An accountant with perfect vision was effectively “blinded” for a year after he blinked in strong sunlight only for his eyelids to snap shut and refuse to reopen until Botox injections enabled him to see. Forced to prise his eyelids open manually, or squint to give himself a crack of vision, Robert Graham, 67, did his best to keep functioning.
He played his situation down, partly believing it would be temporary and partly through fear. But it was only when he was referred to a private specialist a year after the problem started who suggested using Botox, which is more commonly regarded as a cosmetic treatment to smooth out wrinkles, that his lids lifted and he could see normally again.
Now retired, Robert, a father-of-two and grandfather-of-one, who lives with his wife, Suzie, 63, a former stay-at-home mum, in Bingley, West Yorkshire, said: “After my first ‘shutdown’ anything you need to have your eyes open for I just couldn’t do. I couldn’t read, watch TV or drive. It was truly debilitating.”
Remembering the morning in April 2014 when he walked out of the train station in Leeds and blinked in the sunshine, Robert recalls trying to “simply get on with things,” hoping it would be temporary.
He said: “It was a journey I’d made a thousand times before from my home to the office. I walked into the main road outside the station, turned down the street and the sun was rising. Everything was completely normal.
“I looked towards the sun, blinked into the light as anyone would and then it just hit me. That was it. There was no pre-warning. My eyes just shut down. The eyelids absolutely wouldn’t open.”
Robert, who has always had and continues to have perfect vision, had no way of knowing this was the bizarre and sudden onset of a condition that impacts him to this day. Called blepharospasm, it is where the muscles that close the eyes contract involuntarily.
There is no known cause and some sufferers have no success with treatment. The first time what is called a 'shutdown' happened to Robert that day outside the station, he remembers feeling confused and just doing what he could to get by.
He said: “I shoved my fingers into my eyes and pushed the lids open manually. I could then just about see to move into the shade. I thought it must just be the brightness. In the shade I did find I could sort of squint my eyes open.
“I somehow managed to make my way to work, mostly with my eyes closed but squinting them open a tiny bit every now and again to see where I was going. Once I got out of the brightness and into the office and was sitting down, I could semi-keep my eyes open. But I had to keep closing them as my lids were so heavy, my eyes were watering and it was hard.
“If I got up to walk across the office, even the stimulus of the wind moving across my eyeballs was enough to have another shutdown where I couldn’t open my eyes at all. I had to keep forcing my eyes open for a very short space of time, seeing what was around me, then closing them again as I walked. I repeated this same strange process to make my way home.
“But I didn’t let myself panic. I assumed it would go away. And, sure enough, I woke up the next day and my eyelids were heavy, but I could open and close them at will. Come 10am, though, the shutdown happened again.”
Robert saw his doctor, who suspected he had dry eyes. When eye drops failed to help, he worked his life around his ‘new normal’ and continued his commute, adopting a pattern of walking with his eyes closed before opening them very briefly to get his bearings. He only managed to continue working as he was winding down to retirement and focussing on training a team to take over his role – something he could do with his eyes closed when necessary.
He said: “I would explain that I was listening even if my eyes were closed. I didn’t want people to think I was being rude or was uninterested. If I needed to say something, I would briefly open my eyes.
“I was almost completely blind. I bought numerous pairs of sunglasses and goggles to protect my eyes from any air movement, which seemed to trigger the eyelids to close.
“This helped marginally, but as my eyes became increasingly tired throughout the day they would close for longer periods of time. When walking, I could only keep my eyes open for a fraction of a second at a time – enough to see where I was and enable me to walk for the next five seconds with my eyes closed. But one day I collided with a lamppost, which made me realise that I couldn’t continue with this bizarre routine.”
Soon every aspect of Robert’s life was impacted and he was unable to complete many everyday activities he had once enjoyed. He also felt very self-conscious, adding: “I’m sure everyone at work thought I was quite mad.”
In March 2015, Robert was referred to private specialist Professor Bernie Chang at Optegra Eye Hospital in Bradford, East Yorkshire. After sending the consultant a video of himself, showing how he was unable to open his eyes, he said: “He concluded that I had blepharospasm and suggested Botox straight away.
“At that point I would have tried anything. I didn’t hesitate. Within 24 hours of my first treatment, I saw improvement and I haven’t had a complete shutdown since.”
Robert has now had around 15 Botox injections into his eyelids and the area around his eyes and goes for treatment every two to three months.
He said: “I look no different before and after the treatment, as it’s not cosmetic. I can still feel the condition. I feel a lot of pressure in my eyelids, almost like I’m always tired when I am not.
“But now, with the Botox in place, I can use other techniques to help open my eyes when they close. It also helps to stop thinking about it. That way your face relaxes and it’s easier to open your eyes.
“I am learning to manage my condition and I am largely functional. It does make everyday actions like reading more challenging, though.
“I used to sit down and read for two to three hours but these days, half an hour would be pushing it because my eyes start to feel tired. And even though I have perfect eyesight, it’s a constant strain on my eyes. Still, thanks to Botox, rather than being a disability now, it is now more of a nuisance.”
