Love Island returns with the promise of something new. There’s a shinier, larger villa! Unconscious bias training for the islanders! A switch-up of the opener format! But by the end of episode one, it’s clear that very little has actually changed. Bikinis still defy gravity. Favourite sex positions are discussed early doors. The words: “Do you feel old now? 24’s old” are uttered without irony. Watching at home, I accept that the days when I could apply for the show have passed me by, now that I’ve reached the crone-like age of 25.
Series eight opens with a twist, the public having already voted for which couples they want to pair up. The girls react in horror at the thought of being partnered with a man who is not – gasp – their type on paper. One by one, the boys learn their fate too. It makes for pretty laborious viewing and by the end, nobody looks thrilled.
