Ending a relationship sometimes also means that one has to lose all connections that were formed during it. Admittedly, it can be hard to let go of these friendships and personal attachments that one has invested so much time in. That’s why some people continue to foster them despite no longer being with their ex-partner.
Redditor Throwawaydhdj6582’s girlfriend also stayed close with her late boyfriend’s family and has even introduced them to each other. However, every time he would meet them, the dad would always make strange comments about him, which completely rubbed him the wrong way.
Some people continue keeping in touch with ex-partner’s family despite no longer being in a relationship with them
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This woman also was close to her late boyfriend’s family, which completely weirded out her current partner
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Image credits: throwawaydhdj6582
Often, a person forms close relationships with their partner’s family because they are lacking something in theirs
The longer two people are romantically involved, the more likely they are to develop a bond with each other’s family. “Once there is an attachment or connection, dissolving those doesn’t always happen just because the partnered relationship ends,” says psychologist Ian Goldsmith.
Often, a person forms close relationships with their partner’s family because they are lacking something in theirs. Sometimes ex-partners come from disrupted households, so they try to get support and comfort they couldn’t receive from their own family.
In cases where a breakup ended on good terms, it might be easier to stay friends with the ex-partner’s family. “If you and your ex are okay with the way things worked out, even after a breakup, then it’s more likely that you’ll be able to befriend each other’s families,” relationship and etiquette expert April Masini tells Elite Daily.
Despite this, it might still be best to give things time, as keeping in touch might prevent the person from healing after a loss. “Imagine if every time you see your ex’s sister, she fills you in on how they’re doing,” says marriage and family therapist Rachel Sussman. “You’re not giving yourself time to heal if you’re continually being thrown into a memory of the relationship or the person.”
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The most important thing to remember is to protect one’s peace
No matter what choice the person makes, the most important thing to remember is to protect one’s peace. “Almost every reasonable person will understand if you need some distance for a while,” said psychotherapist Amanda Frey.
“Secondly, focus on your friends and family that maybe you neglected during the relationship, and reconnect with old friends. Third, stay respectful and friendly, even if the other person doesn’t feel that way. You’ll hopefully be able to retain relationships that you really care about while minimizing the negative emotional impact on yourself.”
When the person decides to reconnect with their ex-partner‘s family, they might start by testing the waters, like phoning them or sending a text. Psychotherapist Nancy Wilson suggests saying, “I hope you’re doing well. I know things have been awkward and challenging, and I want to respect all the emotions involved, but I value the relationship we’ve built over the years and would love to find a way to maintain a connection with you. If you’re comfortable with that, I’m here whenever you’re ready.”
If the family agrees on fostering the relationship further, it’s important to set boundaries and keep things light while dealing with the post-breakup. This may include discussing how much of your life they can share with your ex-partner, and vice versa.
Assuming that the person manages to remain close with their former partner’s family, they should also think about what happens when a new significant other enters the picture. The family might accept the fact that you split from their sibling or child, but meeting your latest love may be too much. “Sometimes new partners turn out to be disruptive to family traditions, even if the intention was otherwise,” licensed marriage and family therapist Joe Noble says. “Take it slow.”
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Some reader’s believed that his reaction was adequate
Meanwhile, others not so much
