Attending a family wedding is always fun and, dare we say, filled with a bit of drama. Whether it’s an uncle who doesn’t like the food or a cranky relative who complains about everything, it’s difficult to please everyone. Especially when unexpected rules come into play.
A woman planning to attend her cousin’s wedding in California shared online how she had to cancel due to a last-minute ‘no children’ rule. The mother of a 4-month-old had already booked flight tickets and an Airbnb when she discovered the policy. Keep reading to discover how other guests felt about the unexpected rule and how the cousin reacted to the author’s decision.
Brides and grooms might choose to exclude children from their wedding for various reasons
Image credits: Jonathan Borba (not the actual photo)
A mother shared how she felt bad about canceling her plan to attend her cousin’s California wedding due to a surprise ‘no children’ rule
Image credits: Min An (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Fun-Imagination4145
Weddings can be costly, so people often look for ways to save every penny they can
Planning a wedding is exciting, but things can quickly become expensive. From venue fees to catering and decorations, the costs can add up really quickly. While we all want our special day to be perfect, keeping track of the budget helps you keep the celebration within your means.
In the US, the average cost of a wedding varies by location and can range from anywhere between $14,000 and $49,000. Furthermore, Zola projects that the national average in 2024 will be $33,000, which is $4,000 higher than in 2023.
To save money on their wedding day, couples often get creative with their budget. Many choose to forgo traditional flower arrangements in favor of more cost-effective options or even DIY bouquets. They might also cut costs by hosting the reception at a more affordable venue, such as a family home or a public park. Some couples save on catering; others limit the guest list.
Just like this particular post, there are people who choose not to have kids at their ceremony. Wisconsin-based wedding planner Meredith Bartel says, “We’re not relying on our parents to pay for weddings the way we were a couple decades ago. People are making their own choices instead of having their parents plan their weddings.”
“That means different values and different budgets—and each child on the guest list impacts that budget. It’s a chair at a table. Now an adult guest can’t be invited because of that kid,” adds Bartel.
Apart from saving money, couples might choose to have child-free weddings because young children might create chaos by crying or screaming with joy or frustration during the functions. Additionally, parents might have to skip on events to calm the kids or entertain them.
By having an adults-only wedding, couples create a more formal and serene atmosphere for their special day
Basically, having no children means none of your guests are in mom-or-dad mode. Since nobody has to be on diaper duty or nap time, parents might be able to relax and let their hair down. Also, there will be no shrieking toddlers to interrupt your vows, toasts, and speeches.
Additionally, you might be able to invite more people if you ask your invitees to attend without their little ones. Sometimes wedding venues, especially outdoor ones, are not suitable for kids. If there’s a pond or lake without railings, it could be a safety issue.
However, there are also some downsides when it comes to having an adults-only celebration. You might offend moms and dads by not allowing them to bring their little bundle of joy. You’ll also find yourself in awkward conversations trying to defend your decision.
There’s also a possibility that people might decline your wedding invitation if they’re uncomfortable leaving their kids for extended periods, especially when it requires traveling a long distance. Additionally, new moms who exclusively breastfeed their babies can’t be gone for too long.
Weddings are often seen as “family occasions”, and not including a whole generation might seem unfair to a few people. Of course, it’s entirely up to the bride and groom on who they want to invite or not. What are your thoughts about no-kids at weddings? Would you go to a celebration without your child?
Many people online thought the author’s cousin could have made an exception for breastfeeding infants
Some people felt it’s perfectly reasonable for couples to choose a child-free wedding
