A man has sparked a debate about ghosting after “politely” sending a breakup text to a woman he met through Hinge and briefly dated.
In a video shared to TikTok earlier this month, Connor Moynihan, @connormoynihan4, could be seen looking at his phone and texting. The text over the video reads: “Politely letting someone know you aren’t interested in them.”
He then showed a screen of a text he was sending to a woman named Felisha, who he met on the dating app but didn’t see a future with. In the message, he wrote: “It was great meeting you, I don’t think we are a great match though, have a good one!”
Moynihan’s video seemed to be subtly shading dating culture and ghosting, which is when someone stops talking to a person they are dating without explaining why, as he captioned the video: “Isn’t this easy?”
As of 31 March, the video has more than 357,500 views, with many TikTok users in the comments praising Moynihan for sending the polite message rather than ghosting his match.
“Prefer a text like this over ghosting everyday,” one person wrote, while another said: “Yesss this [over] ghosting/ leading them on too long.”
According to someone else, the message was “polite and just right”.
A few viewers also acknowledged the benefits of sending breakup texts, with one person claiming: “People don’t realise that being ghosted hurts way more than a simple not interested text.”
However, multiple viewers said that they wouldn’t want to send or receive a text like Moynihan’s, with some claiming that they’d prefer to get “ghosted”.
“I would rather be ghosted. Like we went on one date! You don’t owe me an explanation nor do I care to have one,” one viewer claimed, while another said: “I only do this if they ask to hang out again, otherwise it’s not really necessary.”
Others shared horror stories about breakup texts, with women revealing that they’ve been harassed by men after telling them that they no longer want to see them.
“I did this and he broke my car window lol,” one viewer wrote. “I’m not putting someone’s feelings over my sense of safety ever again.”
Another person said: “The only reason I have hesitated to do this at times is because some guys react aggressively or have harassed me.” In response to the comment, Moynihan said: “That’s a good point. As a mature and well adjusted guy, I really appreciate texts like this, but some boys are unhinged and shouldn’t be on Hinge.”
Speaking to The Independent, Moynihan said that he sent the text to a girl he went on a few dates with after realising that he didn’t want to be with her long-term. However, he did acknowledge that the woman “seemed a little annoyed”.
“They said something along the lines of ‘whatever, no skin off my back,’” he recalled.
Regardless of her response, Moynihan said that he still thought sending a message was better than ghosting the woman, as he’d been ghosted before himself.
“You don’t want to leave someone wondering,” he explained. “I have been ghosted a few times in the past five months or so by women, so I think sending texts like I did is very polite and kind.”
As for the comments he has received in response to the video, Moynihan said that he understands why some women are hesitant to send breakup texts to men they’ve been seeing.
“It seems like a lot of guys have responded in a very toxic manner to texts like this,” he said. “Such as by saying threatening things to the women or harassing them, which was shocking for me to hear.”
