Married At First Sight recap time. I hope your brain is just as smushed as mine after two whole weeks of MAFS 2023.
Alright, straight out of the gate there is drama. A bunch of the MAFS cast
AdamClaireJessein case you forgot, women using phones was another ick of mineJanelleOlliewoman, Berocca first, grill later
“There’s a part of me that absolutely likes Claire to the point where I’m going to get jealous if I think a dude’s trying to slide on in there,” Jesse tells the producers and I’m sorry, wot?
nowoki maybe my ass can live another day
They argue for a bit and then Jesse apologises on his way out because he thinks their relationship is a lost cause. He also thinks Claire lacks empathy which is fucking rich given how understanding she has been about his entire way of existing.
The next part of this week’s punishment is that the couples are being asked to hand over their phones. As if the producers didn’t see what happened at 1AM last night and quickly adapted the script.
Alyssai am the blue Powerpuff
Alyssa and Prince Eric (Duncan) are boring as usual, with nothing of interest in their phones. I thought there might have been something horny from Alyssa’s Man Of Honour, Brad, in the phone but even he didn’t deliver. The only thing worth reporting is this hold of the thigh:
higher, sisy did i send that dick pic. WHYYYdoll, that’s sexismdid i just get played?ShannonCaitlinShannon’s declaration of love for his exShannon said to Caitlin during the ranking taskur loss buddy boilovei am a turd who lacks mental clairtyMelissaJoshdear melissa, my dick is scaredmy vagina is offended by thathugs for daddy50 First Datesbut y u going home alone dollo shitas we rememberheaven to betsey, Melissa!one dickless day is all i asknice things about Disney Daddy on the wedding nightBronteHarrisonthat can’t just be Olaplexinsidecan i buy a decent personality from Bunnings?can u ever just be whelmed???I will read Merriam-Webster after Pornhub, tyDanSandyI know they don’t end up togetherMAFShave u seen my disney collectioni have been scared to say fuck until now in case my wife sees that as an invitationFUCK FUCK FUCKETY FUCK!!!!!THIS IS BOOSHITlisten here Mr Conservative Guyhoney sex is not an ornamentmummy need dickyMAFSLyndallChantelle Schmidt is a freelance writer who will be suffering through the pain of MAFS 2023 with you. You can follow her here. Want more MAFS tea? Get around our MAFS podcast below:
