Laydeez and gentlemen, we have a winner. In fact we can do better than that. We have two of them! Welcome to the Premier League: so good, so contorted by internal struggle, it can even defeat itself.
The decision in the Manchester City v the Premier League tribunal (not the big one; the smaller retaliatory one) was finally unveiled in its full 164-page glory on Monday afternoon. At which point English football was left with the spectacle of both sides simultaneously claiming victory, the referee raising both fists in the centre of the ring, both fighters sinking to the floor in triumph, thanking God, telling Adrian they love her, mobbed by trainers and cut-men.
