FORT WORTH, Texas — Led by the Alan Greenspan of the NFL, Stephen Jones, the Dallas Cowboys have decided Dak Prescott is Aaron Rodgers, Tom Brady and Patrick Mahomes combined.
The Cowboys believe they can surround their $40 million quarterback with a crippled cricket and win football games in the National Football League.
While teams all over the NFL move and shake, the Cowboys have embraced their inner Mark Cuban and have opted to "keep their powder dry."
The Cowboys may not win the Super Bowl, but they are already the 2022 NFL Salary Cap World Champions.
Of all the disastrous moves the Cowboys have made in the last 25 years, this offseason thus far qualifies as 1 and 1A, but it is consistent with what has been the year from the deepest parts of football hell.
Enjoy this timeline, as narrated by Darth Vader.
— Jan. 2: Cowboys lose at home to the Arizona Cardinals, 25-22, as Mike McCarthy is out-coached by Kliff Kingsbury. The Cowboys commit 10 penalties for 88 yards. After the game, they blame the referees.
— Jan. 8: On the road in Philadelphia in the regular-season finale, where both teams play backups, the Cowboys defeat the Eagles, 51-26. We had no idea then that would be the high point of the year.
— Jan. 16: Cowboys host the San Francisco 49ers in an NFC wild-card game, and lose, 23-17. McCarthy and offensive coordinator Kellen Moore get an earful for the final play call of the game, which involved Prescott running a draw in the middle of the field with no timeouts. Dak never gets another play off.
The Cowboys commit 14 penalties for 89 yards, but punter Bryan Anger is 1-for-1 passing for 16 yards and a first down.
In the postgame press conference, Prescott says, "Credit to them," referring to the fans who threw objects towards the referees as they walked off the field.
— Jan. 18: Prescott apologizes for his comments about the officials.
— Jan. 25: New Orleans Saints coach and former Dallas Cowboys offensive assistant Sean Payton announces he's leaving the Saints.
— Feb. 2: Longtime Dallas Cowboys director of public relations Rich Dalrymple retires.
— Feb. 15: Speaking to the NFL Network's Rich Eisen, McCarthy responds to some of the offseason comments made by his boss, Jerry Jones, who has ranged from non-committal to full support since the season-ending loss to the 49ers. McCarthy said, "Are these narratives unusual? Definitely. I've never dealt with anything like this."
— Feb. 16: ESPN reports that the Cowboys organization paid four members of its cheerleading team a $2.4 million settlement after they accused Dalrymple of voyeurism during an alleged incident in 2015.
Dalrymple denied all accusations, and the Cowboys said that after they conducted an extensive investigation into the matter they did not find Dalrymple behaved unprofessionally.
— March 1: Prescott has surgery on his non-throwing shoulder. He had multiple surgeries on the ankle he fractured during the 2020 season. He had an issue with his throwing shoulder that kept him out of the entire 2021 preseason. He suffered a calf injury during the season that kept him out of one game, and affected him in others.
— March 12: The Cowboys trade wide receiver Amari Cooper to the Browns in exchange for a fifth-round draft pick. (The Cowboys traded their first-round pick to the Raiders in 2018 to acquire Cooper. Cooper lasted 56 games with the Cowboys, and 52 games with the Raiders.)
— March 13: Although he is recovering from a torn ACL suffered on Jan. 2 in the Week 17 loss to Arizona, wide receiver Michael Gallup signs a five-year, $62.5 million deal. It's doubtful he will be ready for the start of training camp.
— March 14: After he initially rejected a pay cut, the Dallas Cowboys agree to a new deal with defensive end Tank Lawrence, at three years and $30 million. Injuries limited Lawrence to seven games last season, and although he will be 30 he is their best pass rusher on the defensive line.
— March 14: Jerry Jones is named in a lawsuit that says he is the father of a young woman in Dallas, and that he paid the mother to keep it quiet. The young woman is suing to be legally recognized as Jerry Jones' child.
— March 15: After coming to terms with free agent Randy Gregory, the defensive end changes his mind and signs a contract with the Denver Broncos. Gregory was upset with a clause in the contract offered by the Cowboys that gives the club the right to void the deal if the player is fined or suspended by the NFL.
Gregory missed all of the 2017 and 2019 seasons because of NFL suspensions.
Despite being drafted in the second round by the Cowboys in 2015, last season was his first year as a starter. He has been in the NFL since 2015, and has only 12 career starts.
— March 17: Unable to find a trade partner, the Cowboys cut starting right tackle La'el Collins.
Collins was the prize catch for the Cowboys in the 2015 NFL draft class. Collins was projected as a top-10 pick, but because of uncertain off-the-field issues at LSU, no team selected him in the draft.
Shortly after the draft he was cleared of any potential legal issues, and he became the top NFL rookie free agent.
Jerry Jones recruited Collins to sign with the Cowboys to be a part of the best offensive line ever built. Collins was pretty good in his time with the Cowboys, but fell out of favor with this current coaching staff.
— March 17: The Miami Dolphins sign former Cowboys receiver Cedrick Wilson in free agency. Wilson had 45 receptions for 602 yards and six touchdowns last season as the third or fourth option for the Cowboys.
— March 22: At last a reason for hope — the Cowboys re-sign punter Bryan Anger to a three-year deal worth $9 million.
