There’s an interesting new show on ITV this week but before I wholeheartedly endorse it I do need to ascertain something about you: how do you feel when musical theatre happens? How do you feel when someone sings, earnestly and theatrically, contorting their face round each sound, doing slightly too fast dance moves and staring directly at the camera? How do you feel when that happens? Right, you’ve put down “normal”, that’s good. Because my reaction is … well, it’s more of a whole-body recoil of horror. I’d rather, personally, watch raw footage of medical procedures going quickly and profoundly wrong.
But that’s just me! And you’re you, so you will probably like and perhaps love Mamma Mia! I Have a Dream (Sunday, 6pm, ITV1) a new competition format where 14 of Britain’s most theatrical and slightly annoying people compete for the roles of Sophie and Sky in the West End production of the long-running musical. To do that, the hopefuls – seven women who all seem to be called Stephanie, and seven men who I’m pretty sure are all called Callum – have been whisked off to Greece to recreate the many iconic song-and-dance numbers from the movie while being assessed by celebrity judges Amber Riley, Samantha Barks, Jessie Ware and Alan “why’s Alan Carr here?!” Carr. Does that sound fun to you? Because the prospect of watching that makes my entire body want to roll inside-out.
But that’s just me! If this show doesn’t already make it clear, it is worth saying that the UK has a bizarre and borderline unhealthy relationship with Abba. I am not saying I am not part of that – put Mamma Mia on at any given wedding and I am going wild to that thing – but realistically we do have to get over it a bit. Their albums came out in an eight-year period that ended in the early 80s. The musical has been running for more than 25 years now. We made a £140m custom-built arena in east London to host a daily show of Abba holograms. Now this. How many times can this country watch someone or something sing Waterloo before getting bored?
But that’s just me! I must concede that Mamma Mia! I Have a Dream is, once you get past the sheer musical theatreness of the participants – there is so much shrieking, so much squealing, so many instances of someone breathlessly saying “Ohmygod”, crying, stamping their feet to denote emotion, clapping (an actually incredible amount of clapping), holding a single hand to the chest, looking nervous but not actually being nervous, saying (but not emoting) the word “Yay”, high-fiving, smiling and prayer hands – once you get past all that, it is actually quite fun. The judges are a great balance – Samantha and Amber give sincere and well-observed live performance feedback, and Jessie and Alan giggle together like two kids who aren’t allowed to sit next to each other in class any more – and Zoe Ball does a great job of being matey with the contestants and firm-but-not-authoritative so that the whole train is kept on the tracks throughout. The island of Skopelos looks amazing; everyone is clearly having the genuine time of their life.
Do you remember the group performances at the start of the good seasons of The X Factor? I used to love them: about 25 people, all so desperate to be famous that they would kill someone if Simon Cowell told them it would get them a hit album, all trying to “win” at performing whatever Pink song was in the charts that week. They would be absolute car crashes – a tender young boyband who can’t quite harmonise trying to sing one precious little line together, that year’s bohemian female vocalist trying to stretch breathily over her three seconds of song, at least five people per song surprised to find out it was their turn to sing. For the last 40 minutes of every episode, Mamma Mia! is basically just that, again and again and again – they’re all friends! But not a single one has forgotten they’re in a competition! – and watching all these musical theatre people try to sing over one another, smiling bloodthirstily, is possibly the most enjoyable part. But that’s just me! Maybe you actually want to watch someone sing Dancing Queen yet again. In which case: your next few Saturdays are absolutely sorted.
