“Marry Me” starring Jennifer Lopez and Owen Wilson asks that age-old question: Do you, viewer, take this romantic comedy to be your next cinematic diversion, to have and to hold from this day forward, or at least for the next two hours?
The answer, I’m afraid, to borrow from another well-known phrase: Let’s call the whole thing off.
Decked out in an eye-catching and impressively fun wardrobe, Lopez is Kat, a pop star who is about to marry her amor (also a pop star, played by the singer-songwriter Maluma) at her next concert. That we’re meant to believe this concert-as-wedding is not a blatantly self-promotey choice — nuptials as business write-off, anyone? — is just the first of the movie’s many emotionally disingenuous beats. Moments before she’s set to make her bridal entrance, the bad news comes in a flash on everyone’s phones — hoo-boy, this movie is obsessed with social media — and it’s a video showing her fiance cheating with her assistant. Stunned and humiliated, Kat rises up from the stage floor in her massive, glittery, crystal-covered wedding gown. and suddenly all that heavy stage makeup betrays her. No matter how much highlighter is slathered on those exquisite cheekbones, her glow is gone.
