We humans are simple creatures and easily get used to the good life. Reddit user Flatsoda-97 said her boyfriend also grew accustomed to the convenience of her driving him to work, even paying for it.
So much so that when the woman lost her job and asked him to cover half of the gas expenses, he was taken aback and reluctant to contribute.
This quickly escalated, and the couple found themselves in a heated argument, revealing deeper issues in their relationship regarding financial responsibility and mutual support.
Image credits: svitlanah / envato (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Marek Studzinski / unsplash (not the actual photo)
Image source: flatsoda-97
Finances are a tough subject even for seasoned couples
In one small study, married people reported their money-related disagreements tended to be more intense than those about other topics, and were less likely to be resolved. Other research suggests that financial conflicts may even be a stronger predictor of divorce than other types of arguments.
“It’s really hard to feel comfortable starting these conversations,” said Jillian Knight, a licensed marriage and family therapist specializing in financial therapy. “Because a lot of the time, people have the belief that you shouldn’t talk about money or that they’re not good with money.”
What happened to the woman behind the Reddit post isn’t that rare. According to Knight, one partner in a relationship often becomes the default money manager. While that works for some couples, she believes both parties should understand at least a few basics: How much money is coming in? How much money is going out? Where is the money and how can I access it if necessary? And what are our big financial goals?
Answering these questions, of course, requires time and effort. Couples should schedule regular sit-downs — “money meetings” — to briefly check in on how things are going and prepare for any big decisions or expenditures coming up. Knight said people shouldn’t attempt to discuss everything about their finances in a single session. That can be overwhelming. Instead, they should make financial communication a regular part of their relationship. Whenever their scheduled time comes — she thinks once a week is ideal — the couple should make sure they are both relatively relaxed, she added.
That might sound like a lot, but a recent survey found that 64% of people in committed relationships admit to being “financially incompatible” with their partners, with different philosophies about spending, saving, and investing their money. As we just witnessed, it’s just a matter of time before these things grow into bigger problems.
Judging from the Reddit post, it also sounds like, among other things, its author and her boyfriend didn’t really set themselves up for success.
People have been appalled by the way the guy carried himself
