WHEN Mat Croker slammed his hand into the turf after scoring his first NRL try against Canberra on Sunday, it wasn't because he felt any sort of personal satisfaction - it was because he felt Newcastle were back in the game.
A heart-on-the-sleeve type player, Croker crossed for his first four-pointer in the 55th minute with the Knights trailing 14-6 at GIO Stadium.
His try, scored by running onto a Kalyn Ponga grubber, swung the momentum Newcastle's way and came about a minute after Raiders forward Elliott Whitehead got sent to the sin-bin.
"Without giving myself too many wraps, I noticed Xavier Savage was out of the play because they were just recently down to 12 men," Croker recalled to the Newcastle Herald on Wednesday.
"We had a big shift and I whispered to KP at the start 'put this on the toe'.
"As it was all moving a bit quicker, I was getting a bit more animated saying 'put this on the toe!' and I was just lucky [Kalyn] is so skillful he put it on a dime for me."
Croker, playing only his 10th NRL game, celebrated by slamming his right hand into the turf. The emotional celebration actually resulted in some teammates thinking he had blown the try.
"It was pretty funny, a lot of our forwards didn't see me score," Croker said.
"They thought I slammed the ground because I didn't get the ball down. But it was just a bit of emotion coming out. I was so happy that we were back in the game and had a fighting chance."
Canberra stole the game with a 78th minute match-winning try, but Croker said as difficult as the loss was to take, the Knights had taken plenty out of the game.
"I think on the weekend, people could definitely see an improvement in our performance," he said.
"Losing is never fun and it's very hard to be satisfied after a loss.
"But without going into our sanctum too much, we spoke about our performance against Penrith and we described how it was and then we described how our performance was against the Raiders and we could see a massive improvement within seven days.
"We've just got to keep hanging our hat on those kinds of performances. The result eventually goes your way and you build off that."
A relative newcomer to the first-grade side, 22-year-old Croker has made eight appearances this season after playing two games last year.
The utility forward may have played more this season had he not fractured his jaw playing NSW Cup when the Knights were going through their injury crisis.
But the Nabiac product has played six consecutive games since returning, finding his feet in the top grade and even playing 63 minutes last week.
Croker said it had been a somewhat "confronting" entry into first-grade given the Knights' difficult run this season but he was "stoked" to have regularly featured.
"We had a really good win against the Tigers and then a strong performance with 12 men against Penrith, but then I broke my jaw," he said.
"I was out for a few of those really big losses but it's been a bit up and down.
"You hear people talk about the roller-coaster of rugby league; it definitely is.
"In handling that, I just try and stay calm because I've got a lot of belief in this squad.
"I've got a really strong feeling things will turn."
Croker, a Taree Panthers junior, signed a new two-year deal earlier this year which will put him in the top-30 roster in 2023.
Initially on a train-and-trial contract, he said the new deal had helped put his mind at ease.
"I feel like Adam and the staff really believe and trust in me now," Croker said.
"When I first started, I wasn't getting overwhelmed but it felt like every week I was playing a grand final.
"But it's like anything, you get a little more used to it.
"I'm not setting the world on fire but I'm getting used to the NRL and facing the best players.
"I'm really enjoying being in the team and I hope I can hold my spot this year."
