Brian Clough made Mark Crossley play a Sunday league game as a ringer to keep him grounded after his memorable Nottingham Forest debut against Liverpool.
And when AC Hunters of the Derbyshire Sunday league fifth division - whose unheralded cast included Clough's eldest son Simon – were fined £50 for fielding an unregistered player, Old Big 'Ead docked Crossley's wages to cover the damage.
We all miss the genius of Clough's man-management, but Wembley will be awash with nostalgia when the family 'firm' takes over Wembley this weekend. If Mansfield's League Two play-off final against Port Vale is the warm-up act, with Nigel Clough going for only his second promotion in 661 games as an EFL manager, Forest's £180 million shoot-out with Huddersfield is history in the making.
It is 30 years since Forest's last march on Wembley under the Clough banner. Now, with Premier League loot within touching distance, ex-players and fans hope they can summon a fitting tribute to the greatest manager England never had. Crossley, who saved a penalty in the 1991 FA Cup final and was the only man to deny Matt Le Tissier from the spot in 48 attempts, believes current Forest keeper Brice Samba could be the key if it goes to a shoot-out.
These days he tells the story of his Forest debut as a 19-year-old on the after-dinner circuit. It's a spellbinding anecdote about a masterclass of psychology worthy of any rubber chicken. “We were playing Liverpool, the champions, at home and as an apprentice my job that night was to turn up the central heating in the away dressing room to full blast - to dehydrate them," chortled the man christened 'Norm' by team-mate Stuart Pearce because of a passing resemblance to Manchester United legend Norman Whiteside.
“I'd had fish and chips for my tea on the way to the ground without realising it would be my pre-match meal because I only found out I was playing 45 minutes before kick-off. Steve Sutton had gone down with a virus, Hans Segers was out on loan and Paul Crichton was injured, so I was the only 'keeper we'd got left.
“I also didn't know that Cloughie had rung my old man and told him, 'Get yourself to the game tonight – Mark's going to play. But whatever you do, don't tell him or he'll s*** himself.' So at 7pm, I'm in the boot room, none the wiser that my dad is being wined and dined backstage, when I get the shout.
“Cloughie gave me all sorts of nicknames – 'Barnsley' (my home town), 'Imbecile, 'Jigsaw' (because he reckoned I went to pieces when the ball came into the box) and 'S***house' – which he called other people as well. But when he called down the corridor, 'Hey, S***house' I just knew it was for me. I poked my head out around he door and he's stood there, green sweatshirt, blue tracksuit bottoms, tennis racquet in his hand.
“He said, 'Get your boots on, son – and it would help if you put your gloves on as well. You're playing.' Liverpool had Barnes, Beardsley and Rush playing that night, and if I'd had time to think about it, I probably would have s*** myself. Sure enough, we won the game 2-1 and afterwards Cloughie takes me to the referee's room, knocks on the door and says to the ref, 'I'd like the match ball for the S***house from Barnsley' – and I got it signed by all my team-mates.”
Clough even ordered Crossley to knock on the Liverpool changing room door and Kenny Dalglish's players sportingly obliged with the marker pen as well. Even when Sutton recovered, Crossley stayed in the first team – and even though his first mistake did not prove costly, Clough decided to keep him on his toes. “My house, tomorrow morning, nine o'clock sharp, bring your boots – and it would help if you bring your gloves as well.”
Crossley turned up as requested, thinking he was heading for a Sunday morning tutorial in the manager's back garden. Then Clough appeared in the kitchen. “Thank you for agreeing to play for our Simon's team – they haven't got a goalkeeper, but I thought you'd do.”
Crossley laughed: “So I find myself turning out in the Derbyshire Sunday League on a horrible pitch with dogs' mess and broken glass. Opposition players soon clocked me in the changing room, so we got fined £50 for playing a ringer – and Cloughie docked my wages fifty quid to pay the fine! That was his way of bringing me back down to earth – old school, old-fashioned psychology to make sure I didn't get too big for my boots.”
Crossley will be rooting for his old club this weekend, although Huddersfield's record of 0-0 draws in play-off finals suggests Forest may need to go the distance again – and for Samba to repeat his semi-final shoot-out heroics against Sheffield United.
“What I like about Brice is that he is so laid-back,” said Crossley. “He definitely falls into the eccentric category, but he still looks in control. If it goes to penalties again, I would make Forest slight favourites because of the big fella in goal.”
