Overwhelming the courtyard at St Andrew’s Cathedral school on Monday was a sombre mood and the smell of pollen.
It was the first day of students returning to the Sydney private school grounds since the body of the 21-year-old water polo coach Lilie James was found in the gym bathroom about midnight last Wednesday.
They walked into the school with arms full of bright bouquets to lay at the front door in memory of James. Alongside them, teachers and parents held each other in long embraces.
Among the mass of flowers were notes of love – “Lilie, those we love never truly leave us, they live with us forever in our hearts and memories” – and a big white teddy bear.
To many students, James was a beloved coach. One student carried a water polo ball, which she was seen asking other students to sign.
Police were searching for James’s colleague and former student at the school Paul Thijssen in relation to the death. He has been missing since James was killed. A male body has since been recovered from rough waters at Vaucluse.
“We are left with grief, shock and utter confusion – because both parties were known to our school,” the head of school, Dr Julie McGonigle, told students at an assembly on Monday morning.
“Our beautiful Ms James, a ray of light, and Mr Thijssen, whose actions are completely incongruent with who we knew.”
McGonigle said “the tight-knit, deeply loving and faith-filled nature of our community is what will get us through this and you have demonstrated that in its fullness over these last days”.
“Some of what I share in this briefing will be difficult to hear. However, I want to treat you with the utmost respect, you are not children, you are young adults and I want you to hear the truth about what happened from me.”
Many students walked out of the assembly hall with wet, teary faces.
Precautions are being taken at the school for students’ safety and wellbeing – extra counsellors will be provided, the gymnasium will be out of bounds and a drop-in counselling centre will be run in a library.
In a note to parents on Friday afternoon, McGonigle said James was “adored by all”.
“She was full of vitality, energy, enthusiasm and a natural fit in our community,” McGonigle said. “There are no words for what has occurred. It is like entering a foreign land which possesses no words.”
James’s colleagues said they were “utterly heartbroken”, in a note that was also shared.
“She was a vibrant, smart, compassionate young lady who impacted the lives of many at our school.”
A fundraiser on behalf of the James family has raised almost $15,000 in just four days.
The fund’s organiser and a friend of the family, Daniel Makovec, wrote that “everyone who has been graced with the presence of Lilie will be broken forever”.
“With tears streaming, numb with disbelief, this new journey is now a long one for the family,” he said. “We will be grieving this loss for ever.”
On the weekend, a group of relatives, friends and school community members gathered at a candle-lit vigil in San Souci in Sydney’s south.
James’s grandmother Barbara Adelt said on 2GB: “Look, Lilie, they are all turning out for you. She’d love that, she would.”
Adelt continued: “Some people come into the world, I think, they are so special, and they don’t stay long. Now, I think that was my granddaughter.
“She was so kind to everybody else. She was the most loyal person. Very loyal. She’s her mum’s daughter.
“She was so full of life. She never stopped. She went to university, she worked four and a half days a week, she coached swimming, she coached water polo.
“We just can’t understand why this would happen to her.”
• In Australia, the crisis support service Lifeline is 13 11 14 and the national family violence counselling service is on 1800 737 732. Other international helplines can be found at befrienders.org
