Enough already. That’s it for today’s Clockwatch, a frantic business-end-of-the-season special. Thanks for your company, emails and songs; goodnight!
Match report: Liverpool 3-2 Nottm Forest
All five goals came in the second half at Anfield. Diogo Jota scored twice, Forest equalised twice, then Mo Salah scored the winner.
Match report: Brentford 1-1 Aston Villa
Douglas Luiz’s late equaliser earned Villa a point in a battle of the superbly coached overachievers at the Gtech Community Stadium.
FA Cup semi-final latest
After half an hour at Wembley it’s Manchester City 81-19 Sheffield United, and it’s goalless. Follow the game with Scott Murray.
“Please, let’s not have more philosophical references,” says Joe Pearson. “I had to read ‘The Myth of Sisyphus’ when I was in high school, and mentions of it still make me shudder.”
You do realise that when you enter purgatory you’ll be made to read it again and again and again for the next 971 years.
Match report: Crystal Palace 0-0 Everton
A game involving two of England’s better defensive coaches ended goalless. Ed Aarons was at Selhurst Park.
Match report: Leicester 2-1 Wolves
Timothy ‘George’ Castagne gave Leicester’s season the kiss of life with the winner against Wolves. Ben Fisher was there.
Selected League Two results
Orient are champions, Rochdale are relegated. Northampton are almost prom- no, let’s not go there, not after last season.
Barrow 0-1 Carlisle
Leyton Orient 2-0 Crewe
Mansfield 1-0 Stevenage
Northampton 3-1 Harrogate
Stockport 1-0 Rochdale
Walsall 2-3 Salford
Pos | Team | P | GD | Pts |
---|---|---|---|---|
1 | Leyton Orient | 43 | 29 | 87 |
2 | Northampton | 44 | 20 | 80 |
3 | Stevenage | 43 | 18 | 76 |
4 | Stockport County | 44 | 25 | 75 |
5 | Carlisle | 44 | 24 | 75 |
6 | Salford City | 44 | 18 | 72 |
7 | Bradford | 43 | 18 | 72 |
8 | Mansfield | 43 | 17 | 72 |
9 | Barrow | 44 | -3 | 62 |
10 | Swindon | 43 | 7 | 58 |
11 | Tranmere | 44 | -2 | 57 |
12 | Sutton Utd | 44 | -9 | 57 |
13 | Grimsby | 43 | -8 | 55 |
14 | Newport County | 43 | -3 | 53 |
15 | Gillingham | 44 | -13 | 52 |
16 | Doncaster | 44 | -19 | 52 |
17 | Walsall | 44 | -4 | 51 |
18 | Crewe | 42 | -12 | 51 |
19 | Colchester | 44 | -4 | 49 |
20 | AFC Wimbledon | 44 | -11 | 47 |
21 | Harrogate Town | 43 | -11 | 45 |
22 | Crawley Town | 44 | -22 | 45 |
23 | Hartlepool | 44 | -28 | 39 |
24 | Rochdale | 44 | -27 | 34 |
Selected League One results
Barnsley 2-0 Oxford
Peterborough 0-3 Ipswich
Plymouth 3-1 Cambridge
Sheff Wed 2-1 Exeter
Pos | Team | P | GD | Pts |
---|---|---|---|---|
1 | Plymouth | 43 | 30 | 92 |
2 | Ipswich | 43 | 57 | 91 |
3 | Sheff Wed | 44 | 40 | 90 |
4 | Barnsley | 43 | 38 | 85 |
5 | Bolton | 43 | 24 | 75 |
6 | Derby | 44 | 22 | 75 |
7 | Peterborough | 44 | 19 | 73 |
8 | Portsmouth | 44 | 11 | 68 |
9 | Wycombe | 44 | 11 | 68 |
10 | Lincoln City | 43 | 1 | 59 |
11 | Charlton | 44 | 3 | 58 |
12 | Fleetwood Town | 44 | 4 | 57 |
13 | Shrewsbury | 43 | -6 | 56 |
14 | Exeter | 44 | 1 | 53 |
15 | Bristol Rovers | 42 | -11 | 52 |
16 | Cheltenham | 43 | -15 | 50 |
17 | Port Vale | 44 | -20 | 49 |
18 | Burton Albion | 42 | -23 | 49 |
19 | Milton Keynes Dons | 44 | -22 | 43 |
20 | Oxford Utd | 43 | -13 | 41 |
21 | Morecambe | 44 | -31 | 41 |
22 | Cambridge Utd | 43 | -29 | 40 |
23 | Accrington Stanley | 43 | -38 | 38 |
24 | Forest Green | 44 | -53 | 27 |
Selected Championship full-times
Birmingham 0-1 Blackpool
Burnley 1-2 QPR
Cardiff 1-1 Stoke
Coventry 2-1 Reading
Norwich 0-3 Swansea
Wigan 2-1 Millwall
Pos | Team | P | GD | Pts |
---|---|---|---|---|
1 | Burnley | 43 | 47 | 92 |
2 | Sheff Utd | 42 | 29 | 82 |
3 | Luton | 43 | 17 | 75 |
4 | Middlesbrough | 43 | 30 | 74 |
5 | Coventry | 44 | 10 | 66 |
6 | Millwall | 44 | 7 | 65 |
7 | Blackburn | 42 | -2 | 64 |
8 | West Brom | 42 | 9 | 63 |
9 | Sunderland | 43 | 9 | 62 |
10 | Norwich | 44 | 5 | 62 |
11 | Swansea | 44 | 3 | 62 |
12 | Preston North End | 43 | -8 | 62 |
13 | Watford | 44 | 1 | 59 |
14 | Bristol City | 44 | -2 | 56 |
15 | Hull | 44 | -10 | 56 |
16 | Stoke | 44 | 4 | 53 |
17 | Birmingham | 44 | -8 | 53 |
18 | QPR | 44 | -26 | 47 |
19 | Rotherham | 43 | -11 | 46 |
20 | Cardiff | 43 | -14 | 46 |
21 | Huddersfield | 43 | -19 | 44 |
22 | Reading | 44 | -20 | 43 |
23 | Blackpool | 44 | -24 | 41 |
24 | Wigan | 44 | -27 | 40 |
Full time: Burnley 1-2 QPR An unforseeable victory for QPR, who have every chance of staying up now.
The updated Premier League table
I don’t know about you, but they’re putting the holes in, yes, yes I haven’t a clue which three teams are going down.
Pos | Team | P | GD | Pts |
---|---|---|---|---|
1 | Arsenal | 32 | 43 | 75 |
2 | Man City | 30 | 50 | 70 |
3 | Man Utd | 30 | 9 | 59 |
4 | Newcastle | 30 | 24 | 56 |
5 | Tottenham Hotspur | 31 | 12 | 53 |
6 | Aston Villa | 32 | 4 | 51 |
7 | Liverpool | 31 | 21 | 50 |
8 | Brighton | 29 | 17 | 49 |
9 | Fulham | 31 | 2 | 45 |
10 | Brentford | 32 | 5 | 44 |
11 | Chelsea | 31 | -3 | 39 |
12 | Crystal Palace | 32 | -9 | 37 |
13 | Wolverhampton | 32 | -17 | 34 |
14 | AFC Bournemouth | 31 | -28 | 33 |
15 | West Ham | 30 | -12 | 31 |
16 | Leeds | 32 | -21 | 29 |
17 | Leicester | 32 | -13 | 28 |
18 | Everton | 32 | -22 | 28 |
19 | Nottm Forest | 32 | -33 | 27 |
20 | Southampton | 32 | -29 | 24 |
Premier League full-times
Brentford 1-1 Aston Villa
Crystal Palace 0-0 Everton
Leicester City 2-1 Wolves
Liverpool 3-2 Nottm Forest
League Two Leyton Orient are champions after beating Crewe 2-0, and a semi-impromptu party is underway at Brisbane Road.
Updated
Full time: Brentford 1-1 Aston Villa
Villa’s winning run is over, as is Ollie Watkins’ scoring streak, but Douglas Luiz’s late equaliser did at least earn them a point. Ivan Toney had put Brentford ahead with a classy finish.
Full time: Leicester 2-1 Wolves
Leicester come from behind to win their first game since they hammered Spurs 4-1 on 11 February. It’s a huge victory for a few reasons: they went behind, they were without James Maddison – and results elsewhere mean they are out of the relegation places.
Full time: Crystal Palace 0-0 Everton
I told you this was the game to watch. Everton have dropped into the relegation places, but that’s still a decent point away to in-form Palace, especially as they had 10 men for the last 10-15 minutes.
Full time: Liverpool 3-2 Nottm Forest
Liverpool’s mini-revival continues after a ding-dong match at Anfield. Diogo Jota scored two before Mo Salah got the winner.
GOAL! Burnley 1-2 QPR (Martin 88) Blimey, Chris Martin has put QPR ahead again at Turf Moor. That means Burnley won’t clinch the title today and, even more importantly, that QPR are almost safe. Almost.
Updated
Liverpool 3-2 Nottm Forest “Loving the coverage and especially the Forest/Sisyphus reference,” says Matthew Morton. “The myth of which was immortalised by Albert Camus, famously a goalkeeper in Algiers and who said everything he learned about the human spirit has come from football. Can we please have more outlandish philosophy references?”
We can, but would you mind giving me a couple of decades to do some reading first? Algiers is a helluva song though, I’m with you on that. You were talking about the Afghan Whigs, right?
Updated
Brentford 1-1 Aston Villa The substitute Yoane Wissa has had a goal ruled out for offside.
GOAL! Brentford 1-1 Aston Villa (Douglas Luiz 87)
A bit of a sucker punch at Brentford, where Douglas Luiz has equalised against the run of play for Villa.
Updated
GOAL! Wigan 2-1 Millwall (Aasgard 84) Wigan aren’t going quietly into League One – Thelo Aasgaard has restored their lead against Millwall. They are going down, but not, as things stand, today.
Liverpool 3-2 Nottm Forest As things stand, with Aston Villa losing, Liverpool are up to sixth in the table – six points off a Champions League place having played a game more. They were in a not dissimilar position two years ago and ended up finishing third.
Scottish Premiership Steven Fletcher has made it Dundee Utd 2-0 Livingston. The great escape is on!
GOAL! Peterborough 0-3 Ipswich (Ladapo 82) This is a helluva result for Ipswich, who are also on course for yet another clean sheet.
Live scoreboard
Don’t forget that you can see all the latest scores on our live scoreboard. I’m pretty confident I’ve missed at least one important goal somewhere, so it’s well worth bookmarking that page.
Premier League latest
Fulham 2-1 Leeds (FT)
Brentford 1-0 Aston Villa
Crystal Palace 0-0 Everton
Leicester City 2-1 Wolves
Liverpool 3-2 Nottm Forest
GOALS! Burnley 1-1 QPR (Benson 76), Sheff Wed 2-1 Exeter (Paterson 74)
“The non-celebration celebration, while daft, does at least provide virtuous contrast to the over the top celebration against your old team,” says Niall Mullen. “Adebayor against Arsenal being my absolute favourite.”
What made that celebration even funnier – and it was hilarious on its own terms – is the emphatic petulance of Garth Crooks on Final Score (see below).
The unjustly maligned Crooks defended Adebayor and, when Bright said that it wasn’t in the spirit of the game, snapped back with the sort of gloriously petty response you can only summon when you have completely lost it and no longer care about the consequences: “Was you breaking Andy Linighan’s nose with an elbow in the FA Cup final in the spirit of the game?!”
Updated
Crystal Palace 0-0 Everton: Holgate sent off
Mason Holgate, who was brought into the side today, has been given a second yellow card for a foul on Jordan Ayew.
Updated
Liverpool 3-2 Nottm Forest Brennan Johnson, fresh off the bench, has just hit the crossbar for Forest!
GOAL! Leicester 2-1 Wolves (Castagne 75)
A vital goal for Leicester. Timothy Castagne has put them ahead, against the run of play apparently, and as things stand they are out of the relegation places.
Pos | Team | P | GD | Pts |
---|---|---|---|---|
16 | Leeds | 32 | -21 | 29 |
17 | Everton | 32 | -22 | 28 |
18 | Nottm Forest | 32 | -33 | 27 |
19 | Leicester | 32 | -14 | 26 |
20 | Southampton | 32 | -29 | 24 |
Updated
Peterborough 0-2 Ipswich
“A little love for the mighty Ipswich Town?” says Kevin Chase. “Wrexham aren’t the only club in love with their American owners who have come in with some cash, understood the community and got the football club rocking.
“As things stand we need just one more win from the final three games to go up. Average attendance has been over 26,000 helped by kids tickets for £7 and after some unsuccessful appointments of young managers called Paul, Kieran McKenna has got us playing some amazing football with the best goal difference in the top four divisions.”
In other League One news, Niall Ennis has put Plymouth 3-1 up at home to Cambridge and Sheffield Wednesday have equalised at home to Exeter.
Updated
GOAL! Liverpool 3-2 Nottm Forest (Salah 70)
Liverpool take the lead for the third time! Trent Alexander-Arnold’s excellent free-kick is finished with aplomb by Mo Salah, and now Forest know how Sisyphus felt.
Updated
“A huge part of the non-celebration ritual must be to remind people you used to play for a big club,” says Phil Podolsky. “Sometimes it’s a welcome reminder: for years I’ve been trying to recall the name of a winger who had one good game for Barcelona as a teenager under Van Gaal. It was only when a 30-something journeyman not-celebrated a goal against Pep’s Barca that I recognised the name (which I’ve long since forgotten).”
Full time: Mainz 3-1 Bayern
Another wretched away trip for Bayern, who will be knocked off the top of the Bundesliga if Dortmund win at home to Frankfurt tonight.
Pos | Team | P | GD | Pts |
---|---|---|---|---|
1 | Bayern Munich | 29 | 46 | 59 |
2 | Borussia Dortmund | 28 | 23 | 57 |
3 | Union Berlin | 28 | 12 | 52 |
4 | RB Leipzig | 28 | 18 | 51 |
5 | Freiburg | 28 | 4 | 50 |
GOAL! Liverpool 2-2 Nottm Forest (Gibbs-White 68)
Forest have equalised for the second time! It sounds like a technically superb volley from Morgan Gibbs-White, swished past Alisson with the aid of a slight deflection.
Updated
GOAL! Brentford 1-0 Aston Villa (Toney 65)
The big man has scored again, finishing expertly from Bryan Mbuemo’s cross. Meanwhile…
Updated
GOAL! Burnley 0-1 QPR (Field 58)
Blimey, QPR are ahead at Turf Moor through Sam Field. That would be one of the more unlikely results of the Championship season.
Talking of QPR, have a look at this. Not the lead question; that has bugger all to do with them.
Updated
Premier League latest
Fulham 2-1 Leeds (FT)
Brentford 0-0 Aston Villa
Crystal Palace 0-0 Everton
Leicester City 1-1 Wolves
Liverpool 2-1 Nottm Forest
GOALS GALORE!
Right, it’s now Coventry 2-1 Reading in the Championship, and Conor Chaplin has made it Peterborough 0-2 Ipswich in League One.
Updated
“Don’t hold me to this,” says Dan Naylor, “but I believe Beckham played right back in a back four once. It was in the 2nd half against Trinidad and Tobago at the 2006 World Cup, as England had all of the ball but couldn’t break through until almost the end of the game. Can’t find Sven’s quote about moving him there but he almost definitely played half a game at right back.”
That’s some good knowledge. I was at one of my many leaving dos and had reluctantly sacrificed tactics at the altar of getting hammered on Magners.
League One It looks even more likely now: Joe Edwards has made it Plymouth 2-1 Cambridge.
League One A couple of important goals at the top: Barnsley lead Oxford 2-0, and Sheffield Wednesdya are trailing 1-0 at home to Exeter. Wednesday have gone to seed in the last month or so, and it looks increasingly likely that they’ll be in the playoffs.
Brentford 0-0 Aston Villa Kevin Schade has missed an open goal for Brentford, it says here.
Updated
GOAL! Liverpool 2-1 Nottm Forest (Jota 55)
Diogo Jota gets his second of the game and his fourth of the week, finishing coolly from Andy Robertson’s free-kick. It sounds like Forest’s defending was on the shambolic side of egregious.
Updated
Bundesliga The last time I looked, Bayern were 1-0 up at Mainz. They’re now 3-1 down and in all sorts! Mainz scored three goals in 15 minutes, and it looks like Bayern’s miserable start under Thomas Tuchel is going to continue.
Brentford 0-0 Aston Villa Emi Martinez has gone off injured, with Robin Olsen replacing him.
“Friend’s son’s bands,” says Mark Wagstaff. “As we are on the subject…
“I had a suspicion that all the Unai Emery love in the Guardian this week would result in one of the more insipid Aston Villa first halves for a while. Hoping for a bit more in the second.”
Let’s make that the end of today’s hit parade. I’m looking forward to listening to them all (and if any of you have a friend whose son is in Chalk, can I have tickets please), but the second halves are always a frantic shambles and I’m worried somebody will send a link to hardcore bongo, tell me it’s their friend’s son band, and I’ll innocently post it and be unemployed by sundown.
GOAL! Liverpool 1-1 Nottm Forest (Williams 51)
Well I never! Neco Williams has scored against his old club with a deflected shot. He doesn’t celebrate, with it being against his former club, and that performative nonsense really has to stop doesn’t it.
GOAL! Liverpool 1-0 Nottm Forest (Jota 47)
Diogo Jota missed a sitter in the first half; this time he has scored from close range to give Liverpool the lead. They’re going to finish in the top five, aren’t they, maybe even the top four.
Updated
“Trent is clearly an amazing footballer,” says Tom Walling. “He does things with a football that few others can. Above all weight of pass and imagination. But does he suffer from being neither full back nor midfielder? I don’t know. I feel like he should be more appreciated. Does Klippety know how to use him? This new hybrid role suits him, I think. Hope it sticks. He’s too talented to be used a stick with which to beat Klopp or Liverpool through tribal idiocy.”
He feels like a wing-back in full-back’s clothing. He’s far too good not to excel, wherever he plays, and if Liverpool can find another Jordan Henderson I think he’ll probably be okay at full-back. All this excitement about his new role – it’s more pronounced, for sure, but hasn’t he been wandering into midfield for the last five years?
He’s a fascinating player, maybe even unique. There have even better attacking full-backs, but I can’t think of any with Alexander-Arnold’s ability to manipulate the ball. The obvious comparisons, certainly in English football on that side of the field, are David Beckham and Kevin De Bruyne. Beckham played as a wing-back for England under Glenn Hoddle but never, as far as I’m aware, in a back four.
FA Cup semi-final: Man City v Sheff Utd
The first FA Cup semi-final kicks off at 4.45pm local time. Scott Murray has the team news (spoiler: Beast starts).
Women’s Champions League: Chelsea 0-1 Barcelona
Selected League Two half-times
Barrow 0-1 Carlisle
Mansfield 1-0 Stevenage
Northampton 3-1 Harrogate
Stockport 0-0 Rochdale
Selected Championship half-times
Birmingham 0-0 Blackpool
Burnley 0-0 QPR
Cardiff 1-1 Stoke
Coventry 1-0 Reading
Norwich 0-2 Swansea
Wigan 1-1 Millwall
Updated
Half time
It’s all fairly quiet in the Premier League, with only two goals in the four 3pm games. These are the half-time scores.
Brentford 0-0 Aston Villa
Crystal Palace 0-0 Everton
Leicester City 1-1 Wolves
Liverpool 0-0 Nottm Forest
Selected League One half-times
Peterborough 0-1 Ipswich
Plymouth 1-1 Cambridge
Sheff Wed 0-0 Exeter
“Will the real Liverpool please - finally, finally - stand up? Free-scoring goal monsters or impotent rabble?” says Joseph Arafa. “It’s playing havoc with my Fantasy Football decision-making. Hoping Diaz gets on the pitch mind you.
“As we’re discussing friend’s son’s bands with singles just out in all the usual spots: I’ve got one of those too. Any chance of a shout out as well? And to Neill Brown - have you been to one of their gigs yet? Simultaneously the youngest I’ve felt in a while (proximity to boundless youthful energy) and the oldest I’ve felt, ever (pressed to the wall holding a pint whilst kids pogo 10 yards away).”
“Almost exactly 35 years since this,” says Niall Mullen. “Thirty-five years man, where has it gone? Anyway, I doubt Sir Tom Finney would be quite as effusive about Liverpool’s performance today.”
It’s a lovely tribute, Sir Tom, but can you slag someone off so we can use it on the socials?
Premier League latest
Brentford 0-0 Aston Villa
Crystal Palace 0-0 Everton
Leicester City 1-1 Wolves
Liverpool 0-0 Nottm Forest
Brentford 0-0 Aston Villa
“I opted to watch Brentford - Aston Villa, and it’s been fairly dull,” boasts Kári Tulinius. “Two good teams negating each other. It threatens to entertain every once in a while, but then the defences sort themselves out and deal with it. It’s not quite sh1t on a stick, but Jorge Valdano certainly wouldn’t be raving about the quality of the spectacle.”
Championship A few scores of note:
Norwich 0-2 Swansea
Coventry 1-0 Reading
The race for the last two playoff places is exquisitely tight.
Pos | Team | P | GD | Pts |
---|---|---|---|---|
1 | Burnley | 43 | 48 | 93 |
2 | Sheff Utd | 42 | 29 | 82 |
3 | Luton | 43 | 17 | 75 |
4 | Middlesbrough | 43 | 30 | 74 |
5 | Coventry | 44 | 10 | 66 |
6 | Millwall | 44 | 8 | 66 |
7 | Blackburn | 42 | -2 | 64 |
8 | West Brom | 42 | 9 | 63 |
9 | Sunderland | 43 | 9 | 62 |
10 | Norwich | 44 | 6 | 62 |
11 | Swansea | 44 | 2 | 62 |
12 | Preston North End | 43 | -8 | 62 |
13 | Watford | 44 | 1 | 59 |
14 | Bristol City | 44 | -2 | 56 |
15 | Hull | 44 | -10 | 56 |
16 | Birmingham | 44 | -7 | 54 |
17 | Stoke | 44 | 4 | 53 |
18 | Rotherham | 43 | -11 | 46 |
19 | Cardiff | 43 | -14 | 46 |
20 | QPR | 44 | -27 | 45 |
21 | Huddersfield | 43 | -19 | 44 |
22 | Reading | 44 | -20 | 43 |
23 | Blackpool | 44 | -25 | 39 |
24 | Wigan | 44 | -28 | 38 |
Liverpool 0-0 Nottm Forest Diogo Jota has just missed a terrific chance, heading wide from Trent Alexander-Arnold’s cross.
Updated
“The OTHER thing about doing line-ups by squad numbers (and most upsetting for my OCD) is it’s totally inconsistent,” says Mark Hooper, “because the goalie is always listed first, even if (in Forest’s case) his squad number is 12.”
Here’s a special torture for you.
GOAL! Leicester 1-1 Wolves (Ihenanacho 37 pen)
A nerveless penalty from Kelechi Iheanacho brings Leicester level! This is what it means at the bottom of the table.
Pos | Team | P | GD | Pts |
---|---|---|---|---|
16 | Leeds | 32 | -21 | 29 |
17 | Everton | 32 | -22 | 28 |
18 | Nottm Forest | 32 | -32 | 28 |
19 | Leicester | 32 | -14 | 26 |
20 | Southampton | 32 | -29 | 24 |
Updated
Leicester 0-1 Wolves Vardy is still down. Apparently Jose Sa slipped into Vardy, so maybe I shouldn’t have called it a brainfade, especially as I’m not even watching the game.
Crystal Palace 0-0 Everton Palace have dominated, but Sam Johnstone – who is far too good to be a back-up keeper – has just made a brilliant save to deny Alex Iwobi.
Penalty to Leicester! Jose Sa has had one of his occasional brainfades, needlessly taking out Jamie Vardy, and Leicester have a big chance to equalise.
Updated
Championship/League One George Saville has equalised for Millwall at Wigan, as has Sam Smith for Cambridge at Plymouth. As things stand, a) Wigan are down and b) Ipswich are top of League One.
Leicester 0-1 Wolves “It’s all Wolves,” says Tim Sherwood on Soccer Saturday. The good news for Leicester, Leeds, Southampton, Forest and Everton – who are all struggling, big-time – is that only three of them can go down. Based on last night, I fancy Southampton’s chances of staying up.
“The Guardian should buy one of the fishing boats sidelined by Brexit, hire a hacker that could steal the feed from Peacock and start a pirate-radio style setup so the MBM writers can view all the fixtures and work around the blackout,” says Mary Waltz. “Power to the people!!!!”
Boats, you say.
Leicester 0-1 Wolves “Just as I opened this email, Tielemans decided to be dozy and Wolves are one up,” weeps Graham Randall. “This team is intent on shooting ourselves in the foot every game. Everyone else in the bottom six or so seems to have some fight, not this team. No leaders in this team at all. Vardy is a shadow of his former self and is done at this level. Championship is fun though!”
James Maddison is a leader, no? I can’t get my head round what has happened to a) Youri Tielemans and b) Leicester.
Premier League latest
Brentford 0-0 Aston Villa
Crystal Palace 0-0 Everton
Leicester City 0-1 Wolves
Liverpool 0-0 Nottm Forest
Scottish Premiership Callum McGregor’s deflected strike has put Celtic ahead against Motherwell. They can’t win the league today, but it’s in the post.
Updated
Liverpool 0-0 Nottm Forest Michael Dawson, on Sky Sports, says Forest have been “fairly comfortable” so far.
“My OCD is angrily triggered when lineups and listed by number or alphabet!” says Francisco Oyarzo. “Anyone who loves football should have a decent knowledge about how clubs lineup: goalie to striker and right to left. Don’t get where the issue is with such a simple task!”
You say it’s a simple task, but have you watched Manchester City lately? (I agree with you though, I get inordinately stressed if centre-backs are listed the wrong way round. And that part should be fairly simple.)
Championship You can follow all the games on our live scoreboard, but it’s worth mentioning a couple of early goals:
Wigan 1-0 Millwall (Keane 14)
Cardiff 0-1 Stoke (Laurent 16)
Updated
League One The top two are both 1-0 up: Plymouth at home to Cambridge, Ipswich away to Peterborough. Sheffield Wednesday’s game at home to Exeter is goalless.
National League Notts County are already 2-0 up at Maidstone, so it looks like Wrexham will have to beat Boreham Wood tonight to secure promotion to the EFL.
Bundesliga: Mainz 0-1 Bayern Sadio Mane’s goal, an easy header from Joao Cancelo’s perfect cross, is his first since October - when he scored in a 6-2 win over, yep, Mainz.
Updated
GOAL! Leicester 0-1 Wolves (Cunha 13)
Youri Tielemans loses the ball in a dangerous area to Mario Lemina, allowing Matheus Cunha to collect the loose ball and crash it into the far corner. That’s a cracking finish, but a grim mistake from Tielemans. Leicester are actually going down, aren’t they?
Updated
Crystal Palace 0-0 Everton Palace have started well, it says here, and Jordan Ayew has just missed a decent chance from Michael Olise’s cross.
Match report: Fulham 2-1 Leeds
John Brewin was at Craven Cottage to watch Leeds lose their third game in a row.
“A simple request,” says Mark Hooper. “Could other teams please adopt the Liverpool policy of listing their line-ups in order, from goalie to strikers, rather than squad numbers?”
Ah but even Liverpool don’t have the players in the correct order from right to left. No, I’m not proud of myself: not now, not ever.
Liverpool 0-0 Nottm Forest
“Forest really have very little chance today,” says Martin Widdicks. “Even at our best we were unable to win there (last win at Anfield was in ‘69). I know that Liverpool fans have a soft spot for the 5-0 in 1988 but the one that smarts the most was the 1996 one after Collymore had left.
“Forest went 2-0 up early and then just a glimmer of hope was visible, and I think we know all about hope…. Today I have very little hope being all old and cynical but I’ll watch anyway (I’m in the US now).”
I suppose the 0-0 in 1978 was a victory of sorts, but I didn’t realise you hadn’t actually won there since 1969.
Bundesliga The leaders Bayern have a tricky game at Mainz this afternoon. Sadio Mane, back in the starting line-up, has just put them ahead in the 29th minute. It looks like Thomas Tuchel has switched to a back three, with Sane, Gnabry and Coman all on the bench.
Updated
Peep peep! It’s Saturday, it’s 3pm, it’s the lottery.
“As an overseaser,” says Neill Brown. “I have the privilege of which match to choose at 12am/3pm; what one would you go for? Also, would you mind giving a shout out to my friend’s son’s band (a sentence that should make us all feel old)? Their new single was released yesterday and can be streamed in all the usual places.”
I would not mind one bit, and will listen myself when this thing of ours has finished. As for the game, I think – and I didn’t think I’d be saying this a month ago – I would watch Roy Hodgson’s free-flowing Crystal Palace.
Scottish Premiership
“Afternoon Rob,” writes Simon McMahon. “After looking doomed three weeks ago, crucial wins against Hibs and Motherwell have seen high flying Dundee United move out of the relegation and play-off places and into 10th spot, ahead of Kilmarnock and Ross County.
“A win against top six-chasing Livingston at Tannadice today would see United record three straight wins in the league for the first time this season, and edge them closer to safety (Hearts beat Ross County 6-1 in the early kick-off). It would also be further proof that Jim Goodwin is indeed the Messiah.
“Other games are St. Mirren (come on you Saints) v Kilmarnock (boo) and St. Johnstone (boo) v Hibs (come on you Hibees).”
This is the beginning of the end for the humble, clueless, reliant-on-other-people-to-watch-the games Saturday Clockwatch.
Chelsea latest
I’m not sure I’d go anywhere near that job in the current climate.
Updated
“Do excuse the nostalgia and accept heartfelt thanks for the pic of Digger Barnes in his redmen prime,” says Ian Copestake. “I stopped going to football games after Hillsborough but treasure the memory of seeing JB score stunners at Anfield and generally just mesmerise us with his close control and thighs.”
Please tell me you were there for the QPR goal.
Full time: Fulham 2-1 Leeds
A third straight defeat for Leeds, who are in serious bother for the second year in a row.
“Afternoon Rob,” writes David Alderton. “The top of the League One table has been a proper rollercoaster. Meanwhile Barnsley have seemingly become a proper model of consistency, and I think whichever of the top three fail to gain automatic promotion will probably lose against them in the playoffs. Wednesday having played one more game than Argyle and Ipswich is rattling my nerves somewhat. It’s been a season so far.”
Full time: Chelsea 0-1 Barcelona
Chelsea have it all to do on Thursday after a difficult afternoon at Stamford Bridge. Caroline Graham Hansen’s majestic early goal settled the first leg of their Champions League semi-final, and it sounds like Barcelona could have won by more.
Scottish Premiership
Hearts are ending a run of five straight defeats in style. They are hammering the bottom club Ross County 6-0, with Lawrence Shankland scoring a hat-trick.
Liverpool v Nottm Forest team news
Steve Cooper has picked a cautious Forest team, with Brennan Johnson dropped to the bench. Orel Mangala replaces him.
Liverpool, who plugged Leeds 6-1 on Monday, are unchanged.
Liverpool (4-3-3) Alisson; Alexander-Arnold, Konate, van Dijk, Robertson; Henderson, Fabinho, Jones; Salah, Gakpo, Jota.
Subs: Gomez, Thiago, Milner, Elliott, Tsimikas, Diaz, Nunez, Matip, Kelleher.
Nottm Forest (5-3-1-1) Navas; Williams, Felipe, Niakhate, McKenna, Renan Lodi; Mangala, Danilo, Freuler; Gibbs-White; Awoniyi.
Subs: Worrall, Lingard, Hennessey, Toffolo, Surridge, Johnson, Dennis, Ayew, Hammond.
Referee Michael Oliver (Northumberland)
Updated
GOAL! Fulham 2-1 Leeds (Bamford 79)
Patrick Bamford has given Leeds a sniff at Craven Cottage.
Leicester City v Wolves team news
There’s no James Maddison (unwell) for Leicester, which is such an obviously big blow that I feel like an idiot saying it’s a big blow. Dean Smith has picked all three of his strikers – Kelechi Iheanacho, Patson Daka and Jamie Vardy.
Leicester Iversen, Castagne, Soyuncu, Faes, Kristiansen, Tielemans, Soumare, Tete, Iheanacho, Daka, Vardy.
Subs: Ward, Souttar, Amartey, Dewsbury-Hall, Mendy, Ndidi, Praet, Thomas, Marcal-Madivadua.
Wolverhampton Jose Sa, Nelson Semedo, Dawson, Kilman, Gomes, Matheus Luiz, Joao Gomes, Lemina, Sarabia, Matheus Cunha, Costa.
Subs: Collins, Pedro Neto, Neves, Daniel Podence, Hwang, Bentley, Joao Moutinho, Adama Traore, Bueno.
Referee Darren England (South Yorkshire)
Updated
Brentford v Aston Villa team news
Thomas Frank brings in Vitaly Janelt for Josh Dasilva. Villa are unchanged.
Brentford (4-3-3) Raya; Hickey, Pinnock, Mee, Henry; Jensen, Norgaard, Janelt; Mbeumo, Toney, Schade.
Subs: Dasilva, Wissa, Jorgensen, Ghoddos, Onyeka, Damsgaard, Baptiste, Roerslev, Cox.
Aston Villa (4-2-3-1) Martinez; Ashley Young, Konsa, Mings, Alex Moreno; Dendoncker; Douglas Luiz; McGinn, Buendia, Ramsey; Watkins.
Subs: Diego Carlos, Traore, Chambers, Duran, Olsen, Digne,
Sinisalo, Revan, Patterson.
Referee Michael Salisbury (Lancashire)
Updated
Crystal Palace v Everton team news
A boost for Everton: Dominic Calvert-Lewin, who has been out since the first week of February, starts up front. He replaces Neal Maupay, and Mason Holgate comes in at right-back for Ben Godfrey.
Palace are unchanged, and you’d jolly well hope so given their recent form.
Crystal Palace (4-3-3) Johnstone; Ward, Andersen, Guehi, Mitchell; Eze, Doucoure, Schlupp; Olise, Edouard, Ayew.
Subs: Milivojevic, Tomkins, Sambi Lokonga, Guaita, Mateta, McArthur, Hughes, Richards, Riedewald.
Everton (possible 4-4-2) Pickford; Holgate, Keane, Tarkowski, Mykolenko; Iwobi, Garner, Gueye, McNeil; Calvert-Lewin, Gray.
Subs: Patterson, Mina, Begovic, Maupay, Godfrey, Davies, Coady, Lonergan, Simms.
Referee John Brooks (Leicestershire)
Updated
GOAL! Fulham 2-0 Leeds (Andreas 72) Leeds are heading for a third straight defeat, and Fulham aren’t yet out of the race for a European place.
GOAL! Fulham 1-0 Leeds (Wilson 58)
Harry Wilson has belted the home side ahead at Craven Cottage.
Brentford v Aston Villa
They’ll have played more games than the teams around them, it’s true, but if Villa win at Brentford today they will be three points off a Champions League place.
Pre-match reading
“Dearest, Rob,” writes, Liverpool, fan, Ian Copestake. “I have a frien...acquaintance who has let it be known that if his and my own team loses against Forest this will be a good thing because it may cause Everton to circle the drain. I tell you I am shocked by the lack of neighbourliness.”
Premier League: Fulham 0-0 Leeds (52 min)
Move along, nothing to see here.
National League
Wrexham will return to the EFL if Notts County lose at Maidstone. If County get a result, Wrexham can clinch promotion by beating Boreham Wood tonight.
League Two
Leyton Orient have already been promoted. Stevenage, in third but with a game in hand on Northampton, could join them if they win at Mansfield and results elsewhere go their way.
Rochdale will be relegated unless they win at Stockport, and even that might not be enough.
Pos | Team | P | GD | Pts |
---|---|---|---|---|
1 | Leyton Orient | 42 | 27 | 84 |
2 | Northampton | 43 | 18 | 77 |
3 | Stevenage | 42 | 19 | 76 |
4 | Stockport County | 43 | 24 | 72 |
5 | Carlisle | 43 | 23 | 72 |
6 | Bradford | 42 | 18 | 71 |
7 | Salford City | 43 | 17 | 69 |
8 | Mansfield | 42 | 16 | 69 |
9 | Barrow | 43 | -2 | 62 |
10 | Sutton Utd | 43 | -6 | 57 |
11 | Swindon | 42 | 3 | 55 |
12 | Grimsby | 42 | -6 | 55 |
13 | Tranmere | 43 | -4 | 54 |
14 | Doncaster | 43 | -17 | 52 |
15 | Walsall | 43 | -3 | 51 |
16 | Crewe | 41 | -10 | 51 |
17 | Gillingham | 43 | -13 | 51 |
18 | Newport County | 42 | -5 | 50 |
19 | AFC Wimbledon | 43 | -7 | 47 |
20 | Colchester | 43 | -7 | 46 |
21 | Harrogate Town | 42 | -9 | 45 |
22 | Crawley Town | 43 | -24 | 42 |
23 | Hartlepool | 43 | -26 | 39 |
24 | Rochdale | 43 | -26 | 34 |
League One
None of the top three – Plymouth, Ipswich and Sheffield Wednesday – can clinch automatic promotion, but they all have huge games.
Forest Green have already been relegated; none of the other teams at the bottom can join them today.
Pos | Team | P | GD | Pts |
---|---|---|---|---|
1 | Plymouth | 42 | 28 | 89 |
2 | Ipswich | 42 | 54 | 88 |
3 | Sheff Wed | 43 | 39 | 87 |
4 | Barnsley | 42 | 36 | 82 |
5 | Peterborough | 43 | 22 | 73 |
6 | Bolton | 42 | 23 | 72 |
7 | Derby | 43 | 21 | 72 |
8 | Wycombe | 43 | 13 | 68 |
9 | Portsmouth | 43 | 10 | 65 |
10 | Charlton | 43 | 4 | 58 |
11 | Lincoln City | 42 | -1 | 56 |
12 | Shrewsbury | 42 | -5 | 56 |
13 | Fleetwood Town | 43 | 3 | 54 |
14 | Exeter | 43 | 2 | 53 |
15 | Bristol Rovers | 41 | -9 | 52 |
16 | Burton Albion | 41 | -22 | 49 |
17 | Cheltenham | 42 | -17 | 47 |
18 | Port Vale | 43 | -22 | 46 |
19 | Milton Keynes Dons | 43 | -21 | 43 |
20 | Oxford Utd | 42 | -11 | 41 |
21 | Cambridge Utd | 42 | -27 | 40 |
22 | Morecambe | 43 | -32 | 38 |
23 | Accrington Stanley | 42 | -37 | 38 |
24 | Forest Green | 43 | -51 | 27 |
Championship
Burnley will clinch the title if they win at home to QPR
Middlesbrough, who meet Luton on Monday, could clinch a playoff place depending on results elsewhere.
Wigan will be relegated if they lose at home to Millwall, and they could go down with a draw.
Blackpool could be relegated if they lose at Birmingham.
Pos | Team | P | GD | Pts |
---|---|---|---|---|
1 | Burnley | 42 | 48 | 92 |
2 | Sheff Utd | 42 | 29 | 82 |
3 | Luton | 43 | 17 | 75 |
4 | Middlesbrough | 43 | 30 | 74 |
5 | Millwall | 43 | 8 | 65 |
6 | Blackburn | 42 | -2 | 64 |
7 | West Brom | 42 | 9 | 63 |
8 | Coventry | 43 | 9 | 63 |
9 | Sunderland | 43 | 9 | 62 |
10 | Norwich | 43 | 8 | 62 |
11 | Preston North End | 43 | -8 | 62 |
12 | Watford | 43 | 2 | 59 |
13 | Swansea | 43 | 0 | 59 |
14 | Bristol City | 43 | -3 | 53 |
15 | Birmingham | 43 | -7 | 53 |
16 | Hull | 43 | -11 | 53 |
17 | Stoke | 43 | 4 | 52 |
18 | Rotherham | 42 | -10 | 46 |
19 | Cardiff | 42 | -14 | 45 |
20 | Huddersfield | 43 | -19 | 44 |
21 | QPR | 43 | -27 | 44 |
22 | Reading | 43 | -19 | 43 |
23 | Blackpool | 43 | -25 | 38 |
24 | Wigan | 43 | -28 | 37 |
Women's Champions League latest
Chelsea took out the holders Lyon but Barcelona always felt like an even tougher game. So it is proving: Caroline Graham Hansen’s spectacular early goal has given them a 1-0 half-time lead at Stamford Bridge. You can follow the second half with Daniel Gallan.
Updated
Premier League
Four of the bottom five are in action, all both grateful for and alarmed by Southampton’s result at the Emirates last night. The relegation-battle escapees, Crystal Palace (at home to Everton) and Wolves (away to Leicester), will surely be safe if they win.
It feels like a particularly important day for Leicester, who need to arrest their slide ahead of two gigantic matches next week: Leeds away on Tuesday and Everton at home on Saturday.
Pos | Team | P | GD | Pts |
---|---|---|---|---|
1 | Arsenal | 32 | 43 | 75 |
2 | Man City | 30 | 50 | 70 |
3 | Man Utd | 30 | 9 | 59 |
4 | Newcastle | 30 | 24 | 56 |
5 | Tottenham Hotspur | 31 | 12 | 53 |
6 | Aston Villa | 31 | 4 | 50 |
7 | Brighton | 29 | 17 | 49 |
8 | Liverpool | 30 | 20 | 47 |
9 | Brentford | 31 | 5 | 43 |
10 | Fulham | 31 | 1 | 43 |
11 | Chelsea | 31 | -3 | 39 |
12 | Crystal Palace | 31 | -9 | 36 |
13 | Wolverhampton | 31 | -16 | 34 |
14 | AFC Bournemouth | 31 | -28 | 33 |
15 | West Ham | 30 | -12 | 31 |
16 | Leeds | 32 | -20 | 30 |
17 | Everton | 31 | -22 | 27 |
18 | Nottm Forest | 31 | -32 | 27 |
19 | Leicester | 31 | -14 | 25 |
20 | Southampton | 32 | -29 | 24 |
Preamble
Hello and welcome to another bumper, nerve-shredding Saturday Clockwatch. It’s stressful enough being a neutral at this time of the season, so goodness knows how it feels to be a fan of, well, just about anybody. It’s all up for grabs, with dead rubbers conspicuous by their absence.
We’ll be focussing on the Premier League this afternoon, as is our elitist wont, but we’ll also be keeping our spare eye on the promotions and relegations that will be confirmed in the EFL. There’s also a Women’s Champions League semi-final, and a chance for the leaders in Scotland and Germany to move closer to another title.
These are the Premier League games, all 3pm kick-offs apart from the first one.
Brentford v Aston Villa
Crystal Palace v Everton
Leicester City v Wolves
Liverpool v Nottm Forest
You can see all the other fixtures on our live scores page. I’m not going to type them out, because my fingers have done little to deserve such punishment. Instead, let’s go through what’s at stake today.