MAFS Recap: Bronte Bunnings Douche Implode At Dinner Bc Lowest Blows Are Just The Beginning

Full disclosure, your MAFS Recap queen Chantelle is sick so I’m stepping in to give it a crack. Howdy and hello. It’s the morning of the fifth dinner party and after all the drama at the couples retreat, I’m praying for a wine-throwing incident. But I’m getting ahead of myself. Claire and Jesse are vibing again, which judging by the flashback, the MAFS producers attribute to Jesse’s nudie run at the retreat.

Reminder to all men that not everyone wants to see your shlong.

But as she helps him put on his suspenders, they genuinely seem like they’re getting along. Maybe love isn’t dead, after all?

Personally, Jesse’s suspenders take me back to 2010.

TaylaHugo

I wonder which emojis Tayla used lol

Following Alyssa and Prince Eric’s (Duncan) little spat, things are pretty icy. Like an absolute communication king he sits down to have a chat, speaking openly about how he’s feeling WHILE he helps her lace up her heels.

I genuinely get out of breath when I lace up my heels. Is that just me or…?

HarrisonMelindaLayton 

She’s giving independent woman on this International Woman’s Day.

Meanwhile, the fire of a thousand suns is burning in Bronte’s eyes as she recounts the way Bunnings Daddy broke up with her after the couples retreat.“I don’t know how you can say you’re falling in love with somebody and break up with me over text message. How do you do that?” she asks the producer.Thankfully, Bunnings Daddy arrives in his Bunnings button-down to give her some answers.

“Hellleeewww,” he says, like that one character from The Simpsons.

“I think the commitment ceremony is where we say whether our marriage is over or not. I think I ended our relationship,” he says, genuinely confused. 

Chuck on some Dizzee Rascal to lighten the mood, I say.

MelindaLaytonOllieTahneeRupertEvelyn.Rupert is quick to update the boys that things are progressing between him and Evelyn.

This is almost as obvious as Love Island’s beauty treatment analogy for sex lol.

You don’t know the half of it, pal.

After taking a sec to digest the news, the resilient king is just keen to have a few free bevvies with the boys. 

If you pause the episode you can see the exact moment where his heart breaks.

Next to arrive is Cam and Tahnee. Cam is taking a style risk by wearing his hair out and the other contestants are eating it up.It’s clear that the country boy is feeling his oats and I love that for him.

Fabio’s less symmetrical Aussie little brother, I guess.

Finally, Bronte and Bunnings Daddy enter the cocktail party. While they arrive together Bronte immediately stomps to the girls leaving her hubby in her wake.The room parts like the red sea as Bronte opens court, swishing her hair back before she unleashes on her now ex hubby.  The girls are sympathetic, but you can just tell they’re fkn stoked to finally tear him to shreds.

Go off, sis!

Meanwhile, Bunnings Daddy takes a deep breath and puts his onion slices back in his pocket to update the blokes. But while he waits for his tears to load he bows his head, claiming his brain’s not working today. Don’t cha think he’d be used to that by now?

Ollie smells a rat! And he’s not wrong!

“Every time he does tear up, god bless him, he actually doesn’t cry. He actually doesn’t,” Ollie explains. Hmm funny about that.

Me when the bartender cuts me off for the night.

It’s finally time to sit down for dinner and within the first ten minutes, Bronte is reaching her limit. You know when someone pisses you off so much that every innocuous thing they do is infuriating?

No, you fkn can’t m8.

After what feels like a lifetime of pleasantries, Alyssa decides she’s bored and brings up what we’ve all been waiting for; Harrison’s take down.

The mid-mouthful death stare says everything we need to know.

He goes on to say that the problem in their relationship is how Bronte continually breaks his trust. Well, as this is a filmed reality show and we have receipts, maybe it’s the continual lies and delusional attitude but okay go off king.

Laters!!!

Bronte has been pretty tolerant with this fuck knuckle but even she’s reached boiling point, and storms out into the car park with Lyndall hot on her tail.But I am relieved that at least one person in their PR relationship can act.

Lyndall took her heels off to chase after Bronte and that’s the sign of a good friend, folks.

With Bronte out of the room, Bunnings Daddy continues to wax lyrical about his wounds from the relationship, the girlies ain’t buying it. Claire is the first into the ring, calling Bunnings Daddy out for his manipulative behaviour. “You know what you need to do,” muses Claire. “You need to take off that shirt, stick it on a pole and wave it around because you’re a giant red flag.”

Go get em’, tiger.

But as we’ve seen many times before, Bunnings Daddy knows how to deflect, claiming that Claire told Bronte that she was only still in the experiment to repair her image after she copped shit for smooching former groom Adam.

Sending love, sending light to this poor man.

It’s all coming to the surface now. “You might like a little bit about me but at your core you don’t like me,” he tells Claire.

Fabio is just kicking back enjoying a vino and a show.

If you thought the night couldn’t get more dramatic, hold ya fkn horses because in clomps Tayla from Tassie. Did you get held up in Sydney Domestic Airport, darls?

Did you miss me?

Hugo is bamboozled. The poor dude was just trying to enjoy his last free feed in peace. “I did a runner at 4 o’clock in the morning on Friday,” Tayla says with a mane flick. 

Sorry, wot?

The pair wander off for a chat. Although Tayla has purely come back to throw some shade on her hubby, she’d decided to be demure in her fluorescent purple maxi dress and be the bigger person.“I believe everyone deserves second chances if their heart is in the right place,” she says in a monotone voice.

She’s serving Veruca Salt tbh.

She may be delusional but she’s trying, I guess.

This redemption arc did not go to plan.

So it’s a big cya to Hugo and Tayla but before they make like a baby and head on out, Tayla has one confession to make; she stole Hugo’s wedding ring when she was pissed with him and hid it in her shoe. “I feel like I got handed tickets to this performance and I’m wondering where I can get a refund,” she says.  You just know she practiced that in front of her bathroom mirror but god it was good. Bunnings Daddy isn’t just going to cop it, taking his aim at Melinda and Layton.“From what I’ve heard about you, you sound like a living nightmare,” he tells Melinda. After last time they were attacked by Bunnings Daddy, they aren’t phased in the slightest. In fact, it’s brought them closer together. Nothing makes you bond with someone more than hating the same person. God, I’m out of breath. That was a lot.MAFSStupidly obsessed with MAFS? Hey, no judgement here. Why not follow our brand new podcast We’ve Done The MAFS HERE and for a weekly dump of MAFS news to your inbox, sign up to our newsletter HERE.

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