 when he accused UEFA and FIFA of promising wealth over the players' welfare, citing the chase for more games from football's governing bodies.
"This game is just a money game and we have to be honest about it," the goalkeeper said.
"We just play it because for UEFA it's extra money. They can be angry about other teams wanting a Super League but they don't care about the players, they just care about their pockets.
"It's a bad thing that players are not spoken about. And now you hear about a European Championship and a World Cup every year, when will we get a rest? Never."
Infantino's speech confirmed the number of games is only likely to increase. Hurtling us closer to the maddening reality Mitchell and Webb prophesied whilst circling the Loftus Road pitch. The reality probably is, we are already there: it moves!
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