That’s your lot, then. Jamie Jackson’s match report is live, so what are you waiting for? Thanks for reading this MBM!
Ralf Rangnick adds: “Since I arrived, that was Ronaldo’s best performance. Energetically he was good, part of the whole team when we had to defend. A top performance by him, but also the rest of the team. I didn’t expect him to score three goals, but I did expect him to score. He only resumed training on Thursday but his session was so good I decided to bring him from the start and not have him on the bench, and in the end it was the right decision. He didn’t train for a week and I wasn’t sure whether his hip flexor was good enough. He told me on Friday he was fully fit and could play, so that’s why he was in the starting XI. It is a challenge with a player like him but he has shown today he still has the quality to play for a club like Manchester United and he is also a part of the team. If we want to be successful at the end of the season, we can only do it together.”
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Paul Pogba talks to Sky. “We needed a reaction, and the way we did it as a team. There were beautiful goals. There is no need to talk about Cristiano because that is what he does! He comes back and scores three goals, and everybody is happy! It was a very good performance as a team. We will look to see what we can do better, in the second half we didn’t get the nice passing or the movement. But when we started playing again, we got the corner and the winning goal. We want top four so it was a good win for us.”
Antonio Conte speaks to Sky Sports. “Tonight it’s very difficult. It was a difficult stadium, a difficult atmosphere against a strong team. We didn’t deserve to lose the game. But at the same time, it will help us understand where we can improve. We have to show more experience. You have to understand when to push, to go strong, to increase the intensity, and when to be calm. You don’t buy experience, you improve it after these type of games. We have many young players in the team and hopefully they will learn. We have to improve if we are to reach the top places.”
The managers are yet to talk, so don’t leave us quite yet. Quotes coming soon. In the meantime, Jamie Jackson’s verdict has landed, and here it is. Open another tab and enjoy!
EXPECTED GOALS RESULT: Manchester United 0.93 - 1.42 Tottenham Hotspur. Say what you like about Cristiano Ronaldo, but the man is some difference maker. “The old dog for the hard road, as the saying goes,” writes Nora Mulcahy. “Not that he would like to be called that, I’m sure.”
As CR807 climbs to the top of Fifa’s all-time men’s scorers’ list, United move into the top four of the Premier League. Arsenal can go ahead of them again tomorrow, if they win at Leicester City. It’s a setback for Spurs, though, who remain in seventh, the opportunity to leapfrog United, Arsenal and West Ham gone in three flashes of Ronaldo’s genius. They deserved a point on the balance of play, but when Ronaldo is in this mood, all bets are off.
| Pos | Team | P | GD | Pts |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Man City | 28 | 50 | 69 |
| 2 | Liverpool | 28 | 53 | 66 |
| 3 | Chelsea | 27 | 37 | 56 |
| 4 | Man Utd | 29 | 8 | 50 |
| 5 | Arsenal | 25 | 12 | 48 |
| 6 | West Ham | 28 | 11 | 45 |
| 7 | Tottenham Hotspur | 27 | 7 | 45 |
| 8 | Wolverhampton | 28 | 5 | 43 |
| 9 | Aston Villa | 27 | 3 | 36 |
| 10 | Southampton | 28 | -8 | 35 |
| 11 | Crystal Palace | 28 | 1 | 33 |
| 12 | Leicester | 25 | -3 | 33 |
| 13 | Brighton | 28 | -8 | 33 |
| 14 | Newcastle | 27 | -15 | 31 |
| 15 | Brentford | 29 | -13 | 30 |
| 16 | Leeds | 28 | -35 | 23 |
| 17 | Everton | 25 | -18 | 22 |
| 18 | Burnley | 27 | -16 | 21 |
| 19 | Watford | 28 | -27 | 19 |
| 20 | Norwich | 28 | -44 | 17 |
FULL TIME: Manchester United 3-2 Tottenham Hotspur
Cristiano Ronaldo, now the top scorer in the history of the men’s game with the 805th, 806th and 807th goals of his career, takes all the plaudits as the whistle goes. What a performance!
90 min +3: Dier launches long down the middle. An easy catch for De Gea, who claims to great cheers. United counter, and Cavani nearly tees up Sancho from the left, six yards out. Sancho is surprised the ball gets to him, allowing Lloris to claim.
90 min +2: A free kick in the middle of the park gives United the chance to eat up some precious seconds.
90 min +1: Winks sends a diagonal ball towards Reguilon, racing into the United box from the left. If Reguilon rolls across the face of goal, it’s a tap-in for Kane. But he can’t make contact. Lindelof did very well to put him off there.
90 min: There really is no surprise here: on Sky, Gary Neville names Cristiano Ronaldo, Mr 807, as man of the match. There will be a minimum of four extra minutes.
89 min: Bergwijn rolls Kane into space down the right. He reaches the byline, only to shank a cross into the stand behind.
88 min: Spurs make a double change, replacing Bentancur and Davies with Winks and Bergwijn. At this point, you’d usually assume Spurs would be wondering how they’re losing this game ... except on this occasion the answer is obvious.
87 min: Kane, having received treatment from the physio, has to leave the field for the free kick. Son takes and loops long, straight out of play.
85 min: Old Trafford is seriously bouncing after Ronaldo’s latest act of absurd heroism. Pogba, perhaps a little over-excited, picks up a booking for clipping the back of Kane’s leg. A free kick out on the right.
83 min: His hat-trick complete, Cristiano Ronaldo, the all-time leading men’s scorer according to Fifa records with 807 goals for club and country, makes way for Lindelof.
GOAL! Manchester United 3-2 Tottenham Hotspur (Ronaldo 82)
It’s CR807! Sancho makes a nuisance of himself down the right and wins a corner. Telles takes. Ronaldo rises above Doherty on the penalty spot and slams an unstoppable header into the very top right corner of the goal! Lloris had no chance! Old Trafford explodes in honour of their record-breaking hero!
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80 min: Ralf Rangnick goes for it. He hooks Matic and throws on Cavani. Here’s “a little advice to poor Harry” from Mary Waltz. “No matter how this game ends, go home, put your phone in the safe, do not read the paper or social media for two weeks. You are already getting dragged on a nuclear scale.”
78 min: Spurs swap the tiring Kulusevski for Moura. “Remember when offside was offside and not a confused mess?” asks Peter Kay Niall Mullen, who also has material about Spangles and white dog dirt.
77 min: Ronaldo and Sancho one-two down the inside-right channel. Mr 806 sends an improvised toe-poke towards the bottom right. Lloris does extremely well to turn the ball around the post. Nothing comes of the corner, and CR7 has to wait for 807.
75 min: Not quite so nice, incidentally, was Romero’s reaction to Maguire’s misfortune. The Spurs defender got right up in the hapless defender’s grille to celebrate.
73 min: Dalot spins in the hope of meeting De Gea’s pass down the right. He accidentally studs poor Reguilon in his trouser arrangement. That’s gotta hurt. No malice intended, though, and when Reguilon gets back up, he’s more than happy to accept Dalot’s hand of apology and friendship. Nice to see.
GOAL! Manchester United 2-2 Tottenham Hotspur (Maguire 72 og)
Oh Harry. Son slips Reguilon down the inside-left channel. Reguilon fires a low cross into the six-yard box. Romero is preparing to slam home, though he’d be offside. Maguire slides in, though, diverting the ball past his own keeper and into his own net! Oh Harry.
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71 min: A bit of space for Reguilon down the left. He tries to find Kane at the near post, but Maguire clears.
70 min: Spurs pass it about a bit to very little effect. This second half hasn’t been a patch on the first.
68 min: Rashford is replaced by Elanga. A warm reception for Rashford as he departs, a big cheer for Elanga when he comes on.
66 min: Fred and Sancho combine to find Ronaldo down the right. Ronaldo has no support whatsoever, so takes a speculative pop from the right-hand edge of the D. Lloris parries. There’s nobody there in red to follow up. Spurs clear.
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65 min: Hojbjerg and Kulusevski hover on the edge of the United box, but can’t open the home team’s defence with their overly intricate passing.
63 min: Romero bowls Sancho to the floor. The whistle hasn’t gone, so Romero tries to dig the ball out from between Sancho’s legs. Boot, boot. Sancho springs up livid. It nearly kicks off. It doesn’t, though, it’s just a free kick for United ... and that free kick turns out to be a total non-event.
61 min: Spurs suddenly spring into life. Sancho gives the ball away in his own half. Kane slips a pass wide right for Kulusevski, who rolls into the box for the in-rushing Son. A goal looks on the cards, but Son sends his low first-time drive inches wide right. That would have been a very pretty goal.
59 min: Reguilon romps into acres down the left. His deep cross ends up with Doherty on the other flank. Doherty tries to return it, but it’s another ball disappearing deep into the East Stand.
57 min: Doherty swans in from the right and is upended by Telles. A free kick 35 yards out. Everyone lines up on the edge of the United box. Son swings it in, but not in a particularly dangerous way. United clear easily enough.
56 min: Sancho cuts in from the left and dinks across for Pogba, free in the box to the right of the penalty spot. Pogba prepares to belt home, but Reguilon races back to intercept, heading out for a corner. Telles whips the set piece straight out of play.
54 min: Rashford sends an interesting ball in from the right, but nobody in red has gambled. It sails along the corridor of uncertainty and away from danger.
53 min: The corner’s worked back to Reguilon, who wangs a dismal cross deep into the East Stand.
52 min: Davies and Reguilon combine down the left and win a corner. Spurs may be losing, but they’re on top right now.
50 min: Pogba looks to power his way up the middle of the park, but is crunched fairly by a magnificent old-school tackle from Romero, making up the ground from behind and timing things perfectly. Play goes on. He stays down awhile, having felt that.
49 min: United clear the corner, but Hojbjerg returns the ball immediately, his diagonal pass nearly releasing Son into the box down the left. Just too much weight on the pass. Goal kick.
48 min: Kulusevski, who has been magnificent for Spurs since joining in January, curls to the far post. Son prepares to head home. Dalot does well to get his header in first, conceding a corner on the left.
47 min: Reguilon makes off down the right and rolls infield for Kane, who clips a pass to release Kulusevski down the channel. Kulusevski reaches the byline and cuts back to nobody. But there’s an early sign that Spurs are going to continue to pile forward. No big change of plan.
United get the second half underway. Ronaldo has been hooked in favour of ... no, of course he hasn’t. Fifa’s all-time record goalscorer in the men’s game plays on, in search of his hat-trick. Neither team has made any half-time changes.
Half-time entertainment. Bican was also a part of Austria’s famous Wunderteam of the 1930s. John Ashdown tells their tale.
HALF TIME: Manchester United 2-1 Tottenham Hotspur
Both teams have been scintillating in attack. In defence, not so competent, but who cares when the entertainment is this good. Cristiano Ronaldo is now Fifa’s official all-time leading scorer in the men’s game, his 805th and 806th goals overtaking Josef Bican, who scored most of his during the 1930s and 1940s with Slavia Prague.
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45 min +1: Sancho makes good down the left and aims a curler for the bottom right. He can’t get enough power on the shot and it’s an easy claim for Lloris.
45 min: There will be two added minutes. Shame there can’t be 22. This half has been great fun.
44 min: Reguilon curls in from the left. Kane is miles offside. But if he leaves the ball, Doherty is free behind him, onside, and shaping to slam home. Kane can’t help himself, though, and heads goalwards. Spurs force a corner but the flag correctly goes up for offside.
42 min: The corner’s hit long, then worked back to Son, who tries to make space for a shot on the edge of the box. He can’t quite get one away, so tries to tee up Davies with a cute pass down the inside-left channel. That doesn’t quite come of, either, and eventually United clear their lines. There is surely no way the scoring is over for the evening.
41 min: Spurs come back at United, Kane having a pop from distance. His shot twangs off Varane and out for a corner on the left. Son to take.
39 min: It wouldn’t be outrageous to say that Spurs have been the better team up to this point. And yet look! That Cristiano Ronaldo, huh?
GOAL! Manchester United 2-1 Tottenham Hotspur (Ronaldo 38)
Matic rakes a pass down the left for Sancho, who springs clear. He’s got Ronaldo in the middle. He rolls across, teeing Ronaldo up perfectly. He can’t miss, slotting home from six yards. That’s 806 up, then! He’s now the all-time leading men’s scorer according to Fifa.
Updated
36 min: Incidentally, just before the penalty, Fred was booked for arguing the toss, presumably with reference to the earlier non-decision featuring Dier.
GOAL! Manchester United 1-1 Tottenham Hotspur (Kane 35 pen)
Kane absolutely blooters the ball into the bottom left. De Gea went the right way, but had no chance of stopping it. This had been coming, and being level is the least Spurs deserve.
Updated
Penalty for Spurs!
34 min: Spurs retrieve the ball after Dier’s poor free kick. Kulusevski barrels down the right and reaches the byline. He whips a cross towards the middle, but Telles blocks with a dangled arm. The referee points to the spot immediately, Telles’ arm clearly in an unnatural position.
33 min: Dier blooters the free kick witlessly into the wall. “The presence of Tom Brady at American-owned United today makes me suspicious of the tactics that Ralf Rangnick’s team might be using today,” writes Justin Kavanagh. “The ref should double check the ball pressure for the second half too. Mind you, watching United these days is deflating enough.”
32 min: Matic comes late through Kane, and this is a free kick in a very dangerous position, just to the left of centre, 25 yards out. Dier fancies it.
31 min: Ronaldo relieves some pressure on United by countering down the middle, and he’s brought down cynically by Dier, who earns himself a place in the referee’s notebook.
30 min: ... and they’re opened up again, Kane sending Kulusevski into space down the right. Kulusevski cuts back for Bentancur, whose tentative shot is blocked by Maguire.
29 min: ... and again, with Bentancur creaming a delicious diagonal pass towards Doherty on the right. Doherty can’t get a shot away. United are second best at the minute.
28 min: Pogba strides in from the left but can’t get a shot away. Kane launches a counter, and Bentancur has opportunities on both flanks to move Spurs into a seriously attacking position. But he faffs around and the chance is gone. Spurs looking dangerous again.
26 min: The corner’s flicked on at the near post by Bentancur. Dier wins a header at the far stick and aims for the top right. Dalot, on the line, heads clear, and Hojbjerg hoicks over. Spurs may be losing, but they’re playing well.
25 min: Kane drops deep to quarterback, the eyes of his idol Tom Brady looking on. Kane showcases his skills by sliding Son into space down the inside left. Son tries to return the ball to him at the near post, but United manage to bundle it out for a corner before it reaches his man.
23 min: Telles crosses from the left. Ronaldo leaps higher than Davies and flicks a header wide right. We can’t call him Mr 806 yet.
22 min: United take the sting out of the game with some sideways passing in the midfield. Spurs are in no mood to press up and expose their defence. A stand-off right now.
20 min: Kane’s hustle down the right wins Spurs a corner. Nothing comes of it, but this is a fine response by Spurs to falling behind to that bit of world-class nonsense from Ronaldo.
18 min: ... so having said that, Son slips Davies clear down the inside-right channel. Davies gives De Gea the eyes, and beats the keeper at his near post. But the flag goes up late for offside, correctly so.
16 min: Pogba worms his way down the left and creams a shot across Lloris, inches wide of the right-hand post. United are suddenly full of confidence.
14 min: That’s Ronaldo’s 805th goal of his club and international career, and it draws him level with Josef Bican at the top of Fifa’s official all-time men’s scoring list. Some way to do it, huh.
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WHAT A GOAL! Manchester United 1-0 Tottenham Hotspur (Ronaldo 12)
It’s just as well the penalty wasn’t given, because if if had been, we wouldn’t have had the chain of events leading up to this beauty! A bit of space for Ronaldo, 25 yards out. He doesn’t need much backlift to send a rising curler into the top left. Completely unstoppable. Lloris was never getting there. One of those that was in all the way.
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11 min: The aforementioned Mr Neville doesn’t think that was a penalty either, though having seen a replay, Dier’s arm was hanging a fair bit away from the side of his body. The players were certainly close together ... but you’ve seen them given, is all.
10 min: Ronaldo isn’t letting it drop, and chunters on at the referee, who remains unmoved. “Did anyone else hear Gary Neville ‘tut’ then as United’s midfield was dissected by a simple ten-yard forward pass?” asks Stephen Carr in the rhetorical style.
9 min: A long ball down the United left. Doherty loses the flight. Sancho gets in behind, and cuts back for Ronaldo, who smacks goalwards. The ball hits Dier’s arm, and United scream for a penalty, but the short distance between both players is the Spurs man’s friend. Neither referee nor VAR shows any interest.
7 min: Pogba bustles down the right and cuts back for Ronaldo, who tries an outrageous floating diagonal chip. It never looks like beating Lloris and sails quietly into the stand.
6 min: Son drives down the left wing before gliding infield. He considers shooting but tees up Kane instead on the edge of the D. You’d expect Kane to shoot, but he loves to make plays - Tom Brady is in the stands tonight, by the way - and attempts to slide in Kulusevski to his right. He can’t find the gap in the United defence, and the hosts clear.
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4 min: Another long pass by Hojbjerg, this time for Son down the inside-left channel. For a second, it looks like releasing the Spurs striker on goal, but De Gea comes out of his box to tidy up.
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3 min: Now Kane attempts to be the provider, hooking down the same wing for Doherty. Telles sorts the situation out for the hosts this time.
2 min: Spurs get the ball back. Hojbjerg passes long down the right in the hope of releasing Kane. Varane comes across to block off the channel.
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1 min: United snaffle possession in short order and stroke the ball around hither and yon. Spurs sit back and hold their shape.
Spurs get the ball rolling ... but only after everyone takes the knee. Applause rings around the stadium to greet the gesture. There’s no room for racism. Challenge it, report it, change it.
The teams are out! Manchester United wear their famous red, Tottenham their storied lilywhite. Cristiano Ronaldo cracks a cheeky smile as the camera pans past him, suggesting he might be in the mood to put on a show. Antonio Conte meanwhile glides stylishly along the touchline, in a cool, confident manner that suggests he might be up for this as well. A great pints-in-the-afternoon atmosphere at Old Trafford. We’ll be off in a minute!
Some good news here: your MBM scribe has narrowly avoided getting into serious trouble as a result of the cheap but frankly irresistible ‘Lads, it was Everton’ jibe. “In years past that line would raise my hackles, inspire a rude response via e-mail,” writes Mary Waltz. “This year it inspires a resigned shrug, and thank God Burnley lost again.” Details of the only 3pm kick-off in the Premier League today, a late smash and grab for Brentford, can be found below.
Ralf Rangnick channels his inner Noel Gallagher, though the Manchester United manager’s lyrics make more sense. “It is no good to look back in anger. We need to show that anger on the pitch, and show the desire, be as aggressive as we have to be.” He also reports that Bruno Fernandes is ill, and confirms the news of David de Gea’s Covid test shenanigans.
Antonio Conte speaks to Sky Sports. “It’s always important, if we want to stay very close at the top of the table, to find consistency. We have prepared the game, United is a good team with important players. We have to try to exploit the characteristics of our players, and [breaks into impish grin] try to limit the characteristics of United’s players! We have to try to stay very close and at the end of the season we will see what position we will reach. ”
Manchester United make five changes to the side that lost all belief in the second half against City last weekend. Raphael Varane, Diogo Dalot, Nemanja Matic, Marcus Rashford and Cristiano Ronaldo return. Victor Lindelof, Aaron Wan-Bissaka and Anthony Elanga drop to the bench, while Bruno Fernandes and Scott McTominay miss out altogether. David de Gea has been cleared to play after returning a false positive for Covid-19.
Tottenham Hotspur make just one change to the XI named for the thrashing of Everton. Ryan Sessegnon has a hamstring problem so Sergio Reguilon takes his place.
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The teams
Manchester United: de Gea, Dalot, Varane, Maguire, Alex Telles, Matic, Fred, Rashford, Pogba, Sancho, Ronaldo.
Subs: Lindelof, Bailly, Jones, Mata, Lingard, Cavani, Henderson, Wan-Bissaka, Elanga.
Tottenham Hotspur: Lloris, Romero, Dier, Davies, Doherty, Bentancur, Hojbjerg, Reguilon, Kulusevski, Son, Kane.
Subs: Sanchez, Winks, Emerson, Rodon, Gollini, Bergwijn, Lucas Moura, White, Scarlett.
Referee: Jonathan Moss (County Durham).
Preamble
Two glamour clubs here, both a little down on their luck. Manchester United can feel a top-four finish slipping from their grasp, after a dismal home draw against Watford and a lifeless capitulation across the city last weekend. Spurs are by contrast coming off the back of a 5-0 win, but lads, it was Everton, and any sort of consistency has been elusive under Antonio Conte, his team as likely to lose limply at Burnley as they are to shock Manchester City on their own patch.
Both teams are capable of serving up some fine football; both have a shocker in them. Good luck guessing which United and which Spurs will turn up this afternoon, and it’s not as though recent meetings between the two will help any. Spurs won here 6-1 on their last visit, but have since lost twice to United at home to a cumulative score of … eh, just let me count it up … ah yes, 6-1. So blame us for tempting fate if this is a damp squib, but surely, one way or another, this is going to be very entertaining indeed. Kick off is at 5.30pm GMT. It’s on!
