Not every marriage is happy, even if most start out on a high note. And yet, not every unhappy marriage ends in divorce, as some people tend to choose alternatives like transitioning into an open relationship.
However, as one Redditor shared, not everyone finds it to be a switch for the better, as some do. When the guy learned that his wife no longer wanted to be with him and had recently intended to cheat, he agreed to an open marriage despite previously strongly considering a divorce. Although it did save his family for his kids, it left the guy in a pit of sorrow. Scroll down to read the full story.
More info: Reddit
Open marriages can be a great thing for making your relationship stronger, but they will rarely mend one that’s already broken
Image credits: Karolina Grabowska (not the actual photo)
A guy and his wife were happily married for 10 years, but in the past few months, their relationship started to roll downhill
Image credits: Matilda Wormwood (not the actual photo)
The woman was always angry at the guy despite him being a perfect husband, and he started suspecting that she was cheating
Image credits: NATASHA LOIS (not the actual photo)
When he confronted her, she admitted that she intended to cheat but didn’t and told him that she didn’t want to be married to him or anyone else anymore
Image credits: u/devestatedhusband
The guy wanted to get a divorce but agreed to an open marriage so they wouldn’t break up their children’s home
The 40-year-old OP has been married to his 43-year-old wife for a decade, and for most of it, everything has been going well. However, recently, things started going downhill until one day when the guy became completely convinced the woman was cheating.
The woman spent several hours getting ready to go “buy some stuff for the home,” which she always hated doing. To top it off, she was going with an unknown male friend. Once she returned, she refused to go into any details, saying that in order to stay in their marriage, she needed some time just for her.
The OP opened up that a few days before that, his wife told him that she didn’t wish to remain married, and it had nothing to do with the guy, as he took care of all of the childcare, shopping, and housework and also worked from home.
The guy was also always non-controlling, emotionally available, mature, and good-looking, but none of that stopped his wife from being angry at him all the time and hardly communicating. He began considering divorce but was hesitant as it would break up the family and break apart his children’s home.
However, the next day, the poster finally did catch a break. When he and his wife sat down to talk, she told him that she did indeed intend to cheat the night before but didn’t, as she found her would-be-affair partner “lacking.”
Hearing this, the husband asked if the woman wanted an open relationship, to which she answered yes, as she didn’t want to break up the family either. But at the same time, she closed the door to intimacy between her and the OP, making them more like roommates and less like partners.
The guy was left terribly saddened but admitted that this was probably not the worst outcome he could’ve gotten, and the commenters supported him in his pain. The OP received many different pieces of advice from people who dealt with similar situations, and hopefully, he wasn’t feeling as alone as before.
Image credits: Andrea Piacquadio (not the actual photo)
Nowadays, many people choose to be in an open relationship, also known as consensual non-monogamy, where both partners are allowed to have other romantic and/or sexual partners while remaining committed to each other. But how does this kind of arrangement work?
According to Stacey Laura Lloyd of Brides, an open relationship can let you explore whether monogamy is important to you and find what fits you best. It can also help you meet new people and have greater sexual satisfaction while, ultimately, strengthening your main relationship.
However, the secret ingredient here, just like in any other kind of relationship, is communication. Open marriage can be great for improving it, but it’s unlikely to fix it if it’s already broken. Some jealousy is unavoidable, too, which can create issues that weren’t there before. Lastly, it can also be pretty costly, both in regards to time and money.
Considering these pros and cons, it becomes quite obvious that non-monogamous marriage is not for everyone. But if you do decide to give it a shot, Samantha Vincenty of Oprah Daily has some advice on how to do it better:
- Don’t rush into it, and give yourself time to research.
- Address any fears that you or your partner might have.
- Make sure that you both actually want an open marriage.
- Define and establish the rules you will follow.
- Be open about jealousy and crushes.
- Remember that making mistakes is inevitable.
So, in the end, having an open relationship isn’t inherently a good or a bad thing. If it fits you and your partner and you manage to make it work, it can bring a lot of benefits. That being said, it’s not a solution for all your problems. Thus, it remains a big ‘if’ when talking about whether it will help OP and his wife.
What did you think about this story? What is your view on non-monogamous relationships? Share your thoughts in the comments below!
The commenters were very supportive of the poster and offered him advice on how to better deal with the situation
