If you are an American hoping to ingratiate yourself with the local people while on a trip to London, I have some tips. First: smile at strangers on the train. You have to really try to hold eye contact with them; if they scuttle off at the next stop looking terrified, chase after them, asking how their day is going. Londoners love that. They also love it when you stand in the middle of the escalator, blocking their way; that is a great ice-breaker. If all else fails, loudly inform everyone that you are from the US. Everyone loves Americans!
The above is a hypothetical extract from whatever guidebook the globetrotting Hendrix family – who are from Chicago – must have read before visiting the UK recently. “We’ve travelled the world … but we’ve never felt such coldness as we did in London,” the aspiring influencers lamented in a viral Instagram post about British manners. “In a week there, not a single smile greeted us – not on the streets, not on the trains … For our kids, who are used to warm waves and friendly interactions, it was unsettling.” (Bizarrely, the post went on to say how much nicer the French were in Paris.) They then posted another video, showing their children getting on to an escalator in London and asking whether Londoners are “really mean”.
As a born and (partly) raised Londoner, I beg to differ. Londoners are very polite – they are just “big city polite”. The denser and busier the city, the more important respecting other people’s personal space becomes. If you live in London, then the politest thing you can do in a crowded public space is keep quiet and ignore everyone around you. While Americans tend to be more open to chatting to strangers than the English, rush-hour etiquette is the same in a city such as New York. Except for the fact that an American’s version of “quiet” is about 90 decibels higher than the average Briton’s.
If the Hendrix family really want to check out a city that prides itself on being rude, they should come to my current home town of Philadelphia. Almost a decade ago, a hitchhiking robot called hitchBOT made its way around Canada, the Netherlands and Germany, all thanks to the kindness of strangers who helped it along. Then it got to Philadelphia – and was promptly decapitated.
• Arwa Mahdawi is a Guardian columnist
