Look, Thursday Night Football is, in general, bad.
While it’s nice to have an extra day of football in our lives, Thursday night has typically been where the NFL hides its chaff. The unquestioned domain of the Jacksonville Jaguars and their urine-colored uniforms has given way to a few classics over the years. Unfortunately, it has mostly belonged to games most useful for determining draft position and testing the tolerance of a national audience.
Thus, my quest to allievate this burden by giving us a reason to hate-watch. A showdown between the Chicago Bears and just about anyone would be a perfect time to roll this out, and while the Washington Commanders have been more competent than expected there’s still the chance this team implodes upon itself like a breadstick skyscraper (see Week 3 vs. the Buffalo Bills). As such, I give you my Thursday Night Football bingo card for Week 5. Click to embiggen:
If you see it on the broadcast, mark it off on your sheet. Connect a line of five and you win. What do you win? The satisfaction of distracting yourself from a terrible football game. Hooray?
