If nothing else, Mary Makes Christmas suggests that a very Mary Christmas is a deeply wholesome affair. There is nothing more special, says the former Bake Off judge, than making gifts for people. Personally, I am on board with this philosophy, despite what certain family members may think of their haphazard – let’s say “rustic” – gifts, but there are plenty of people who would rather have a PS5 than a jar of stilton dip, no matter how much love went into that cheesy sauce. It seems reasonable to assume that this is not the programme for them.
Instead, it is a cosy hour of old-school, classic, Delia-style cookery, with crafting, celebrity guests billed as friends (“old and new”) and festive activities such as bellringing, swimming in the sea and carol singing, which may or may not have been filmed at a more balmy time of year. I should say, for transparency’s sake, that I have no idea when this was made – there is every chance that it was filmed last week – but nevertheless, when watching Christmas specials, I do enjoy wondering if everyone is having to put on a jumper and pretend to enjoy the taste of mincemeat as they sweat it out under an off-season Santa hat.
Berry has invited viewers to the coast for a beachside Christmas. She loves the beach at this time of year, she says, because you can let your dogs run free. She shares cards from her grandchildren, which she has held on to over the years, and anecdotes about the decorations made by her children, which she still brings out for the tree. She cooks up Christmassy treats that can be eaten on the spot or given away as gifts, if you wrap them up in ribbon – recycled and repurposed – and decorate the packaging with shiny gold marker. In our culture of overconsumption, in which we are urged to spend at every turn and buy far more every year than we might ever need in a lifetime, there is something retro, and not unappealing, about the notion of giving chutney and turkey pasties as presents.
I appreciate a solid Christmas cooking show that has no time for fads and offers genuinely useful tips. Don’t bother spending days on a Christmas cake when you can use a jar of mincemeat to moisten a sponge and add that Christmassy flavour to it; if you are worried you will still be eating it by spring, simply make smaller ones. Sliced cabbage tastes good in a delicious-sounding seasonal soup, but chop it up and it will be easier to eat – at least if you are Berry’s husband, who once spilled it on his shirt. Watching this is like dropping in on a relative who is really, really good at Christmas, rather than the ones – naming no names – who end up panic-buying a fleece in TK Maxx on the 24th and keeping all fingers crossed.
The celebrity side has a slightly more befuddled air, although that, too, is ever so nice. The former Strictly dancer Oti Mabuse arrives to make snowballs with Berry on the sea-facing decking. These snowballs are not the creamy cocktails of doom that once ruined an entire teenage Boxing Day for this poor soul, but crispy white biscuits made of almonds and baked meringue. Mabuse talks about spending Christmas in South Africa; she frets about what the internet will say about her mixing skills and whether Berry will cancel her for admitting that she hires a cook. A teacherly Berry does not let her get away with beating when she should be folding.
Apricots in brandy with Amanda Holden – and if that isn’t an Alan Partridge commission waiting to happen, then somebody needs to take note – makes for a camp middle act. The Britain’s Got Talent judge pops out to buy the alcohol, coming back with two bottles, one expensive and one “plonky”. They cook up jars of “deliciously naughty” boozy fruit, then Holden takes Berry off to the local church, where she is treated to the simple pleasure of schoolchildren playing Jingle Bells on actual bells. Then they go bellringing themselves, in a scene that lasts mere seconds, but is the funniest moment of the hour.
Finally, Nick Grimshaw turns up to make flapjacks for the local branch of the Royal National Lifeboat Institution. Berry has short shrift for his packaging skills: “Come on, you’re all of a fumble,” she says as he tries to add ribbon to his gift bags. He does get her to admit, however, that she has a novel way of closing a tin of golden syrup. It’s all very lovely, very Christmassy and somehow very vintage, in spirit and taste.
• Mary Makes Christmas aired on BBC One and is available on BBC iPlayer
