You’ll remember Mark Radcliffe and Marc “the Boy Lard” Riley from their riotous Radio 1 shows in the 90s and early 00s, first late night on the graveyard shift in 1993, then in a short, ill-fitting turn as bleary-eyed DJs on the Radio 1 breakfast show in 1997, before conquering early afternoons from 1997 to 2004. (Riley’s nickname came after a back injury when he made the mistake of admitting he needed to “shift some lard”.) They brought us memorable catchphrases – “Stop … carry on!”, “by Jovi” and “wickedy wickedy warp” – as well as characters such as Fat Harry White (who was really just Radcliffe doing a Barry White impression into a vocoder). And they cared about the music, championing new bands, just so long as it wasn’t (as they pronounced it) the Stere-Ophonics.
The pair haven’t appeared together on the radio since 2004, with Radcliffe going on to find a new chum in Stuart Maconie on Radio 2 and 6 Music, and Riley hosting his own show on 6, before teaming up with Gideon Coe. But now they’re back for Carry on: An Evening With Mark and Lard, which promises chat, music and plenty of reminiscing. We caught up with the pair while they were getting suited up at the tailors to chat Kylie, Bowie, where it all went right … and where it all went horribly wrong. Biggedy biggedy bong!
Hello! Mark and Lard are getting back together! Do you think the world is ready for your return?
Mark It’s funny. When we were talking about doing the photoshoot in this suit shop, we said to Karl, who runs the shop: “If we can give you some publicity, would you give us a deal?” He said: “I’ll talk to the publicity department,” which is two people. He came back and said: “I’ve got some good news and some bad news. The bad news is one of them has never heard of you, but the good news is that the other one’s a massive fan.” I said: “Oh, we’ll take that. A 50% hit rate!”
Lard That’ll do!
So what’s with the zoot suits?
Lard We’ve always tried to have matching gear, haven’t we?
Mark It started when we were at Radio 1, where a lot of people were very fashionable, but we never were. I remember turning up when everyone was in puffer jackets and we were in anoraks. But as you get older, you need to be a bit smarter, else you look like you’ve come to fix the heating.
Lard Which we also do.
Why have you got back together?
Mark We’ve been aware for a long time that the Mark and Lard show is this monster that has refused to die. People shout the old catchphrases and say: “You got me through my A-levels.” We had our photo taken having a pint in the pub for this exhibition of famous Mancunians at the Central Library last year. It got 1.3m views in 24 hours. I’ve only got 80,000 followers. We thought: “Ah, there’s something going on here.” Plus 24 March 2024 is the 20th anniversary of our last show on Radio 1.
Is this like getting Noel and Liam in the same room here? Did you have some horrendous falling out?
Mark I’d love to give you a story. I really would.
Lard We can make one up if you like?
Mark I think we’d just exhausted everything. There was a lot of comedy involved, so the audience was split into people who would turn the music up and these two annoying blokes down, and vice versa.
Lard Making each other laugh when you’ve been working together for 14 years gets harder and harder, so you have to be more edgy and throw in a few more curveballs. It got to the point where we were pushing our luck. Radio 1 certainly thought we were.
Was it weird going solo afterwards?
Lard I do remember saying to Mark: “How do you do three hours on your own?” People said Mark and Lard was like eavesdropping on two mates in a pub. Now Mark’s been doing it with Stuart [Maconie] longer than he did it with me. But sitting there and talking by yourself is a completely different beast of broadcasting, and a skill I had to learn pretty quickly, albeit to a very small audience at that time on 6 Music.
How did you find your collective voice at Radio 1?
Mark When Matthew Bannister took over as controller of Radio 1, there was a real mandate for change. They were experimenting with comedy and poetry. We were on the graveyard shift at 10pm till midnight with no big audience pressure. What Vic [Reeves] and Bob [Mortimer] were doing on telly chimed with what we were doing on radio. That was the only way we ever thought of doing it, which is what went wrong when we did the breakfast show. I remember Andy Parfitt [Bannister’s successor as Radio 1 controller] saying: “The last thing people want to hear at 6.30am is two Mancunian blokes shouting at each other.”
What are your favourite bits of old Mark and Lard?
Mark We had a take on radio phone-in quizzes with a contestant on the line … There were a whole succession called Lucky You, Missing Words, Beat the Clock. The format was always the same. An elaborate excuse would be found why Marc needed to leave the studio – “Alice Cooper is in reception, I don’t know why but he’s asked for you” – then he’d reappear as the contestant on the phone.
Lard Kylie did our jingle! She was absolutely massive so when she came into Radio 1, they’d say: “We want you to go on the breakfast show with Zoë Ball or Sara Cox,” and she’d say: “No. I want to do the afternoon with Mark and Lard.”
Mark And Bowie didn’t want to be a Radio 2 artist and loved that there were these two blokes on Radio 1 in the afternoon playing him loads. That’s why he kept coming into the studio. There’s a great picture of me and Marc in the studio where Bowie is reading the Viz annual.
Was this all a secret plan to become rock stars yourselves, with your spoof band, the Shirehorses?
Mark Definitely!
Lard It just grew very, very gradually, didn’t it? We used to do just do little snippets [on our shows]. We did things like the history of pop and we’d do the Kraftwerk story and just do a little parody for about 30 seconds of Autobahn. The Shirehorses grew out of that. It was a great escapade. We did four tours.
Mark It was the closest [we got to being rock stars] really. Well, Marc was in the Fall, but playing to 2,500 people who knew us off the radio meant something to people at that point. So we were able to live in a bit of a rock’n’roll dream for a little bit.
Lard The first tour we did, Peter Kay was our opening act and would travel around with us. He wasn’t drinking but Mark and I would be up drinking until midnight then have to get up at 5am to do the breakfast show. Peter would still be there at 5am, rattling on as he does.
Mark We’d say: “It’s too early for comedy, Peter!”
What can we expect from the tour?
Mark It’s called “Carry on: An Evening With … ” We’ve realised that in the age of the podcast, there’s an enthusiasm for going to a theatre and hearing people talk about stuff. So we’ve got clips of some of the sketches, we’ll probably do a couple of songs to finish off each half, and there will be a Q&A.
Lard There’s loads of stories we haven’t really delved into, like the time we went to see Bowie in New York and we got upgraded, but it was the days when you had to look smart, so we went to Tie Rack and bought shirts and ties and wore them with our jeans and tracksuit bottoms. The woman behind the counter was laughing her head off!
Mark There’s plenty of nostalgia. It’s a celebration of what we did. We certainly won’t be trying anything new! The other thing is that one of Lard’s catchphrases was “Stop … carry on”. The last word [on our show] 20 years ago was “Stop” and then, because of a technical accident, there was a 10-minute silence on Radio 1, which everyone assumed was part of the plan, which it absolutely wasn’t. It was just a mistake. We hadn’t kiboshed the system or anything. So inside my suit it says “Stop” and inside Marc’s it says “Carry on”.
Which means you won’t put the wrong one on by mistake.
Lard Exactly!
Carry on: An Evening With Mark and Lard is at Bowdon Rooms, Altrincham, 24 March; touring from 26 September. Thanks to kingandallen.co.uk for the suits.
