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Belfast Live
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Damien Edgar

Margaret McGuckin's tribute as brother dies on day of book launch about their story of surviving abuse

One of the leading voices in the quest for justice for victims and survivors of abuse, Margaret McGuckin, has released a book about her 15-year battle for justice.

Her book, "I Did This For You" sees the leader of SAVIA (Survivors and Victims of Institutional Abuse) delves into the abuse she and her brother Kevin suffered while in care homes as children.

Tragically, on Wednesday, the day of the launch, her brother Kevin passed away.

Read more: Historical abuse victims told they were failed by state during public apology

Margaret said she made the difficult choice to continue with the book launch despite the heart-breaking news, because so much of the book shared Kevin's own tale of injustice.

"I said, 'I'll do this for you Kevin'," she said.

"He was such a lovely gentle, innocent, saintly-like creature, he was just so lovely.

"He went through so much and I hate to even speak of this because it brings back awful memories of his rape and abuse and to find out what he suffered.

"He was only able to tell me when the campaign had been up and running for so many years."

For those that know Margaret, or Mags to those friends and supporters, the book launch contained all of her usual warmth and jokes, despite the tragic news of Kevin's death.

Also on display was her eloquence and ability to cut through chatter to advocate for victims, even if she so often shies away from the limelight of praise.

The phrase "force of nature" was used often and for once, it felt completely free of cliché, for it encapsulates perfectly the energy and drive Margaret has brought to her fight for justice for fellow survivors.

Her book is dedicated to those previously voiceless victims and most touchingly of all, to Kevin.

She said she was glad the book launch had went ahead and said Kevin's own journey through life after being abused as a child in various institutions had left him with physical and mental scars that he lived with as best he could.

"I just thank God that he was relieved of carrying all those secrets when he finally told me," she said.

"That gave me the impetus and the strength to continue the campaign because I knew that my brother, a vulnerable child, he was abused sexually, physically, mentally and emotionally all his young years.

"I fought for him."

Margaret herself was left in the care of the Sisters of Nazareth nuns aged just three-and-a-half, a place where she found little of the pastoral care and love that those who ran the institution preached about.

Her own experiences led to a long, hard and often lonely battle over 15 years to find justice, redress and a voice for survivors of that institution and others like it.

Eventually, six years ago, the Historical Institutional Abuse Inquiry, published recommendations that survivors and victims should receive financial redress for the horrors that they had suffered and last year, six institutions belatedly apologised for their role in failing children and young people in their care.

Margaret said the process of writing the book opened up doors to memories long held but only ever cautiously revisited.

"It was hard - for me to pour that out, I think it got easier at times when I was pouring it out," she said.

"It was like a flood, it was non-stop and then when I looked back I did cry.

"I was sort of going 'God help her, how did she get through that?' and I know I'm saying 'she', how did I go through that?

"Even talking to you now, it's like 'was that me?'."

Scars may fade but psychological pain can be deeply ingrained and for Margaret, self-doubt is a constant companion when she turns away from her life's work.

"I really still don't realise what I've done," she said.

"It's only when I see people and I can't believe that the people were there tonight for me, I mean that.

"I still have that thing when I go home alone and I still feel that loneliness and I suppose that comes from being locked in behind those four walls, that that'll always remain - it never leaves me, it never leaves me.

"I know I'm bubbly and I love talking to people, but when they go away I'm on my own and all that remains and still in front of me is that I'm locked up behind those four walls and I feel as if I'm friendless.

"That comes from the taunting that you're on your own, that nobody wants you and that stigma remains with you and I think that's the way it is with a lot of people - it remains."

Yet despite everything that life has thrown at her and her loved ones, Margaret's first reflections are on what comes next and how best she can continue to light a path for those sitting in the darkest and loneliest corners of society.

"As I said tonight, I'd love to help people, because I know what it was like," she said.

"I can't believe that was me and people didn't really understand you really and there's people out there in those jobs that don't really get you, you'll get that lucky one or two.

"You can't trust people to tell and reveal all this to, so I think there needs to be more people, like me and Kate (Kate Walmsley, her long-time friend and fellow survivor and campaigner), who have went through this and for people to trust."

The former NI Secretary Julian Smith, in one of the final acts of Boris Johnson's Parliament before it was prorogued, passed through the legislation for survivors.

He provides the foreword to the book and sent a heartfelt video message to the launch, a fitting tribute from someone Margaret has always delighted in jokingly calling her 'Mr Darcy'.

He perhaps summed it up best when he said Margaret was "an inspiration, and all that you've done has made a massive, massive difference to so many people."

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