Lucy King and Lucy Hilton became friends through the very thing they’re hoping to improve for others: talking about what it’s actually like to be living with incurable cancer — a condition which, though life-changing, often has no visible sign.
The pair met through through Lloyds Pharmacy Clinical Homecare team in October and quickly realised they had a lot in common: they shared the same name, they’d had their initial diagnosis of colo-rectal cancer within the same fortnight, and both have the same incurable prognosis.
It was mother-of-two Hilton, 48, who first had the idea for a badge that might help to forge connections like hers with King, 61, another mother-of-two in a similar position.
She was on holiday with her husband in November and though outwardly she looked perfectly healthy, she spent most of the trip trying to hold back tears at the thought that this could be their last holiday. “I felt very isolated and wished there was a bridge to connect me to anyone else in the room in the same situation,” she remembers.
Hilton discussed this with King on her return and they hatched the idea for what they now call the Lucy badge: a simple but distincitve enamel pin badge, distributed free of charge through Macmillan and to be worn by those living with incurable cancer who would welcome a friendly hello from others on the same journey.
Together, they have come up with a design — the L not only reflecting their names, but also the loneliness they know can come with an incurable cancer diagnosis. The sun on the badge is to reflect the warmth that comes from connecting with others — something they both know the importance of all too well.
“The journey for those living with incurable cancer can be incredibly lonely and even isolating,” says King, who wrote a powerful piece about how to speak to someone with the disease after Dame Deborah James’ death last summer (spoiler: saying something is always better than nothing). She says some friends avoided her after her cancer news in 2020 for fear of saying the wrong thing, a fact that was far harder to accept than the seemingly endless round of operations, treatments and procedures she was having to go through.
“I can’t blame those friends,” she wrote at the time. “Talking about cancer still feels like a difficult subject for many people, despite current data suggesting that one in two of us will experience some form of cancer during our lifetime and therefore almost all of us being affected. And while professional help is available, I’ve quickly learnt that it’s the perceived support of family and friends that can be so vital in keeping spirits raised.”
King and Hilton quickly became close friends through their shared diagnosis, and know that many people in their position may not want to burden friends and family with dark thoughts and fears.
“Our badge is designed to be a visible sign of this — one likely to be known only by those on the same journey,” says King. “We hope that it may initiate helpful conversations and that 2023 will be the year people in our situation feel less alone.”
