What would you do if your family’s obsession with appearances led them to cruelly mock someone? Just imagine being from a clan where everyone looks like they’ve just stepped off a runway, and fitness is practically a religion. If anyone wanted to be a part of this fam, they had to be ready to hit the gym, or at least look like they did. That is until one family member brought home a sweet, plus-sized girlfriend who didn’t fit the fam’s cookie-cutter mold.
This is what the protagonist of this story, a spirited 23-year-old woman, had to deal with.
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Superficial family, obsessed with looks, constantly mock man’s plus-size girlfriend behind her back
Image credits: MART PRODUCTION (not the actual photo)
Woman gets fed up with the cruel treatment her brother’s girlfriend receives from their family and decides to confront her brother about it
Image credits: Askar Abayev (not the actual photo)
The woman’s brother admits to his sister that he is not attracted to his girlfriend but she is a great partner and would make a good mom
Image credits: Анна Хазова (not the actual photo)
The woman tells her brother’s girlfriend the truth about what her boyfriend and his family actually think of her
Image credits: throwaway691500
The girlfriend’s reaction shocks the woman, after she gets called names for showing her the mean messages the family writes about her
Meet our leading lady (let’s call her Chloe), a young woman coming from a family obsessed with appearances. Chloe’s 28-year-old brother, Ben, is no different than the rest of the family. However, to everyone’s surprise, Ben has been dating Jia, a sweet 26-year-old woman who is not what this image-conscious family expected.
Jia is a sweetheart but she is plus-sized, so she doesn’t fit the family’s supermodel mold, and boy, have they made sure she knows it. They have whispered behind her back, cracked cruel jokes, and sometimes even made mean comments to her face, all under the guise of “just kidding.”
They once even Photoshopped Jia’s face onto a cow and printed it out. Yeah, you read that right. Ben? He barely did anything, stepping in only when things went way too far, like for the cow photoshoot.
Chloe confronted her brother about the situation but, to her surprise, he admitted he didn’t find Jia attractive. Ben said he thought his girlfriend would be a great mom and partner, so he was willing to overlook her “lacking”. Excuse us while we pick our jaws up off the floor.
According to an article on body shaming and its effects on a person, body shaming is harmful and can have lasting impacts on an individual’s self-esteem and mental health. “Experiencing body-shaming can interfere with your self-image and make you feel extremely self-conscious. Fears about being judged by others may cause you to limit or avoid social activities,” the article explains.
Thankfully, in recent years, there has been a significant push to combat body shaming and foster greater self-love and acceptance of our appearances. While body positivity is an ongoing journey, there are a few things one can do to overcome body shaming and build body positivity, starting with cultivating self-love and replacing negative self-talk.
The woman’s brother is mad at his sister for telling his girlfriend the truth, saying she didn’t have to know, and stops talking to his sister
Image credits: Diana Titenko (not the actual photo)
Now, let’s fast forward to a family wedding. Jia was politely but firmly excluded from the family photo because, as they put it, only married partners could be in the picture. That was the moment Chloe decided she had had enough of this cruelty. She took Jia aside and spilled all the tea, showing her the nasty messages from the family and revealing Ben’s true feelings.
Jia seemed sad at first, but she very quickly changed her attitude, calling Chloe the B word for telling her the truth. She also said that “she’s not planning on breaking up with her bf so she would rather remain oblivious to how his family viewed her,” Chloe recalls. Ben wasn’t any happier, cursing out his sister and insisting that Jia didn’t need to know the truth.
Navigating family and personal relationships is like walking a tightrope. It’s all about balance. While Chloe’s intentions were to protect Jia and expose the family’s toxic behavior, the method she chose for delivering the message might have been a bit too blunt.
Experts say that “to determine whether or not keeping your secret is justifiable, first be honest with yourself. If telling your secret will cause damage to your relationship, you have to decide if you can live with hiding it or if it’s best to reveal it and deal with the consequences.”
However, the moment you choose to deliver your message is almost as important as the message itself: “If you feel very emotional about it, wait until you calm down a bit. It will be easier to communicate when you can think clearly and speak calmly,” experts explain.
Since the truth bomb was dropped, Chloe has been ostracized by both Ben and Jia. They have remained together, but ignored her completely. This raises the question—did she make things worse, or did she do Jia a favor by telling her the truth? Share your opinions in the comment section.