Never have I seen a group of people more despicable than (most of) the current cast of Married At First Sight Australia.
To my absolute shame, I have devoted hours to viewing them preen and fight and bully each other.
At times it has been genuinely troubling to watch and yet here I am, 36 episodes into this unashamedly provocative format and filled with rage.
At the final reunion dinner party, on E4 on Thursday, the couples and exes came together for one last chance at airtime – and they were given wine. The experts gleefully watched it all unfold from backstage.
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Olivia, Sam and Tamara immediately formed a witches coven in the corner, spitting out words like “yuck” when talking about Brent, like high school mean girls. Do these people not realise they are being filmed on global television? Where people with eyes can see them?
“They’re just like hyenas, surveying the land, bitching about everyone,” said Dom.
I am firmly Team Dom, by the way. She has behaved like a queen despite relentless abuse. But we need to talk about Olivia.
Unapologetically petty and jaw droppingly manipulative, she has become despised by viewers, and has even received death threats since the show ended.
Dirty Others beating down her door for series supervillain are Tamara, Sam and Carolina, who copped off with one of the other husbands in secret and just didn’t care.
“We want to be the stars of the show,” admitted fame-hungry Carolina.
These people are not technically married, that’s the problem. It makes it all too easy to turn this seemingly serious social experiment into an explosive, wife swapping slanging match.
But the episodes with the dinner parties and commitment ceremonies where dirty laundry is aired and everyone is one opinion away from a punch-up are certainly the most entertaining.
Best moments of the dinner party included Al burping in Tamara’s face, Tamara getting caught out for texting Ella’s “husband” Mitch, and Holly demanding Olivia apologise to Dom for sharing her nude OnlyFans photo.
Olivia didn’t apologise. She just complained that Dom had “fashioned a weapon”, referring to that time Dom broke a glass in her vicinity. Dom now wears a tattoo of a broken glass with pride.
Monday night expect the Hunger Games in the final episode as they all face the experts and some glorious video evidence. Is there anything more thrilling than comeuppance?
This may be engineered, ridiculous, soapy telly, but like millions across the world, I’m hooked and I’ll be rooting for the good guys.
