PHILADELPHIA — We find ourselves in an unprecedented vortex of athletes acting as irredeemable idiots. These fellas aren’t exactly evil; just selfish, self-centered, and generally more odious than their peers, and acting in ways that are unprecedented in the annals of athletics. It’s like they’re in a race for decency and competing for last place.
Consider this Mount Rushmore of narcissism.
Is Ben Simmons, mental-health fraud, the biggest jerk in sports?
Or is it Phil Mickelson, the most popular active golfer on the planet, who’s willing to get into bed with Saudis he calls murderers as long as it means more money for him?
How about Novak Djokovic, the anti-vaxx tennis superstar who’s cost himself millions and maybe a Grand Slam record and the No. 1 ranking because he lied about his COVID-19 status?
Or maybe it’s Aaron Rodgers, the attention-starved narcissist’s narcissist, who admires racists like Ayn Rand and Joe Rogan.
Tough call. Let’s discuss. Ben first.
Unforgivable
Simmons dunk-choked in the Game 7 loss to the Atlanta Hawks in the Eastern Conference semifinal, demanded a trade less than two weeks later, boycotted 76ers training camp, then — after he got kicked out of practice and suspended — finally cited mental-health issues as the reason he wasn’t playing. By doing so, he trivialized the gravity of documented mental-health issues suffered by Eagles linemen Lane Johnson and Brandon Brooks, not to mention tennis star Naomi Osaka and Olympic gymnast Simone Biles.
Simmons misused a serious condition and left a hole on the roster in an effort to retain $20 million in salary. It was treasonous and, worse, disgusting.
Why? Because Simmons’ mental-health issues evaporated as soon as his trade demand was met. He began to attend practices and will resume his career — though not, apparently, until after the Nets visit the Sixers on March 10, in what surely would be an acrimonious homecoming. It will reportedly will be “weeks” before Simmons declares himself physically fit to resume his career.
How convenient.
The Joker’s wild
Djokovic lost in the quarterfinals of the Dubai Duty Free on Thursday to the No. 123-ranked player in the world, Jiri Vesely. He looked awful, which makes sense, since Djokovic hasn’t played much tennis lately. That’s because he’s not vaccinated for COVID-19, and most of the tennis action has taken place in countries that allow vaccinated visitors. With the loss in Dubai, Joker will lose his No. 1 ranking to Danill Medvedev, the reigning U.S. Open champion who made it to the finals of the Australian Open, where Djokovic was the reigning champion.
Djokovic didn’t defend his Aussie title because he was deported from Australia after lying about his COVID status to the Australian government. This, of course, is a much greater sin than simply being unvaccinated, which, as irresponsible as it is, has become a common curse to humanity. As it stands, Djokovic can’t come to America, either. He sits on 20 Grand Slam titles, one behind Rafael Nadal, who won in Melbourne.
May Djokovic always sit right there, stalled, like Lefty.
Sportswashing
Repressive regimes in the Middle East, like the totalitarian states of China and Russia, routinely use sports to distract from their human rights abuses. It’s called sportswashing, and it generally works. Mickelson isn’t the only golfer who’s gotten richer from dirty oil money.
He’s just the dumbest.
Mickelson is a bell cow for the Super Golf League, a proposed renegade tour funded by Saudi Arabia. Mickelson recently told biographer Alan Shipnuck that the Saudi’s are “scary mfers” and that “We know they killed [Washington Post reporter and U.S. resident Jamal] Khashoggi, and have a horrible human rights record,” and “They execute people there for being gay.”
Mickelson does not bother to rationalize the Saudis’ abhorrent record by saying things like, “It’s none of my business.” He acknowledges that he is partnering with evil. But he’s willing to get into that bed as long as it helps him strong-arm the PGA Tour into giving him more money as, at 51, he fades from relevance.
Mickelson smiles and signs autographs, but this isn’t Mickelson’s first foray into amoral abyss. Remember, this is a guy who profited from insider trading in 2012 (he paid it back), whined about taxes in 2013, and admitted to premeditated cheating at the 2018 U.S. Open. He’s insulted Tiger Woods, Tom Watson, and even Irish women.
All along, the industry and the media apologized for him. But this seems to be a bridge too far.
Two of Mickelson’s biggest sponsors, Heineken and KPMG, quickly dropped him, leading to speculation that Workday, Rolex, and Callaway might consider a similar move. Mickelson almost certainly will never be asked to captain a Ryder Cup team — Zach Johnson got that nod Wednesday — and might never be allowed near the team again, considering the PGA runs the enterprise. It will be interesting to see if the green jackets at Augusta National, where Phil won three times, ever welcome him back.
They won’t have to make that call this year. Mickelson issued a non-apology Tuesday, in which he vowed to take some “Time away.”
Hopefully, he’ll take Aaron Rodgers with him.
Doing his own research
A-Rod’s latest dive into diva-ism regards an amorphous Instagram statement issued, without provocation, Monday night. In it, Rodgers offers reflections from his life and career. A centerpiece: A photo of his favorite receivers at the Packers game Rodgers missed due to a positive COVID test. As the national anthem played, they left a space between them for Rodgers. This, of course, led to speculation that Rodgers would either be retiring from the NFL or, finally, leaving the Packers.
The next day Rodgers appeared on a podcast and said he’d made no final decision. Apparently, he just needed the attention.
Rodgers’ obsession to remain in the forefront of entertainment news rivals Paris Hilton’s. However, unlike America’s biggest tease, he’s addicted to approval, too. Remember, he didn’t tell people he wasn’t vaccinated because he didn’t want to deal with the backlash; he didn’t want to be held accountable for what he knows is an irresponsible, indefensible position.
It’s been quite a year, and quite a fall from grace.
Rodgers entered 2021 among the most popular athletes alive. Then he lied about his vaccination status, repeatedly violated COVID protocols, and then outed himself as a fan of racists Ayn Rand and Joe Rogan, the latter of whom spreads anti-vaccination disinformation that might’ve cost thousands of lives — information that Rodgers amplified during his own illness.
He also stunk in the Packers’ playoff loss, a one-and-done disgrace.
Nevertheless, Rodgers is probably is the least repellent of the four. Joker comes in third, despite his duplicity. Then, gentle Ben, a spoiled, sheltered 25-year-old whose duplicitousness can at least be blamed on youth.
Phil’s cannot.
He might be more than twice Ben’s age, but, as serial creep and cheater who admits to moral bankruptcy, he’s far more than twice as irredeemable.
