Many people have unique Christmas traditions to make their celebrations more festive. Some do it for cultural reasons, while others have simply found a way to add eccentricity to their Yultide practices.
A woman discovered this peculiarity with her fiancé when she celebrated Christmas with his family. It was her first time spending the holidays with her future in-laws, who welcomed her with a rather odd ritual that she had a difficult time making sense of.
She was so befuddled that she ended up leaving the party, which brought tension to a supposedly festive evening.
Christmas is supposed to be a festive time spent with loved ones
Image credits: RDNE Stock project/Pexels (not the actual photo)
But for this woman, her Yuletide celebration with her fiancé became a weird and tension-filled evening
Image credits: xmasstraws
High-conflict personalities are a common source of stress during festive times
Based on the woman’s account, her boyfriend immediately created tension with his reaction to her discomfort about his family’s Christmas tradition. He seemed to have disregarded her feelings and instead grew more annoyed as she expressed uneasiness.
His behavior may indicate a high-conflict personality. According to therapist, lawyer, and High Conflict Institute co-founder Bill Eddy, one red flag is having an “all-or-nothing thinking.”
“High-conflict people often speak in all-or-nothing terms. They tend to see people as all-good or all-bad,” he wrote. “Rather than excuse such extremes, take them seriously in looking at overall personality patterns of behavior.”
No one wants tension during a supposedly festive season. However, it can be unavoidable, especially with a high-conflict personality around. The best way to avoid drama from erupting is to manage these people.
According to psychotherapist Dr. Tracy Hutchinson, it begins with reframing expectations. She noted that the focus should be on having a nice, conflict-free time together rather than trying to fix the past.
Humor can also help diffuse heated situations by sharing positive, funny memories to lighten the mood. Dr. Hutchinson even advises using photo albums or videos for visual recollection.
But if all else fails, detachment could bail you out.
“If pulled into a conflict with a high-conflict person, mentally repeating the words ‘detach, detach, detach’ can help remove yourself mentally and avoid reacting emotionally,” Dr. Hutchinson wrote.
Such strategies may help the woman deal with future tense situations with her husband. However, if it becomes a recurring theme to the point of toxicity, she may need to consider professional help or even rethink the relationship.
The author provided more information about her story
Some commenters thought her reaction was warranted
However, one person called her out for ‘being a prude’
